Author	Thread: I have a sincere question for you guys (girls feel free to jump in)
Admin	I have a sincere question for you guys (girls feel free to jump in) Posted : 15 Apr, 2010 06:39 AM First, I ask you to be truthful yet tactful in your responses. :-) Okay here's my question & situation ... 1a) How can you tell if a "Christian" man is being truthful/for real with you? 1b) How long should one give the benefit of the doubt for? Situation: I met a seemingly really great "Christian" man here on CDFF. We have been sending emails back and forth. We have also been sending emails to each other on our personal email address as well. They have started to become less often to hardly at all. I'm not one that does well with hints, I do much better with truth. So ... I asked him if he wanted too continue to get to know each other or if he has had a change of heart. I've asked this in so many words on two occasions and both times he stated he is still interested in getting to know me, he has just been slammed lately with his online ebay business more so than usual and is sorry he has not been able to connect with me. Now, to read his profile in combination with the emails we've sent to each other it just does not seem his character would be one to just say something to pacify me. However, it has been a full week, yes folks 7 days, and I've not heard from him. I understand being overwhelmed at work as I experience that on a fairly regular basis. But I'm thinking if you are truly interested in someone would you not make time for that person? Now I have no idea how an Ebay business runs and he also stated he helps others start up their Ebay businesses as well which is why I'm wondering just how much leeway does one give in this area? Mind you I truly like this man and would love to know him better... Okay I'm rambling now ... The floor is now yours ... =) Post Reply
View Profile History	I have a sincere question for you guys (girls feel free to jump in) Posted : 17 Apr, 2010 07:27 PM Sweetlife, I thank you for your insight, wisdom, and kind words. You seem too truly have a sweet spirit (Gods tenderness shining thru you.) You've made several good points in your synopsis of my situation. I will continue to bring this before the Lord. I know His word will not return void. I again sincerely thank you again for your voicing what God has placed on your heart. God bless, savedbygrace3 Post Reply
View Profile History	I have a sincere question for you guys (girls feel free to jump in) Posted : 17 Apr, 2010 07:42 PM Hi Sos, Wow! I am so glad you gave me insight on what he may be going thru. I can only imagine the demands having your own business can take upon ones system. Especially in today's economy. He truly seems to be a man of moral character, as well as a heart for God. I'm going too continue to keep this before the Lord. Sos, I sincerely thank you for your input. In Him, savedbygrace3 Post Reply
mcmarilyn View Profile History	I have a sincere question for you guys (girls feel free to jump in) Posted : 18 Apr, 2010 02:41 PM Your relationship sounds like mine. I have been in a relatinship with someone I met online two years ago. We used to talk for hours on end. Then we met a couple of times. He lives in another state and traveling and distance is an obstacle. I told him I wanted more out of the relationship and he sort of backed off for awhile. I get the same thing explanation that he is slammed with work. He even missed calling me on my birthday. I get busy myself but always find time to talk. I have the same dilema. I asked him if he was blowing me off and he said no. But the other thing is he will not tell me is address where he lives and it has been two years! I asked him if he is dating someone and he got upset with me and said no. I am really discouraged myself and don't know if I am wasting my time. I love him very much and he has told me he loves me. But I am really not sure, since his actions seem to tell me otherwise. I guess actions speak louder than words. Post Reply
SOS4EMAILFRIEND View Profile History	I have a sincere question for you guys (girls feel free to jump in) Posted : 18 Apr, 2010 03:24 PM @ mcmarilyn Allow me a few observations. Your relationship seemed to be doing find until you mentioned that you wanted more of it. Then he sort of backed off for a while. Have you ever considered the possibility that he thinks he is having the perfect relationship now and does not want anymore? This is all fine with him. Every now and then the two of meet. Next time you could even spend some more time together like a week or two (including the nights) but then the both of you return to their own lives. I do not think he has another and I also believe that in his own peculiar, weird way he loves you But he has different expectations than you from a relationship. I think he is planning to keep it on line for ever. I think you are right to be worried, but not about his feelings for you but about your feelings for him. As I see it, you are heading for a very severe heartache, as I truly feel that he does not have a true relationship in mind where the two of you will be together, but is enjoying the benefits of an distant relationship and trying to get the best out of it by keeping you in the belief that he loves you and has no other. I would not be surprised if on your next meeting he would expect you to behave as if you were married because you have been in a "relationship" for 2 years now. Please be extremely cautious. Post Reply
View Profile History	I have a sincere question for you guys (girls feel free to jump in) Posted : 18 Apr, 2010 08:40 PM Without reading everyone else's responses I wanted to jump in and just say...You might consider posing these questions to him.This is where communication in a relationship is key.You should be able to state your concerns and feelings,as it seems like you started to,but that you aren't satisfied with his answers and why.You both need to come to some sort of an acceptable relations or determine it isn't working.It;s ok to fear the response you might get but it's not ok to let your fears stop you from being open and honest yourself.Now I'm not saying you are lying,what I mean is that you aren't being totally open to him and also yourself.It doesn't matter what we think is acceptable to us in our relationships,what is acceptable to you and him?That's were true healthy relations thrive.A healthy relationship is going to have 2 people able to give and take with more effort being made to the benefit of both parties as a couple.Also if you haven't yet,you need to both be clear about the outcome of the relationship right off the bat,ie...do you both have the same intentions?I find always a good thing to ask God to show me,to give me wisdom as to what is true and real.He Will! Post Reply
