Thread: Is Chivalry/Gentleman like behaviors dead?
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Is Chivalry/Gentleman like behaviors dead?
Posted : 4 Feb, 2014 07:31 PM
I had this discussion with a female family member and a male neighbor. I would like to know what other men from different age ranges think about this topic. I believe it to be specific to an individual, the generation, and the environment he was raised in. I would really lile to hear from single men in their late twenties to late thirties.
What motivates you to open a door for a person or specifically a lady? Your mama's teachings? Your daddy's teachings? How you feel about that person or lady, are you motivated by respect?
How protective of her are you? When you walk with her, is she closest to the nearest potential threat such as traffic or do you stand between her and someone who intimidates her?
How attentive are you to what kind of flowers or decorations she likes and give them to her as gifts?
Do you stand up for her when others verbally abuse her when she is around and especially when she is not around?
With our growing fast-paced, plugged-in society, has Chivalry been gone with the wind?
Derek Prince was a great teacher and a man amongst men. His teachings are widely respected. Another resource that may be worthwhile for you to pursue is the ministry of Noel and Phyll Gibson in Australia. Closer to you and your home a Spirit filled Pastor and intercessory team may be something you should consider as you use terminologies suggesting that you believe yourself to be "possessed". Interesting paradigm if one is a born again Christian and worth pursuing with more learned persons that I perhaps in one of the forum rooms. There is a further complication to the issue when a psychiatric consultation may be a considered option.
Chromeplatedheart also suggested a consideration and that was simply fast and pray...perhaps the better option of all...seek guidance and do it with oversight.
Still for the sake of yourself and others on this site it would be remiss of me to not submit that dating should not be a serious consideration in your life at this time.
Hello new brother in Christ! Where is your Spiritual Armor? You MUST get connected with a church with Bible believers and you MUST meet with MEN who will teach/mentor/coach you and will build you up and encourage you in the faith! (Later, I hope your view of women and your interaction with women will improve, especially as you meet Christian women who are living out God�s principals.) Where and how is the person who led you to Christ currently leading and teaching you? Are you still in contact with that person or persons? As believers we need to help carry each others� burdens! Galatians 6:2. I highly recommend reading the book, Victory Over the Darkness, by Neil T. Anderson, it will help you understand your identity in Christ and help you to let go of things from your past. I am enclosing a list at the end that has helped me.
Before I move onto other things there are some things I want you to know. In case you did not know the etymology of your name(s): �Chris, Christopher or Christian� from Latin Greek meaning �bearing Christ� also �to bear, to carry�. �Sam or Samuel� is from Hebrew meaning �God has heard�. �Samson� is from Hebrew most likely meaning �sun�. Did you know in Revelation 2:17, the Bible � God�s word says, �Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To the one who is victorious, I will give some of the hidden manna. I will also give that person a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to the one who receives it.� I Corinthians 15:54-57 elaborates: �When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: �Death has been swallowed up in victory.� �Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?� The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.� I John 5:1-5 agrees: �Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ is born of God, and everyone who loves the father loves his child as well. This is how we know that we love the children of God: by loving God and carrying out his commands. This is love for God: to obey his commands. And his commands are not burdensome, for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world? Only he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God.�
It is imperative that you know exactly where you stand with and in Christ! You said you are a new believer, so I hope that you have learned or heard of the Four Spiritual Laws or the Romans Road or Steps to Peace with God as ways to understand and recognize our sin that separates us from God and how Jesus is THE only Bridge (by the cross) to ever be with God. After this you need to understand God�s complete acceptance of you and how NOTHING can ever separate you from God! �We are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.� Romans 8:37-39 New International Version (NIV).
Please be forewarned: as Jesus said in Luke 11: 24-26, �When an evil spirit comes out of a man, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, �I will return to the house I left.� When it arrives, it finds the house swept clean and put in order. Then it goes and takes seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that man is worse than the first.� I Peter 5:8-11 says, �Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.� Therefore, you must know where you stand in Christ, have your spiritual armor on and repaired and have a support group of strong Christians to help pray for you!
You MUST be able to KNOW in your heart and mind. �I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he [Jesus] is able to guard what I have entrusted to him [your spiritual soul for eternity] for that day [when God will judge the world].) 2 Timothy 1:12. I am enclosing a list of the Romans Road at the end of this message.
You MUST put on the armor of God! Ephesians 6:10-18 � You must have Jesus fight your demons!
Helmet of Salvation � protect and know in your head!
Sword of the Spirit � which is the word of God!
