Author	Thread: Satirical Tips for Profile Writing
Admin	Satirical Tips for Profile Writing Posted : 2 May, 2010 07:34 PM 1) Profile information-write nothing or as little as possible on your profile. Give women no information to go on and know you by. Also, throw in random and useless information that has nothing to do with finding someone on this site or dating and that will bore her or cause her to pass you by. 2) Profile pictures- make sure you have a picture of you taken in a bathroom, preferably a public bathroom. This reeks of lack of taste and will be sure to communicate that. Also, make sure you have a picture of you with your shirt off. And flexing your muscles if you like. This always is a big hit with women looking for a serious, godly man. 3)Physical requirements-make absolutely sure that you stress and restress that you are looking for a mega-beautiful woman with absolutely no body fat. Make sure you say three or four times that you are into fitness. Even if you are not and blatanty lying this will give the message that you don't want a fat woman by insinuating that they should be into fitness too-not fat. This step is crucial. Otherwise they will not know that you are utterly looks and weight obsessed, fleshy, and that they cannot weigh too much or be fat or ever weigh too much or be fat in the future. 4) Positive points-make sure you point out every detracting thing about you and your lifestyle. If you don't have a job, mention that. If you don't have a home church, mention that. If you don't have a home, mention that. Anything that is a major drawback, mention that. If you ever even had a chance with a woman, these tips are sure to ruin any and all chance you had. Of course this is tongue-in-cheek, but come on guys. A lot of you are doing this. If you are a serious guy on here, think about what you're doing and writing and what you make us endure when we have to read and look at some of your profiles. Post Reply
View Profile History	Satirical Tips for Profile Writing Posted : 3 May, 2010 02:57 PM @De Benny- Thanks for the encouragement =) @babygirl- I guess I mostly feel like others don't find me attractive, but I also don't really like what I see in the mirror that much either. I hate my body and my face needs some serious help. I read what edw wrote; it was helpful. And I don't really always feel like this... I've just been having a rough time with my body image lately. Maybe it's time that I re-read my "Loving Your Body" book... *sigh* It's packed with a lot of Scriptures and really sound advice that always helps turn my thinking around. And I feel like I've totally hijacked this thread now... sorry =( Post Reply
View Profile History	Satirical Tips for Profile Writing Posted : 3 May, 2010 07:08 PM While this is funny; I find it funnier that the respectable guys on this site with lots of substance on their profiles are so passed over that they wind up getting discouraged and consider shutting their profile down. /sarcasm. But seriously....some of the ladies on here (none of you, I'm sure) are just as bad. - Rodey Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Satirical Tips for Profile Writing Posted : 3 May, 2010 07:17 PM Yup Rodey, and we earned a "Satirical tips..." thread of our own over on "Ask a Girl" too! Post Reply
View Profile History	Satirical Tips for Profile Writing Posted : 3 May, 2010 07:18 PM Yeah...I saw that after I posted on here. *grab foot, insert in mouth. Post Reply

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