Author	Thread: shy guys
miekachan View Profile History	shy guys Posted : 10 Apr, 2010 05:45 PM ok...so this is directed to guys...but girls can post their input as well. if a guy is really shy, what would be the best way to approach him about a possible realtionship (ie:asking him out on a date)? Post Reply
View Profile History	shy guys Posted : 12 Apr, 2010 10:14 AM i agree. but it's still different degrees of the same thing. shyness, is a choice based on caution, too much caution, or even out right fear. it's not unreasonable to be cautious in a new environment, but what i've found is at some point one needs to get over it and move on. and what shy people don't seem to realize is they need to keep their eyes open and look for or create opportunities and reality that result in making a connection and be fully mission capable and happy, rather than depending on God, fate, or other people to do this for them. Shyness is kinda like the brake peddle when life takes us down different avenues and some just never take their foot off of it in my opinion. it's not necessarily bad, but it's also inhibiting themselves from living life the way it was meant to be. to the fullest. and that's not good. like i said i still don't have it all figured out yet either. just my opinion thus far. Post Reply
View Profile History	shy guys Posted : 12 Apr, 2010 10:22 AM also, i don't judge shy people either. alot of them are very nice decent people, but it's sad to see them unhappy or unsuccessful or not living up to their full potential because of their fear that they can't influence their reality. and i hate to see that because while i understand it, it's something they need to get through on their own and there's only so much you can do to help. i'd still describe myself as fairly shy from time to time, but have moved up in the 'just shy-crippling shy' spectrum alot, and look forward to moving up some more. Post Reply
View Profile History	shy guys Posted : 12 Apr, 2010 12:44 PM Move over Dr. Phil! Thar's a new sheriff in town! :applause: I kinda like that "just-shy crippling-shy" terminology... Kinda reminds me of a '80's Micheal Jackson lyric.... Anyway, both you and Inhishonor make good cases for either side. I still think some girls like for a guy to be a little shy, but not the "awe,shucks" Elmer Fudd style. I missed out on a lot of great opportunities in my younger days due to my shy nature, but I'm making up for it now.Some guys just can't help it. I don't think many of them have any self-doubt issues, or lack of self esteem, it's just their nature. My dad use to tell me to "grow a backbone!" He never met a stranger. I always wanted to be like that but I just wasn't the assertive type. I don't see shy folks as dysfunctional myself either. Just not bold. It's just in their blood. Doesn't mean there's anything wrong with them. It's a comfort zone thing. Everyone has their own comfort zone I guess. Post Reply
View Profile History	shy guys Posted : 12 Apr, 2010 12:59 PM Oh, and me..... I don't particulary like for a woman to be too assertive, if you're on your first date and she starts ordering for you or telling you what to order-(No, you don't need that! It's bad for you.....or..That's just nasty!) back away from the table. Means nothing but rolling pin bashing and fryin' pan chunkin' in the future. I know. Too shy and you'll be embarrassed to take her anywhere because your friends will think she's a snob or something. I never go anywhere so that's fine with me, but a woman on the other hand (this is just the personal opinion of a redneck banjo picker) needs a guy that will know when to speak up or take control. (that's where assertive comes in) Also, when to keep quiet and make like wallpaper (that's when Elmer comes in). Kinda hard to be both, huh fellas! That's why some guys do a lot of :toomuch: when they should be doing a lot of:prayingm: to keep from :boxing: or going :ribbit: and :dancingp: Post Reply
SOS4EMAILFRIEND View Profile History	shy guys Posted : 12 Apr, 2010 01:35 PM And... men who are not at all shy, surely can become shy with a women who always has an answer to everything... ..:ROFL::ROFL::ROFL::ROFL: Nothing dysfuncitonal here (with the man that is...) The above is just a small profile of myself here. No harm meant. To answer the post: No do not ask the guy for a date. You intrude his territory. Keep on the female side and use the tools and instruments available on that side of the scene. If he is interested, he will overcome his shyness. Also be patient, do not start to give yourself ultimatums (if he has not replied by Monday next, I will move on...) Post Reply
View Profile History	shy guys Posted : 12 Apr, 2010 08:02 PM I have found being a good listener helps. Also, bringing up conversational topics and giving him time to respond. Post Reply
stormcountry33 View Profile History	shy guys Posted : 14 Apr, 2010 08:11 AM I am a really shy guy and in the past I have misread females clues and it has left me hurt. If someone was interested in me and approached me about going out, it might take more than just saying "hey, you want to hang out sometime?" I may think that you just want to be friends and that the interest level may be not be that high. Be persistant to a point and goodluck! Post Reply
View Profile History	shy guys Posted : 17 Apr, 2010 10:26 PM I would agree with a lot of these posts. Some of us can't take a hint. Some may not be interested. Some are shy. Another angle to consider is he may be scared of rejection if he's been hurt. For example: I've been hurt and don't contact very many ladies here. I mainly just poke around the forms. I've really only talked to one woman on a personal level for the last 7 years, and I see a lot of separated and divorced statuses here. And that poses a question for a different thread. Post Reply

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