Author	Thread: Is it wrong to tell someone you aren't attracted to them?
Admin	Is it wrong to tell someone you aren't attracted to them? Posted : 17 Dec, 2014 04:02 PM Hey Usually I read someones profile and look at their pictures to determine whether I want to think of them in a romantic way and start talking to them with the intention of starting a relationship. One day, a random guy on here messaged me with his skype name and no other information. I was kind of interested and bored. I wasn't attracted to his pictures, but liked the description on his profile, so I thought I would give him a chance. I called him up on skype, and after about fifteen minutes of talking to him, listening to him make awkward jokes etc, I realised I REALLY wasn't interested in him. He asked a question about something, and I felt like I couldn't keep leading him on, so I told him I wasn't attracted to him. He got really offended, and started asking me about it. I didn't know what to say, so I said he wasn't my type. He then asked me what my type was, and I didn't know what to say. Then he accused me of being shallow, and wanting to go after a super model. Is it wrong to want to be with someone that you are attracted to mentally and physically? I gave him a chance. I don't think you should be pressured into talking to anyone. It's a waste of both people's time if one person doesn't see any potential there. He made it quite clear from the start he hadn't bothered reading my whole profile (back in the day it was quite descriptive) and was just interested in me because of the cute pictures I had posted of myself (better than the one I have up now). If he is allowed to seek me out because he found me physically attractive, then why is it shallow for me not to be interested for similar reasons? Besides not being physically attracted to him, he kept making inappropriate racist jokes and I found him a bit sleazy. What do you think? Post Reply
View Profile History	Is it wrong to tell someone you aren't attracted to them? Posted : 19 Dec, 2014 06:54 PM Rejecting someone is tough and awkward -especially during or after a date. I tell people straight that I don't date. That way, there's no confusion or anxieties about rejecting or getting rejected. If we can't be friends first, why even bother to date in the first place? Dating can get in the way. That's why I prefer the non-dating approach. I'd rather make friends, and treat everybody as sisters. Things will work out. Post Reply
View Profile History	Is it wrong to tell someone you aren't attracted to them? Posted : 19 Dec, 2014 08:22 PM "I tell people straight that I don't date." That's interesting. If you don't date, then why are you on a dating site? And how do you plan on getting married? Dating is a conversation where two people meet in person and sit down face to face and try to figure out if they might be a compatible match. That's all. It is a friendly talk. Post Reply
View Profile History	Is it wrong to tell someone you aren't attracted to them? Posted : 19 Dec, 2014 09:44 PM Many people on this site are: a)just here to fellowship with other believers b)do not have a home church, so they hang out here c)are already in a relationship but like to keep in touch with friends here d)were already successful dating in real life and decided not to date anymore for various reasons e)etc. etc. Anybody can have a conversation without going on a date. Plus, you can't possibly learn or confirm your compatibility from a few hours of "dating". You can learn about your potential mate in so many other ways without being on a "date"- where people may or not be on their real behaviour. Post Reply
View Profile History	Is it wrong to tell someone you aren't attracted to them? Posted : 19 Dec, 2014 09:46 PM Agreed with Steph. Where does it say in the Bible about "dating" or "practice dating" to find a mate? Post Reply
View Profile History	Is it wrong to tell someone you aren't attracted to them? Posted : 19 Dec, 2014 10:16 PM LOL :ROFL: Post Reply
View Profile History	Is it wrong to tell someone you aren't attracted to them? Posted : 20 Dec, 2014 02:55 AM Yeah, I don't think it's right to practice dating. I'm not a strong Christian at the moment, but I always believed that when the time was right, God would lead me to the right person, or the right person would find me. I found that most of the Christians I know have dated around, and didn't marry the first person they went out with. They also weren't ''told'' by God, who they would be with. If God doesn't tell you who to be with, I think you can still apply wisdom from the Bible, common sense, Dr Phil, your parents, your church etc to make a wise decision. I don't think anyone has found a perfect way to meet the right person to marry. I would do courtship, but I don't think my parents are that interested in being involved with my love life. I think it's a smart approach though. My dad has agreed to lurk in the background if I do end up meeting someone from the internet :-p Post Reply
HoosierHomeschooler View Profile History	Is it wrong to tell someone you aren't attracted to them? Posted : 20 Dec, 2014 08:45 AM I wouldn't "practice date" a woman I knew I could not marry. I would date a woman I knew little about besides the fact she called herself a Christian. When I was dating in college I considered that the first date was good for determining whether a second was in order. Little more than that. Being at a Christian college, most people called themselves Christian and most were about my own age and most were single. Now I'm starting online ... narrowing again to eligible Christians ... of similar age and commitment. I'm not on a campus with them, so the geography is a challenge. So I talk more before ever actually meeting them. Post Reply
View Profile History	Is it wrong to tell someone you aren't attracted to them? Posted : 20 Dec, 2014 05:32 PM grrrrrrr wrote, "Many people on this site are: a)just here to fellowship with other believers b)do not have a home church, so they hang out here c)are already in a relationship but like to keep in touch with friends here d)were already successful dating in real life and decided not to date anymore for various reasons e)etc. etc." Sure.. sure. sure.. People who fall into categories A, B, C, and D need to be booted off this site ASAP. This is a dating site meant for Christian singles to find a spouse. If I was married, I would be greatly offended if my wife created an account here or kept her account active after we're married. This website is designed for singles only. A. If you just want to fellowship, then go to an online forum that is specifically designed for that purpose. B. If you do not have a home church and are married, don't hang out here. C. If you want to keep in touch with friends, go to Facebook. D. If you don't want to date anymore, then why are you here? You have no business being here. Post Reply
1mountain View Profile History	Is it wrong to tell someone you aren't attracted to them? Posted : 24 Dec, 2014 12:12 AM You dating / not dating people are arguing only because of a difference in semantics and what your definition of a 'date' is. You're like the see of India and Constantinople during and after the council of Chalcedon. Simply put, what is your idea of a date? Going somewhere and doing something and talking to the other person to get to know them? Of course. What is the difference? If you're doing it for the purposes of getting to know a friend, it's not a date it's hanging out in most people's minds. If you're doing it with the hopes that this might become a romantic relationship then in our minds it's a date. Your concept of 'dating' must involve something else that it doesn't in our minds. In mine I could 'go on a date' with a girl in another country by just setting a date for a Google video chat where we'd talk and get to know each other. If we only had becoming friends in mind though I wouldn't call it a date, I'd call it hanging out. If I went out for coffee for the first time with a gal I was interested in I'd call that a first date. If I went out for coffee for the first time with someone I wasn't interested in I'd say we hung out. I've never understood the real difference, if there is any, between how my brother got to know his future wife and the normal way. I mean seriously if you asked me I'd say he and she went on lots of dates before he started courting her. I'd call those times of 'courting' her dates too. No matter what word you'd like to use we all do the same actual acts of meeting and talking to get to know the other person. Post Reply
HoosierHomeschooler View Profile History	Is it wrong to tell someone you aren't attracted to them? Posted : 24 Dec, 2014 06:57 AM No!!!! How dare you inject sanity into such an argument? Post Reply

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