I feel this needs to be said and it applies to women as well
1. There's always someone better than you currently have for a mate,there's also someone better than you. The moment you drop someone for a better person, another even better person will come by and prove you wrong. Honestly tell me, are you going to be constantly breaking up with every woman as soon as a prettier face/better personality comes by? If that is your case, you should not even be dating but judging miss universe at beauty competitions!
2. The woman god has for you may not be the whole combo you desire: Lots of men think that because they are christian who follow god's word they should be "rewarded" with a wonderful beautiful woman with money, minimal problems and zero drama, well you are in for a surprise. They seldomly think their mate may even have a small disability, Oh no they should get flawless woman because god is good!
But god is also thinking of the less than perfect woman happiness and watching out for them.He gives these women with a less than ideal life a chance to meet a man that would prove to be a real man of god accepting and helping her, both towards a better relationship with H.I.M as the center of everything. Perfection as known in the secular world of dating is an oxymoron and bound to leave you single for a long time, frustrated and caught up in a web of lies regarding "The one" which by the way does not exist because sin corrupts everything.
3. Stop putting all women in the same category just because a few hurted you, stop generalizing, stop looking at us for all your faults. There are many good woman out there, totally overlooked because the bad ones seem to run all over the place, change your course, change your routine, ask someone out who you will never think of asking out, have passion in your life instead of waiting for it.
4. Give people a chance, don't stop emailing because she doesn't like hiking or singing or writing or whatever as much as you do,we are not looking for our "twins" here but someone to compliment us to serve god, get it right.
5. Passivity invites passivity, a lack of dates, a lack of everything. Waiting for a chance encounter to get you going for dates is the worst recipe to get a date. Why do American men walk around not looking at women in the eye? I have a hard time believing this has to do with any harassment laws, I think our society has failed to have friendly places for men and women to really get to each other without the dumb bar scenario.
Think about it, people go to church to pray, worship god, people go to restaurants to eat, people go to the movies to sit in front of a screen, to school to learn, to the work place to work and walking in the streets to go to any of these places without any disturbance, where then are you supposed to meet people? Our society has failed to provide friendly meeting places for men and women to hang out without distractions and everyone is paying. That is all!
So the communication flows until you mention that you have a mental sickness?
Have you tried keeping this to your self until after the first date or few more dates, so there's a stronger bond between you and the lady before telling her this? Let her see your ather good side cause there's surely more in you than being sick dear brother
Forgive me if I am wrong but this sounds like the inquirer of this post has had more than enough bad experiences with men who were not good Christian men.
I personally don't like to generalize like that because I have had my failed relationships in which the woman acted the same as many others but I do not think that all women are like the last one.
I think the problem at the core is that as humans, we do not have the patience to get to know someone before we give our heart away. It can take any amount of time depending on the couple but that time must be traversed before an emotional attachment of the heart.
I used to fall in love way too easy only to find out that the woman was someone I did not really know well enough but made the mistake of being the knight in shining armor who could make anything work. This is so wrong.
No one needs to meet a project but someone who is faithfully seeking to be more Christ-like while I am doing the same thing and never losing focus on our first love. As soon as we do and put Jesus in the back seat....bad things happen.
Seek first the Kingdom of God and the right mate will become around and the bond between two people seeking God first and then their own hearts will have an exponentially better chance of making a relationship work.
