Author	Thread: feelings
anyann View Profile History	feelings Posted : 19 Mar, 2010 01:34 PM why do guys don't like to talk about their feelings with a woman? is it considered as some kind of weakness? respect Ann Post Reply
View Profile History	feelings Posted : 20 Mar, 2010 01:31 PM Throughout history and time itself...men have been look towards to be the "defender"...the "last stand"...the "protector". I believe God made us stronger, bigger, for that purpose (not to say that women cannot be or do the same). With that said...we have to ignore (set aside) anything that will "weaken" us, that will "lessen" our resolve to be the "protector". So...consequently, we don't bring up our weakness's, our shortcomings or any negative aspect that we are feeling as we feel it will make us look weaker...less able to defend. Also, if I cannot handle it myself...then I'll wait until I can figure out how to handle it myself ("no need to worry ma'am"). I go to the doctor when it is about to fall off or die (in other words..."only when it hurts like Heck!"). Logically...I know this is not the best way to be...but it is the way I am. Maybe it is the way my brain is wired...it has always been that way. I have no problem asnwering questions about how I feel (to the right person) and I LOVE being pampered when sick, BUT I will not lie down until I am ready to Fall down. Childish? Perhaps. As for communicating...I believe I do that very well and I am also very attuned to another person "vital signs"...what they are showing or expressing. Now I forgot what this post was about? Is that a sign of Ole Timers Disease? Post Reply
anyann View Profile History	feelings Posted : 21 Mar, 2010 02:53 AM Thanks :) Men who get in touch with their feelings can reinvent themselves. /L.James/ Ann Post Reply
View Profile History	feelings Posted : 21 Mar, 2010 03:50 AM Ann, It's not so much "getting in touch" with our feelings as giving them a whole lot of Importance. Since my divorce I find myself crying at commercials (something I would have had myself "committed" just a few years ago). The one that I have to change channels to avoid... is the one with the dogs and cats that have been abused. I used to think that women were "handicapped" by their sensitivity and open display of emotions. God has shown me that that is very far from the truth. I am able to "allow" those feelings to come to fruitation and "Feel" them and then let them pass. By doing so I get so much more "Imput" and I am better prepared to make decisions (whereas before I would "mask" or "squash" any or all such "feelings". In the Military I learned how to Disengage myself from my surroundings and react only to "real" stimulus. It was good while in a combat situation, but it was a poor way to Live your Life back In The World. Again, I have rambled off the subject (which I cannot remember). Anyway...Vote for me come November! Post Reply
anyann View Profile History	feelings Posted : 21 Mar, 2010 11:16 AM If we are striving for a Christlike character what do you think - does He pay much importance to feelings? Post Reply
View Profile History	feelings Posted : 21 Mar, 2010 02:35 PM Tough question. Good question. All I can think of is what Rich Mullins said at his last concert: I�m all the time being asked by people, �How do ya feel closer to God.� And I kinda always want to say �I don�t know.� When I read the lives of most of the great saints they didn�t necessarily feel very close to God. When I read the Psalms I get the feeling like David and the other Psalmists felt quite far away from God for most of the time. Closeness to God is not about feelings, closeness to God is about obedience� I don�t know how you feel close to God. And no one I know that seems to be close to God knows anything about those feelings either. I know if we obey occasionally the feeling follows, not always, but occasionally. I know that if we disobey we don�t have a shot at it. He said alot of great things like that in that concert. You can watch the whole thing on youtube. It was just terrific. I recommend it to anybody. I suppose my conclusion would be feelings have their importance, but they're just a part, not the whole. in the end i think what matters is what you do with those feelings. Post Reply
anyann View Profile History	feelings Posted : 23 Mar, 2010 11:44 AM thanks, had not seen him before. Yes, to love God with all your heart means to love God with all of your feelings, with all of your emotions and with all your passion. is it enough..? Post Reply
View Profile History	feelings Posted : 24 Mar, 2010 05:01 PM Ok, Steve, (arch) I will vote for you to be the new top monkey in washington come November. Your friend, Dennis Post Reply
skinnywhiteboy View Profile History	feelings Posted : 26 Mar, 2010 10:56 AM anyann, In my opinion, women "live with" their emotions quite well. They use them to make decisions and choices. Men, on the other hand, well, we're used to a much lower level of emotion in our daily life. When a woman feels an emotion, it's completely normal for her. Men, on the other hand see emotions as something to get over, deal with, and get on with the thing they were doing. Most men don't like to talk about their feelings, that's true, as in our minds they aren't "real" or a plausible solution to anything. I'll give you an example from my own life: I'm moving, and may have to give up my cat. I adopted the cat in January, and through circumstances beyond my control, I may have to give him back to the spca if I can't find a home for him. My feelings in this situation are: Anger first and foremost, at the guy who put me in the situation of giving up the cat. The next is sadness. Sadness because I failed at the act of taking care of one of God's creatures. The third is pain. I just want to curl up and hold my cat to the last minute I possibly can. While there's nothing wrong with feeling the way I do, none of these emotions are helping the situation. I'm not gonna hurt the guy who put me in this situation, so that's a dead end street. I'm gonna have to face God one day, and explain to him why I have to dump this cat, so feeling bad about it isn't doing me any good either. As for the pain? Well, I don't have any choice in the matter, so I'm gonna have to deal with that too. It came with the territory when I adopted the cat. The only thing that's helping the situation is me trying to find a home for the cat before the spca. That could certainly be argued as love, but the way guys think, it's simply the right/only thing to do. Hope this helps! Post Reply

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