Author	Thread: Private or something to hide?
mcmarilyn View Profile History	Private or something to hide? Posted : 18 Apr, 2010 02:54 PM I have always thought that when you have met someone and have dated a couple of times that they will tell you where they live or even will invite you to their house. I have dated someone I met online two years ago who refuses to tell me where he lives. W have been talking for two years and have met several times. We started be sending pictures of each ohter and talking for hours on the phone. He paid for me to fly to meet him in the state he lives in, but not the town he lives in. A little background info. He has been a widower and I know he is not married. So if a person tells you they love you and really care for you why would they not invite you to their home? He knows where I live and I have been open and honest with him. He tells me he is a very private person. Well, personally I think he has something to hide. Post Reply
View Profile History	Private or something to hide? Posted : 20 Apr, 2010 07:26 PM After 2 years you should know where he lives, or know why you don't know. Talk to him, see if he will share with you his reasons. Remind him that he can trust you. I understand about the time and the emotions involved. Whatever you do, think about it hard and pray about it a lot. God will let you know the right thing to do. Post Reply
View Profile History	Private or something to hide? Posted : 5 May, 2010 12:55 PM Hello: I can empathize with you ..I was married for over 22 years and even four years after my divorce I was/am very vulnerable. Men seem to hone in on that (at least the ones that want to know everything about you, but tell you only so much about them). RED FLAGS, this is something we as women should not push aside and sweep under the carpet. God gave us intuition for a reason, and protection is one of those reasons. The protection could be safety and/or in guarding our hearts and minds. I can empathize because I "fell" into a similar hole, my heart and mind was not guarded and I talked for hours over the phone and over 600 emails in a matter of just 2 months...I was on the end of his fiishing line as he was reeling me in gnoring the red flags and only listening to his promises and proclaimed love for me. (This was also someone I went to school with in eigth grade). Long story short I did wise up and ended it, but that didn't erase all the emotional energy and heartfelt time I wasted. Lesson learned for me, if a guy is not willing to be honest right up front, an example: if he wants to know where I live and wont tell me where he lives I don't move any further, I would not go very far with this time wise, maybe a few weeks depending on the circumstance and situation. I have been known to be too honest to a falt and if someone is wanting to know all about me but not telling (selling me on him) me all about him I'm done. I know that may sound so final but I have found out some times you must devise your own ways of weeding people out right away so you don't waste your time. I am not a pursuer, I want to be persued and if a man is not willing to tell me all about himself and why he would like me to consider him, then he hasn't taken the time in the begining...and if in the begining he doesn't put in the effort, then what is he going to be like later on? Just saying... Post Reply
View Profile History	Private or something to hide? Posted : 14 Aug, 2010 03:30 PM Honesty and openess are key to the foundation of a good relationship. People who say they are very private to me just throws up a red flag. I tell them everything about me, maybe not upon the first few meetings, but I do open up. If he can't share with you the basics such as name, address, occupation, and answer your questions within a few months of chatting online and phone calls, then he must have something to hide. One time I sent emails back and forth to a widowed man for a few weeks. He told me his name. Out of wanting to know more, I looked up his name on the newspaper website and found out his wife had died one week before he started chatting with me. Immediately I excused myself from communicating with him because he wasn't honest about when his wife had passed away, and it was much too soon for him to be looking for a relationship of long term, like me. One of my friends was dating a man that lived a few hours away. Come to find out, he was married and had children in his home. He was a two timing man looking for a good time, and played on her emotions and loneliness. If he has swooned you, showered you with presents, compliments galore, is eager for a physical relationship, and is private about his personal life, then these are all signs of a player. And when he has received what he wants, he will drop you and move on to his next victim. It's a game. I would ask kindly to visit his home, meet with some of his friends or family members too. If he can't fit you in to his life, then you should close the door. Secrets are not what you want. God bless you on your journey! ~Kathy Post Reply
View Profile History	Private or something to hide? Posted : 11 Dec, 2010 03:18 PM Hi, How do u know he's not married? As believers we are to be transparent with one another. How can u ever trust this person when they are not forward with you about very important things. I personally believe that you are wasting your time with this person. You deserve to know and be known. Ask God how to gracefully end this "relationship". I would agree with other persons that point out that he may have a family already. You are being deceived in some way. I met a man many years ago who would not disclose his age or other "private" things about himself. He actually asked me to marry him and stated several reasons to do so. Even at a young age, I was in my 20's and I knew that there was a lot more needed before you would ask an important question like "will you marry me". He had also been married 7 times already...I ran the other way! U should too. hope this helps. Post Reply

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