Not wanting to be viewed or contacted by a Filipna
Posted : 13 Mar, 2015 07:54 PM
Honestly speaking as the tittle implies "Not wanting to be viewed or contacted by a Filipna" seems a bit "racist to me". It seems like our race especially the women are so crazy to hook up with any foreign guys. I do respect whatever judgment you have, if that judgement is being rooted with bad experience you had with Filipinas before. But don't generalize us all Filipinas, as we don't generalize other race. Some foreign guys are good and some are not, but I don't condemn the bad ones with their race for being such. I joined this site it's because most of the other chat rooms, social media are so full of immoral things that mostly my age are into. I'm so fed up with physical and worldly things that most people of today post on their social media. I have a first impression of this site as a modest and spiritually driven site, that have a respect for one another no matter what color of our skin, or faith that we believe in....and I just hope that impression would somehow lasts. :glow:
Not wanting to be viewed or contacted by a Filipna
Posted : 3 Apr, 2015 07:40 PM
First of all, sorry this is sooo long, but just wanted to give my honest opinion here...
This is just my perception, not an expert here so don't shoot me! Hehe!
Interesting topic, with good point of views from a diverse outlook. For me, living in Hawaii has given me several different outlooks of culture, beliefs and values. This is only one of the diversity of cultures we have here.
I have met Filipinas that have different point of views primarily of their situations, but I'm not saying that they all fall in these categories, for there are exceptions for all individuals have their differences and outlook.
One is Filipinas who are born and raised here in Hawaii, USA. Although Hawaii does also have a different culture from many Mainland styles, but pretty much the same values. Age, looks, wealth... are big components in their lists of attraction. For the majority, money or material things seems to be the upmost point of interest. Drive a nice car, heads turn. But drive an old jalopy, heads also turn... but the other way, hehe. It has nothing to do with who you are or your behavior, for I've seen relationships between a beautiful hearted Filipinas and a handsome but ugly hearted guy going down the road in a suped up car.
Of course, she's not smiling, but got the Hawaiian Gold bracelets and other bling-blings. Her support of family? Pretty much nil, as with many American girls. Is this wrong? No, just upbringing. Does she love him? More than likely not.
Then is the Filipinas who came from the Philippines and became US citizens. They seem to have a mixture of values such as still having the closeness to family back home in the Philippines, but they learn the American style of choices. Age can becomes an issue for them, and wealth and looks begin to take importance a bit also, all by the influences of of society... and by the people they hang around with. Not that this is wrong, but it seems that when you factor in being a US citizen, values change. Again, not all of them have this outlook of values, but it happens. They still support family back home in the Philippines, which is still important to them. I have friends with Filipina wives from the Philippines, who are in agreement in helping support her family members by sending money and/or �balikbayan� boxes of clothing and other stuff. Then there are my other friends who don't like their support values. She is sad, and you can see it in their marriage. This is a huge part of her culture, but many foreigners don't hold the same values... it's not their culture.
The last are Filipinas in the Philippines. Family is very important. In the Philippines, there is no real elderly programs or Welfare programs to aid anyone, so to help family is the norm. If you think about it, that's kind of how it was done according to scripture. They only people who begged at the gate were authorized to. If your son marries, he brings home his wife and your family enlarges. The son stays home and takes care of his parents. If your daughter marries, you get a dowery, but lose your daughter to her husbands family. Hopefully the dowery can sustain you for the long run. Therefore, having sons were important. On the rabbit trail... Yeshua (Jesus) paid the price (dowery) so we can go live with Him and our Father evermore! Halleluyah! Uh, sorry... hehe.
Like I mentioned earlier, many foreigners don't have that value and find it strange to continue to support family... as much as it is strange for Filipinos to see putting ones aging parents in care homes, watching other family members suffer and keeping all wealth for themselves. As with anywhere in the world, culture/values can change by the government's help... or in this case, lack of it.
Many Filipinas are OFWs, or Overseas Foreign Workers in Hong Kong, Dubai, Singapore, and many other foreign lands, due to the lack of employment in the Philippines. They sacrifice their lives being away from their families working 6 days a week, 12 to 16 hour days, usually on a 2 year contract so they don't get to physically see their families for the duration, making about $500 a month, more or less. They send most of their wages home to support their families, and keep enough for a semi comfortable living for herself. Sadly though, many lose their own husbands this way, yet they are willing to take that chance for the wellbeing of her family. Talk about dedication to her family and cultural beliefs! I find this admirable! I bet that some of you guys who are reading this may have a change of heart for such a dedicated wife huh? Lol!
