Author	Thread: PLEASE help me understand something...
Admin	PLEASE help me understand something... Posted : 25 Sep, 2009 08:52 AM Ok here's a question for the guys: When you are sending a girl a private message, and that message consists of nothing more than "Hi! How are you?" what exactly are you expecting to hear back in return? The following is an actual private message conversation that I had with someone: Guy: Hey!! How are you?? Me: Good! How are you? Guy: pretty good:) just watching tv and taking it easy haha.. Me: Cool. Sounds like fun :D Guy: haha yeah And that's it....I mean how exacly am I supposed to respond to "haha yeah"? In my opinion, if you're the one to initiate a message- that equates to an express of interest. Usually, when trying to get someone to be interested in return, most people should want to leave a good impression and give the other person a reason to return the interest. If you want to start a conversation with someone, give the other person something to respond to. Looking at the conversation above, you can clearly see that it went absolutely nowhere, and its highly likely that it will not go any further. I have to admit, I am totally capable of turning that conversation around and create a semi-meaningful conversation (probably not fully meaningful because based on the guy's previous responses, he does has not proved to me that he is equally capable in the art of conversing). However, what is there to motivate me to push the conversation any further? Why should I be the one to put forth maximum effort when there's clearly not much effort coming from his end and I'm not even the one to start the conversation. I feel like if you're interested in me, then you need to do some work to make me interested in you. I'm not desperate and I won't settle for just anyone. I'm not going to work really hard and push myself to make you interesting. In the conversation above, I responded with lame responses...but I consider those lame responses opportunities for him to see that the conversation was not leading anywhere, and yet I was still responding, so he should have noticed this and given me more to respond to. Now my biggest question: what motivates guys to ask "how are you?" in an initial message and nothing else? And do you really expect much out of it? This exact message comprises roughly 70-80% (if not more) of all incoming messages I receive in my inbox. And not once has it resulted in a decent conversation. I know I'm not boring, even though the conversation above may prove otherwise to you....but I am not going to try if you're not going to try. I would really love to hear a guy's perspective on all of this. Post Reply
View Profile History	PLEASE help me understand something... Posted : 25 Sep, 2009 02:01 PM LOL! I believe you :glow:....So enlighten me. How does the rest of the conversation go between Thing 1 and Thing 2? Post Reply
View Profile History	PLEASE help me understand something... Posted : 25 Sep, 2009 02:04 PM impossible. the moment is gone. my faith in this site is so shattered now.:toomuch: Post Reply
View Profile History	PLEASE help me understand something... Posted : 25 Sep, 2009 02:10 PM Remp25, I'm so disappointed.....if what you were saying was true about your conversation being cut off by this site....so many guys could have been enlightened on how to hold a conversation through private messages with a "how are you?" message...now the world will never know...and I will continue to receive messages that go nowhere....:winksmile: Post Reply
View Profile History	PLEASE help me understand something... Posted : 25 Sep, 2009 02:11 PM So? Post Reply
Linnie41 View Profile History	PLEASE help me understand something... Posted : 26 Sep, 2009 01:52 AM Okay Miami, I know I'm not a guy, but I get the same "How are you" messages, or worse yet, "Hi." That's it. "Hi." To give some of the guys that might read this an example of what they could write, I looked at your profile. It was easy, because you left so many open doors for conversation. 1.) So you're a teacher? What subject do you teach? 2.) I see you like adventures - ever gone scuba diving? (Or some sport the guy might be into) 3.) I read a great book on stargazing/hiking/camping/clouds/thunderstorms (pick one), it's called __________. Have you heard of it? 4.) I also love photography. If 70% of your pics are nature related, what were the other 30% taken of? 5.) I see from your profile you love music - who's your favorite band? What concerts have you been to? You all get the drift. These took two minutes to come up with. Find ANYTHING in the profile to ask about or discuss to open up a line of conversation. It's really not that hard. Then again, I talk so much I could get one of the Queen's guards to say, "Would you shut UP already?!?!" Lol Blessings, Lynn Post Reply
Koinonia87 View Profile History	PLEASE help me understand something... Posted : 26 Sep, 2009 06:37 PM Agreed, it shouldn't be that hard to come up with a question or comment. If someone can do it when the call the number on a cereal box (never done it, honest), then it can be done here to show interest and maybe even that you read her profile. :glow: Post Reply
mariangela View Profile History	PLEASE help me understand something... Posted : 28 Sep, 2009 11:48 PM I am not a guy, but I could not help smiling, you go girl, its so true what you say.... :ROFL: Post Reply
View Profile History	PLEASE help me understand something... Posted : 30 Sep, 2009 07:00 AM Yes,I too have had these kinds of messages,cute picture,no substance,nothing to go on,whats worse is one gal did the one or two word answer thing,so I went to her profile,and it was like one line,LOL,oh well.....a woman of few words.....what a ya gonna do?I mean if I wanted to have a conversation with myself,I could just set up two profiles and email myself!:applause: LOL IN CHRIST Steven Post Reply
eric198375 View Profile History	PLEASE help me understand something... Posted : 29 Nov, 2009 11:52 PM Miami, In answer to your question - what guys really mean by "how are you?" Its just a way of starting a conversation. It has a little more meaning than "hi". Its a question I ask multiple times per day when I'm checking groceries. About the only expectation we have is that your answer will somewhat synch up with the question. So, looking at the conversation, I don't think there were any hidden messages from "Guy". It just looked like an awkward conversation to me without any direction. Post Reply

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