The Belt of Truth � protect and know in your gut!
The Shield of Faith � to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one!
The Breastplate of Righteousness � protect and know in your heart!
Feet Prepared with the Gospel of Peace! � tell OTHERS about Jesus and how to wear their armor!
Additional Weapons:
Name of Jesus: John 14:14; Call out to Jesus to fight your demons!
Blood of Jesus: Revelations 12:11; �They� Jesus by his blood and his angels overcame Satan and demons
Cross of Jesus: Colossians 2:14-15; God forgave all sins by canceling the written law� nailed 2 cross; he disarmed all powers and authorities
Faith: Hebrews 11:6; By faith we are believing that God exists and that he rewards us
Praise: Matthew 21:16; Praise must come from our lips
Word of God: Matthew 4; Joshua 1:8; Jesus answered Satan, �It is written�; Meditate on God�s word
Prayer: Matthew 21:22; Believe, ask in prayer and Jesus will send it
Nahum 1:7 �The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him.�
Please keep these things in mind:
I Corinthians 10:13; �No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.�
Psalm 139:1-16; God made you! He knows everything about you and how to help you!
�O LORD, you have searched me and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD.
You hem me in � behind and before; you have laid your hand on me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, �Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,�
even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother�s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.�
The Romans Road to Salvation:
1.) Why we need salvation:
Romans 3:23
Romans 3:10-18
Romans 6:23a
2.) How God provided salvation:
Romans 6:23b
Romans 5:8
3.) How we can receive salvation:
Romans 10:9
Romans 10:13
4.) Results of salvation:
Ephesians Chapter One: In God�s Love, through Jesus, You are blessed, chosen, accepted, adopted, redeemed, and forgiven! Chapter 1:3-11
Ephesians 1:13-14 �And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God�s possession � to the praise of his glory.�
I John 2:5
I John 3:10
I Am Accepted:
I am a child of God John 1:12
I am Christ�s friend John 15:5
I have been justified Romans 5:1 (just-as-if-I-never-sinned)
I have been adopted as God�s child Ephesians 1:5
I have direct access to God through the Holy Spirit Ephesians 2:18
I have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins Colossians 1:14
I am complete in Christ Colossians 2:10
I am united with the Lord, and I am one spirit with Him I Corinthians 6:17
I have been bought with a price. I belong to God. I Corinthians 6:20
I am a member of Christ�s Body I Corinthians 12:27
I am a saint Ephesians 1:1b Saint by calling; does not reflect any present measure of growth in character; does identify those who are rightly related to God
I Am Secure:
I am free from condemnation Romans 8:1-2
I am assured that all things work together for good Romans 8:28
I am confident that the good work God has begun in me will be perfected Philippians 1:6
I am a citizen of heaven Philippians 3:20
I am hidden with Christ in God Colossians 3:3
I have not been given a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind II Timothy 1:7
I am born of God and the evil one cannot touch me I John 5:18
I can find grace and mercy in time of need Hebrews 4:16
I have been established, anointed and sealed by God II Corinthians 1:21-22
I am free from condemning charges against me Romans 8:31-34
I cannot be separated from the love of God Romans 8:35-39
I truly hope this helps you, brother in Christ!
blb142
P.S. Please excuse any spelling errors or spacing typos - my computer, internet and cell phone weren't coordinating, so I had to get inventive on how to post this using a different computer.
i was looking into what was wrong with the world a few years ago (was not a christian at the time) and as i looked and did my research i came across a lot of quotes from the bible but at first i ignored them. later i read them and it made sense. i never looked for Jesus. as far as i am concerned he found me and one day as i was lying on my bed thinking a spiritual thing happen, 3 men whos figure was that of light. a bright light but i was not blinded by it. they stood before me and feeling came over me (i can't describe it but it was warm and nice) but then it ended. it was so fast i could not test the spirits as it is written to do.
since then i believe in Jesus but the demons won't leave me alone. i go to a chruch but i don't think they will understand my position since its a bit of a worldly church as i understand it. its the best church i could find. but i never heard them talk about casting out demons. they do talk about the blood of Jesus and getting saved.
i lose interest and get demotivated when i feel hopeless about something. a week ago i was in the word but its been 5 days since i picked my KJV up.
funny thing about my name, i remember i looked it up in a name dictionary as a kid and could not understand why my parents named me as they did. since u are right it does mean 'the bearer of christ'. and my last name starts with sam but the whole name (which i won't write on the internet) means the son of samuel.
thanks for your time. i hope i do love women as the Lord intended someday.
