Author	Thread: Talking to multiple women??
luvinpray View Profile History	Talking to multiple women?? Posted : 7 Aug, 2014 03:47 PM Guys, I know this is online dating, so many of you might be talking to multiple women. But here is my situation. Sunday I met a guy at a singles church group. I had seen him before, but never talked to him until then. We chatted and I ended up having a bible study tuesday and he showed up. Well after the bible study he asked me if I wanted to get dinner with him. We went to a restaruant and ate, and he payed. He opened doors, and was very gentlemen like. Well Last night we went to dinner for a second time. I enjoyed the time mostly, I think he is a nice guy, but his perspective on dating is not like mine. He told me that what we were doing wasn't a date. We were just friends and getting to know each other. He also told me that he has two other lady friends he is getting to know. One he ended up meeting up with after me. (That's a whole other story..because he wants more with her but she won't commit). So I told him I'm not interested in this game he is playing. So my question is, Guys is it normal to date like this? He is not kissing girls, or hooking up with him. But he is talking to 3 different girls. Sometimes texting them at the same time, etc. IDK just seems to me like he doesn't know what he wants, and he is just enjoying the attention? He told me that I should "talk" to multiple men, just be friends and get to know them before being serious. I don't think I have it in me to do that. On the one hand I believe God will bring me my mate at the right time. (This man doesn't believe that). On the other hand I do agree you need to be more sociable and build friendships. I guess I still have a lot to learn about men. lol. Post Reply
View Profile History	Talking to multiple women?? Posted : 9 Aug, 2014 10:45 AM Travis you were privy to the same info as I was. You didnt "see" it! The writing is on the wall.. move on sister. Be selective! You are worth it!!!:bouncy: Post Reply
View Profile History	Talking to multiple women?? Posted : 9 Aug, 2014 10:56 AM Rambo you said this: It's stupid and devoid of faith in God having a plan for you. My reply to you is this. First off,you may refrain from strong labels like "stupid young man. Secondly, hanging with friends is natural and when we are sensitive to Gods spirit we let him lead. Theres nothing wrong with developing friendships and letting God lead as to whether or not there is something there for us that he has set up. It is not DEVOID OF FAITH. Saying that is like saying God moves in the same way with each of his children each and every time. Its best to not try to box God in. It simply cannot be done. A marriage should be built on friendship and [oneness] with our Lord and Savior. If she is given to doing things in groups Id venture to say that God can use that!! It certainly trumps lame online dating websites that satan uses to devour lonely wanton hearts. Post Reply
TravisjustTravis View Profile History	Talking to multiple women?? Posted : 9 Aug, 2014 01:16 PM Dear Hiddeninhimalways , It seems like you feel the need to point out people's flaws...I assure you that I was just trying to answer the young ladies question. Not everyone expresses themselves like you do (so you may not like the way someone "words" a sentence. And people understand things differently, so I do not think that it is to your benefit to point out that I or anyone else "missed it" Post Reply
View Profile History	Talking to multiple women?? Posted : 10 Aug, 2014 04:11 PM Travis it seems the pot is calling the kettle black son...:rolleyes: Post Reply
View Profile History	Talking to multiple women?? Posted : 11 Aug, 2014 11:02 AM I've made it clear on my profile that my first meet up with somebody isn't a date or something romantic, it's just to see if we can get along with each other. That's because I don't want to spend forever messaging each other until we feel we know everything about them before meeting - an hour with somebody tells you far more than a month of messaging. And as I don't consider it anything more than meeting a friend, it has no bearing on whether I can talk to others or not - though I think it was rude to do so whilst with you and I'd be offended that he wasn't willing to give you full attention for the short time you spent together. Post Reply
View Profile History	Talking to multiple women?? Posted : 16 Aug, 2014 08:06 PM Going on a date is getting to know someone. There does need to be some freedom. He shouldn't show up with another one or leave you early only to meet her. However, a relationship takes effort for anyone and some people are going to have different rules. A date is about discovering compatability. Post Reply
Javon74 View Profile History	Talking to multiple women?? Posted : 21 Aug, 2014 02:38 AM Great question;) To be honest, we serve a God of order not confusion. In my opinion dating is man-made, worldly, and such a game to most. There's nothing wrong with having friends, however when that relationship goes beyond that, that's when the dating issue occurs. The definition of dating is so so broad depending on who you ask. Some would say its's simply getting to know another along with 3 others at the sametime, others would say I'm exclusively dating one person to see where it goes. Lol, that's why I'm single, we as Christians should be peculiar and set apart. I feel like we should be courting, and if that courtship doesn't work out, perhaps it wasn't God's will and it was meant for you two to just be friends. Jesus was tempted in all points just as we are, I do not see Jesus dating while he was here, having female friends absolutely. Example (Mary & Martha). When we try and do things our way, God will sometimes allow it despite it not being his will. However it will be a royal mess and confusion, example, Israel wanted a King;) Post Reply
HoosierHomeschooler View Profile History	Talking to multiple women?? Posted : 21 Aug, 2014 03:14 PM There used to be a difference between dating and going steady. IMO, there still should be. Until a commitment of exclusivity has been made on both parts, it shouldn't be assumed. Non-exclusive dating early in a potentially romantic friendship tends to slow the relationship down, theoretically allowing both man and woman to consider, compare, and think with their heads rather than their pulse rates. Now, on a date, I consider it very bad form to be chatting with another woman (or man in the reverse case). The hour or 2 with the person on the date should be set aside for that person, unless some emergency arises. But ... I'm an old-fashioned man who still opens doors for women and insists on paying for dinner ... so take my opinion for what it's worth. Post Reply
View Profile History	Talking to multiple women?? Posted : 22 Aug, 2014 06:10 PM It's possible to be attracted to multiple women while dating, and even fall in love with more than one of them. For this reason, I think it�s much simpler to date one person at a time. If the present date isn�t working out we can politely end it and move on. Post Reply
View Profile History	Talking to multiple women?? Posted : 29 Aug, 2014 07:56 PM "is it normal to date like this? He is not kissing girls, or hooking up with him. But he is talking to 3 different girls. Sometimes texting them at the same time, etc. IDK just seems to me like he doesn't know what he wants, and he is just enjoying the attention?" I think, that's rude. He wants to get rid of you. Even if I am with friends, I avoid texting, because it's not nice. Or perhaps he hasn't made up his mind, or he is just playing. When I am talking to women, I prefer to talk to one at a time. And I am only doing this because I want to find the person God has for me. If I just wanted to have female friends only, then it would be my responsibility to make it absolutely clear up front that I am only interested being friends and nothing more. If you go on a dinner with someone knowing that he is only interested in friendship and nothing more, then that is not a date, I agree. A date is different. It's a time when you meet someone to try to figure out if you would be a good match. If he thinks you're just a friend and nothing more, then I guess, you are in the "friend zone." :-( Post Reply

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