I live in a part of Hawaii, (sorry, not Honolulu, a different kind of Hawaii) where people are warm, still smile and say hello to you, as I have found it the same in parts of the Philippines, although not much in the big cities. I know this because I lived in the Philippines for about 2 years in the past, and met very beautiful people there, as well as some not so beautiful. They truly are a warm, giving people. I blended in to be as they are, and as a result, made many, many friends.
Yet, today, poverty is rampant there, and finding a local partner in life who is well off enough to give a decent living is kinda rare, so yes... foreigners are attractive... not necessarily for green cards, but just a better chance at a decent life. Is this wrong? Of course not! Don't we all strive to better ourselves all the time? I can say that we are all here in the pursuit of happiness... whatever that may look like.
We all have our likes and dislikes, similarities and differences, wants and needs... but sometimes this puts a big limitation on really finding your true love. I, myself have them too... I am a person who enjoys a lot of physical activities, like hiking, mountain biking, and other things, so when someone contacts me, who seems or appears not capable of being part of that either physically or just not their cup of tea, I may still say �Hi�, but the thought of leaving her at home so I can go out to do what I love kinda makes me sad. I want her involved with me in my life. So, yes... she's not my type... but she could change. Culture also may have a part with my likes or dislikes, but again, each individual is unique and have a different situation.
But cultural differences do play a big role in relationships, you can't deny that. You can embrace it or not. In fact, there are Americans who are interested in foreign women abroad because they don't like the ones in their own American culture... imagine that!
In the mid 1800s, Missionary Hudson Taylor went to China to evangelize. He dressed like, ate like, spoke and became Chinese in order to win their hearts to Christ. Not anyone can do that because of their own cultural beliefs and values getting in the way. How much are you willing to change to find the love of your life?
You can't change anybody else, you can only change yourself.
So, in a nutshell... what are you willing to sacrifice in order to find your partner in crime... uh, life?
When a profile states, �Love or accept me for who I am�, just know that culture and values is part of that.
And I agree, don't �bandwagon� a nationality because of what you perceive as less desirable, there are exceptions. And no, this is not being racist, but an individual with a closed mind or different value. Hehe, if they don't like you, that's their loss.
I'm not favoring anybody's values one way or another, for this is a two way street here.
A word of wisdom: True love says �I need you because I love you� and not, �I love you because I need you�.
Not wanting to be viewed or contacted by a Filipna
Posted : 3 Apr, 2015 11:27 PM
Hello keoni, I do appreciate your wide understanding for our culture, for how we Filipina are mostly like. How we value our family, our culture and our tradition, over our own personal interests, yet It sadden me to think that some of my sisters think that the only way to end poverty is to marry a foreigner. And whether I like it or not, it's hurtful and rampant especially for girls who have not able to attain some education, who are not able to find a decent work here, and who for most of their lives have been living in poverty.
I myself have experienced great and worse poverty, and until now still struggling to deal with it. And I dream also that one day I can able to uplift my family from such hard status. But still I thank God for giving me this kind of hardship, if I'm not poor I would not strive hard to be good at school and get a scholarship for college. If I'm not poor, I would not realize the value of saving, If I'm not poor I will not have dreams for my family and for my self.... I know that some of my sister would often choose the short smooth way instead of taking the long and rocky road. I don't have angst feelings towards them, all I want is that someday they will soon realize that money is not everything, that a long rocky road is worth to walked on instead the smooth one. And that there is God who will provide our needs everyday, and that Jesus himself was poor when He was still here on Earth.
I just hope that one day, a Filipina will marry a foreigner not because of green card status, visa, money and all such material things... she will marry that guy because, Hes the one that God destined for her to marry.
Not wanting to be viewed or contacted by a Filipna
Posted : 3 Apr, 2015 11:51 PM
femme15,
You are most welcome. Like I said in my word of wisdom,
�I need you because I love you� and not, �I love you because I need you�.
Share that with them and others, for Yeshua (Jesus) loves us unconditionally, not for what we do or have. He Just loves us, and if we can share a love like that, then we are loving with the love of our Heavenly Father.
I, and others here will pray with you for your sisters, both in your family and sisters in Christ, that they seek and find the truth. The truth will set them free...:applause:
And others here too, let us pray for on another for God's willingness to bless us in our search for His perfect match for us. Let's put God back in this site!