Brother, my heart hurts for you. I really appreciate your vulnerability and can sense your struggle and hurts.
I want to encourage you to read your Bible and maybe try something other than the KJV like NIV, ESV, NLT, ASV, etc. They are a bit easier to read. When you are having your struggles try calling on Jesus name but also dig into the Bible and pray earnestly. Sometimes Psalms are a good start for me, especially by David, as they are a good teacher to prayer. Also if you want to get an good idea on how the spiritual warfare works read the book of Daniel. I am sorry you are tormented. I have had about a year of bad nightmares but for me it is my minds way of trying to recover from being lied to and other things. Mine are pretty much gone now and I hope and pray yours leave you as well. Sometimes healing just takes time and Jesus is the perfect healer of wounds and he loves you.
On the question of chivalry. I'm kind of a guy who puts myself out there and I sound weird but it is what it is. I believe you gotta be vulnerable so someone can get to know and hopefully love the real you but most don't and that's OK. It's who I am. So here goes.
I am 6'5, was a really good athlete and am still athletic, graduated near the top of my class for engineering in college and have an alpha personality. I have been a stay at home dad for 12 years but am currently in school and going to hopefully have a job soon, (looks promising). In my marriage I was more feminine than my wife was. I was more sensitive, empathetic and caring. When my kids are sick or hurt they want to be with me. I don't usually show much emotion but that's mostly just the way it is too. Anyway, early on in our marriage I was really good at getting doors, buying flowers, getting little and special gifts, writing cards, etc. but it was never enough. Finally I gave up on most of it. I don't think it's right to prejudge people and women don't deserve to be prejudged because of bad experiences. By nature I am a caregiver, (that's good and bad), and I hope that if God wants me to date/marry again that I can find someone who I can be a gentleman with and she will appreciate it.
I'm just speaking for Miami, Florida where I live. Most men here are absolutely rude and immature. People are moving away from South Florida because they can't stand it anymore and not surprisingly they find spouses, better jobs, better health care, in their new place that they couldn't find here.
A gentleman is not about opening a door because everybody can do that. It's just basic common sense when treating a woman.
I have had men insult me for no reason, talk down to me without knowing me and even had one guy scream in my ear as I was waiting for a friend to pick me up. These are adult men, random strangers and university students which I thought were more mature than that.
On valentine's day no girl was holding a flower, no romance, no couples holding but a couple dressed as genitals were giving out free condoms. I'm sorry but this is not my idea of romance. Sometimes I do not want to get out of my house and deal with any of this because it's all so "Twilight zone" episodes lumped together into a mess of a freak show.
We as women need some sweetness once in a while. We are not attracted to rude men, jerk behavior as men say we are.If you are so mentally disturbed as to actually insult, degrade and put down women then complain you don't have a girlfriend you know what you have to change. Just treat us with decency and have some respect then we will pay attention.
I'm just speaking for Miami, Florida where I live. Most men here are absolutely rude and immature. People are moving away from South Florida because they can't stand it anymore and not surprisingly they find spouses, better jobs, better health care, in their new place that they couldn't find here.
A gentleman is not about opening a door because everybody can do that. It's just basic common sense when treating a woman.
I have had men insult me for no reason, talk down to me without knowing me and even had one guy scream in my ear as I was waiting for a friend to pick me up. These are adult men, random strangers and university students which I thought were more mature than that.
On valentine's day no girl was holding a flower, no romance, no couples holding but a couple dressed as genitals were giving out free condoms. I'm sorry but this is not my idea of romance. Sometimes I do not want to get out of my house and deal with any of this because it's all so "Twilight zone" episodes lumped together into a mess of a freak show.
We as women need some sweetness once in a while. We are not attracted to rude men, jerk behavior as men say we are.If you are so mentally disturbed as to actually insult, degrade and put down women then complain you don't have a girlfriend you know what you have to change. Just treat us with decency and have some respect then we will pay attention.
You are right about that, yet there are many others large urban cities that do not have this problem. Both men and women are to blame for the deterioration of any and all morals. I will move soon from South Florida, no doubt about that. I noticed that some men from this site are intimidated by my location without getting to know me first....
It does not matter where you go ...the abstract will be just as evident as where you are...and you think men may be intimidated by where you live...a big wrong sorry...I read your posts and many men would be intimidated by your intellect and your ability to lay out a cogent response,perhaps not defined as intimidation but nonetheless that is what it amounts to...this reasoned thought of yours may well confuse many who just feel awed by you....anyway