View Profile History	I have a sincere question for you guys (girls feel free to jump in) Posted : 19 Apr, 2010 09:11 PM Hey there Mike, Thanks for taking the time to jump in. Couple of things however... I'm sure your intentions were good but you may want to be sure you truly understand the topic your addressing before submitting your "final answer." First, yes it's apparent you truly have not read the communication that has been going on between all of us. It may have been helpful for you too have done so in order to have offered a more suitable and relevant response. Second, I would not have thought you were; as you stated, "Calling you a liar," (meaning me) although I do find it a bit disconcerting to have even come up with a statement such as that when you don't even know me. You've stated you had not read the communication between all of us, and from reading your response I'm thinking either you also may not have read my full question I presented or perhaps you misunderstood what I was asking. Post Reply
View Profile History	I have a sincere question for you guys (girls feel free to jump in) Posted : 20 Apr, 2010 11:10 AM Wekk I had read all of your message but I;m sorry I didn't have the answer you were looking for.I'll not disturb your conversation again...Mike Post Reply
Christiancowboy1 View Profile History	I have a sincere question for you guys (girls feel free to jump in) Posted : 25 Apr, 2010 06:37 AM First off I would like to say that it is so awesome and wonderful that you are so open and also seeking the Lord's will and truth in all things. I pray that what the Lord has blessed and shown me will bless and you and give you peace in knowing his will is being done in this as it is in all things. I have been divorced and on line for a few years now and on many sites writing, blogging, and hoping for my special one the Lord has for me too just as you. The Lord has shown me that to be equally yoked it in tails many areas. First have the same mind in him and then be going in the same direction in him. Then he also showed me through Paul's words, to allow the Lord to prove all things in time. Many of us come on here with our desire to have a mate or find one, being what is driving and controlling us. This is were the Lord has shown me that we are not submitting to his will or allowing him to do it. We tend to start our own thinking. In this I mean, we meet someone and seem to hit it off with them good, then we start our own thinking. Is this the one? This is were we then start trying to make things happen instead of allowing them to be of him and his will. If a relationship is of him and his will, he will make it clear and there will be no doubts about it. Were there is doubt, it is not of him or his will. In your case, i see it as a time to just back off and allow time and the Lord to prove if this was just to be a freindship, or more, or even less. Time always proves all things, if we have faith in him to do so and lead us. I pray this gives you peace, and helps you understand more of what having faith and allowing him to lead and prove all things. He is so faithful, when we trust him, and he knows best for us and has a perfect plan for us. One which is far greater then we can see or imagine, if we only allow him to lead. Blessings, David Post Reply
View Profile History	I have a sincere question for you guys (girls feel free to jump in) Posted : 12 Jun, 2010 09:45 PM I agree with Mike & the Cowboy. I know Mike may not have read it all, but I did & still think he had a great point. Even though you have clearly communicated what you want fromt he relationship & I understand the frustration as well b/c a man just recently did that to me. I have a buffer though b/c I have had men play with me like this b4 & I now know how to "guard my heart" as instructed in Proverbs. Just to encourage you - remember that he is not THE ONE until he IS "the one". By this I mean that men (particularly strangers) deserve the respect & the right to PROVE themselves BEFORE you offer your heart. You are not supposed to be expected to give everything up front. I have a BIG problem with marriage-seekers on dating sites b/c they are giving us hoops to jump through BEFORE they feel like deciding whether or not they want to commit. We women need to guard our heart b/c until there's a ring, there is NO commitment on their part to protect you. AND online!!!!! For goodness SAKE, isn't anybody paying attention to the venue here?!?! It's the internet - Nothing is eternal or eternally safe here. accept the risks. it's smarter to decide in person instead of at their word whether or not there is character there. Anybody can look good in a moment, on a page, or in a picture (visual or word). The relationship still stands to be tested BEFORE there should be an exchange of emotional commitment. It isn't a RELATIONSHIP until you are actively & personally HAVING a relationship. It's fun to get to know someone online -but, Mike is right. the only way that can work in Introduction to a meaningful Relationship is if there is COMPLETE open honesty. You may have done all the smart & right things, but consider perhaps that he is a MAN & will still be a man in communication whether by email or otherwise. It's just a stumbling block. I'm sure everything will be alright. Please just be careful while you're being faithful. and-God be with you. -Joy Post Reply
View Profile History	I have a sincere question for you guys (girls feel free to jump in) Posted : 10 Sep, 2010 04:34 PM Ok, first of all, how long have you been talking to him? Second, I am not sure how long its been since you've posted this, but being a gal and all, I would say that he cannot possibly be busy 24/7. There must be some time during the day he could message you. Do you talk on the phone? Text each other? Or just message on here. If you are just messaging on this website, computer problems could be the issue. It is hard to tell, really, if he is honest with you or not. However, I am not into liars, and I believe a true christian is not a liar. So, therefore, If he is a true christian, he is not lying. Post Reply

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