I know this might be daunting, but humor me.......
Posted : 8 Nov, 2013 07:32 AM
RE8E recently posted a thread on the "Ask A Girl" section, referring to what our roles are in "pursing".....
My question is this fellas, what do you think your role is as first initiator/purser, in and during a courtship and then ultimately as the spiritual/head of your family and household......yeah I want to hear what your opinions are guys....from start to....well "beginning"(smile)lol!!!! Be blessed!
I know this might be daunting, but humor me.......
Posted : 8 Nov, 2013 08:41 PM
Nical,
Sorry you misunderstood, but I was referring to all the guys whose profiles say they are looking for "Long Term Dating," or "Short-Term Dating," "A Date," or "Anything." It's all I have seen in here, save for a very few who say they want to marry. And, even those expect sex before marriage. It's just a fact of life.
And, of course, I was NOT referring to your mother's predicament after your father died. How could I have? I did not know. Whatever your situation when you were a child, if you'd have ever read the Bible, you would know what Ephesians 5:23 says, since I specifically referred to that verse.
Please do not read more into anything anyone says than what is written.
I know this might be daunting, but humor me.......
Posted : 9 Nov, 2013 04:51 AM
Hi Cat I didnt missunderstand you at all, of course you couldnt of known of my "predicament" i was merely tying to explain how i came to form my opinion.
And may i quote you directly.
"Then again, like a lot of the men here, you are probably not looking for marriage"
I know this might be daunting, but humor me.......
Posted : 9 Nov, 2013 05:12 AM
Hi And thank you for your kind response , I was not trying to extract any pity regarding my upbringing i had a truly wonderful childhood and did not feel disadvantaged in any way shape or form.
As i have attempted to explain to Cat my opinions are not formed by a wish to not sound chauvinist but on my experience growing up.
I know this might be daunting, but humor me.......
Posted : 9 Nov, 2013 12:17 PM
Cat
Hello my sister! How's it with you?
When saying, "In my opinion, if a man is truly Christian he would seek marriage-the only place where true love can freely exist between a man and a woman. The bible clearly states that, outside of marriage, sexual relations are a SIN"
I'm reminded of a question i've asked a while ago to guys, the question was: How long is a long term relationship? Since 'sex stands to be practiced in long term relationships now that these fellows are attracted to each ather, how then do 'we/they' deal with the package that comes along with after effects of being in a long term relationship without progress?
I then asked further questions,
Since we ladies especially turn to feel angry and bitter of time waisted in worthless relationships, (its not a general statement dear) how can we find out what are the guys' intentions by bringing us into their lives, without reflecting pressure to marry us?
How can a lady initiate this conversation without the brother withholding information from the lady, cause the main idea is clarity on both parties in early days (say maybe in about 6-12months you should know weither its worth taking things to the next level or not)
How can we prevent time waisting in long term relationships were by in 3months after a little misunderstanding or breaking up, the lady hears that... The guy in commiting to someone else. And there's kids in the picture to consider by then. Which is the main roots of anger and bitterness?
I know this might be daunting, but humor me.......
Posted : 9 Nov, 2013 05:30 PM
Sissy
Have missed your regular postings. If I may jump into your question to Cat (forgive me Cat i'm not trying to step on your toes). Sex is only within A God designed marriage of one man and one woman. The term "long term relationship" is subjective to anyone's personal feelings if we are only earthly minded. If we are Heaven minded then we see a "long term relationship" as one that stretches through all eternity and understand that our actions carry an eternal responsibility. If we understand that, and our place in God's Heavenly Kingdom, then we will consider sex outside of God's designed marriage to be extremely odious.
Sharing the Gospel is asking someone to enter into a long term relationship with Jesus and us (should we be saved) if we understand "long term relationships" it in this light. r
I know this might be daunting, but humor me.......
Posted : 9 Nov, 2013 06:18 PM
......a "long term relationship" with that special someone, thru and in Christ Jesus.....what more could we possibly ask for in this life and/or beyond? Thank you 1jon310 for that illumination!
And sorry Sisygirl and Cat.....I just couldn't help myself!
I know this might be daunting, but humor me.......
Posted : 9 Nov, 2013 07:42 PM
John
Hello to you dear brother!
Its been a hectic week the previous one, won't get any better from now moving forth. I haven't been on this site as often as ather days. And yes dear, i've intentionally keep to my self with your ather post about 'womans' ideal of a gentleman' I wanted to hear what ather ladies requirements are, so I can massure them with mine and see if my requirements are realistic and possible to reach or not. I thought my list of required must have in a man was too long, its about 7lines/sentances. After seeing what my sisters have posted, think i'm still on track.
Coming back to my main reply to Cat. Yes my brother I know and fully agree that sex before or outside marriage is sinful before God and that makes it sinful to us too cause He's given us He's word to abide by, HOWEVER i'm more keen on the practical side of things. There's so many things that God forbid us from doing, yet we do them anyway until one sees a need of repentance (which is not easy and impossible without Christ' help)
The fact here friend is that young people are sexually active, knowing too well that we shouldn't be (i'm not being general here but rather looking at the reality of this.) There's a long conversation i've had with Teach on a forum of 'Suggesting new topics' where we spoken about the nature of our being 'sinful beings' who are new borns in Christ. How then do we adapt from the former kind of a life style when we sinned without any guilt, cause we were sinners anyway.... To the resent kind of life style when now living for Christ who teaches us what to do and what not to do?
That was when Teach spoken of substitution. Finding right activities to replace wrong ones with.
Then what is the reason of caurtship/dating if one doesn't wanna get married? Remember you are attracted to this person (not necessarily lustful) hense self control is practiced. Though to what level since fellows who are in long term relationships end up having kids in the very body of Christ outside marriage?
It still takes me to my main question: how long is long term relation? Why must you even open a hole to the possibility of having sex outside marriage? Why date if the intention is not getting married? With time you gonna want to partake in previlages of fellows are rightfully in love according to God's side.
Don't get me wrong John please.... By saying that, "You're looking for your possible wife here" doesn't mean any ather woman that you meet and interact with is gonna be the one, but it shows that you're relevent. You're in a Christian dating site.... Seeking love with a christian lady who abide by your God's word of conduct, desirering to get married ofcause and have a relationship that is legally approved and recognized by God.
I wonder if I made any sense John?
Young people are practicing sex anyway, why don't we just do the right thing work on getting married, even if its at the later stage but have that altimate goal.... Or keep away from relationships altogether to avoid falling into sin.
I know this might be daunting, but humor me.......
Posted : 9 Nov, 2013 07:59 PM
Joy
Its ok darling sis,
You're the main reason we're having this conversation, if you hadn't initiated, we wouldn't have been talking about this. Its your post, you're more than welcome to turn it around and interfere as you wish.
I know this might be daunting, but humor me.......
Posted : 10 Nov, 2013 10:31 PM
I don't think it matters who is doing the pursuing. There is no Biblical precedent for it.
Also, please note that the Bible does not say that the man is to be the "spiritual" leader in the home. He is the head of the wife. That is, he is the one who is responsible for direction. The body follows the head, goes where it is directed, sees what the head is pointed at and so forth, so the man is responsible for giving direction for the wife as Christ gives direction for those who are called out. This is not the same thing as spiritual leadership.
I know this might be daunting, but humor me.......
Posted : 20 Nov, 2013 11:21 AM
Is the dog that is chasing the car the leader in the situation? Even if said dog catches said car the dog still won't be the one making the choices.
It does not matter who starts what, as long as my future wife does not propose to me on her one knee and then carry me over the threshold I'll probably lead when I'm supposed to lead anyway, but then again I'm genetically stubborn anyway.
