Author	Thread: For those who have been married before...can we remarry?
Presidence View Profile History	For those who have been married before...can we remarry? Posted : 25 Jul, 2013 11:49 AM Under which circumstances/conditions are you willing as a Christian to marry someone who is divorced? A curious question since so many are truthfully coming from a failed marriage, marriages or situations where someone should have never married to begin with. I won't quote Scripture but I will state some possible circumstances, mental abuse, physical abuse, spiritual abuse, infidelity, pornography, financially abusive, medically abusive or abandonment in any or all areas covered here. The list is endless and as Christians one to another, what is your guideline here? I am curious because I've seen some profiles state you can not be divorced to contact which is a preference but what do you say? Post Reply
algomaboy View Profile History	For those who have been married before...can we remarry? Posted : 28 Jul, 2013 04:50 PM Do you know that an abused and abuser are one in the same. Since you were abused do you understand and know how you abuse people? hogwash- this is not true. As a Christian I could never support this lie. The victim is innocent and not the abuser. they can choose not to do the same. Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	For those who have been married before...can we remarry? Posted : 29 Jul, 2013 06:03 AM It's definitely a rough subject, and forgiveness is definitely involved, but the bible is pretty clear that the only grounds for "divorce" are death and adultery. Abuse is not mentioned, so you may consider it a grey area. However, I do not think that God just intends for women to live in a dangerous situation. Women belong to God, not to any man, and they have to consider God's intentions and purposes for them before they let their husband destroy their mind/body. I would say that the safest course would be to just "separate" from an abusive spouse and remain celibate. Matthew 19:3-12 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, �Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?� �Haven�t you read,� he replied, �that at the beginning the Creator �made them male and female,� and said, �For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh�? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.� �Why then,� they asked, �did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?� Jesus replied, �Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.� The disciples said to him, �If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.� Jesus replied, �Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others�and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.� 1 Corinthians 7:10-15 But for those who are married, I have a command that comes not from me, but from the Lord. A wife must not leave her husband. But if she does leave him, let her remain single or else be reconciled to him. And the husband must not leave his wife. :peace::peace: Post Reply
View Profile History	For those who have been married before...can we remarry? Posted : 31 Jul, 2013 11:33 AM No-one needs to stay in an abusive marriage - God doesn't require that - however He will only recognise divorce due to adultery so you're still classed as married if you leave for any other reason, and therefore ineligible to remarry regardless of what man's law may say. Having said that, I fully expect some people will separate in order to tempt the other to commit adultery in the belief they are then free to do as they like. I don't believe God likes that kind of behaviour either as we shouldn't be causing our brothers and sisters to stumble, despite what we may think of them. I suppose the most sensible thing to do is not marry in haste and not until you really know the other person. Post Reply
teach_ib View Profile History	For those who have been married before...can we remarry? Posted : 31 Jul, 2013 12:23 PM There are many reasons someone might divorce: physical and verbal abuse, malicious neglect, being married to an unbeliever, marital unfaithfulness... Deuteronomy 24:1-4 1 When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house.� 2 And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife.� 3 And if the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth it in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, which took her to be his wife;� 4 Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before the Lord: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the Lord thy God giveth thee for an inheritance. 1 Corinthians 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.� 16 For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife? ******** Often the believing spouse leaves the abuser/sinner because of the lifestyle...or insists the abuser/sinner leaves the home. �This starts as a separation for protection...not to provoke the other to sin as they already are sinning. �Then, the abuser/sinner files for divorce. �Sometimes the believer must file to be protected from continued abuse. 1 Corinthians 7:15 says the believer is not under bondage (required to say in the marriage) if the unbeliever departs (I believe this would also hold true for the believer getting out of the unbearable situation). �The intent could be to make the other person to get their act together and allow reconciliation. �The abusive or cheating spouse doesn't always want reconciliation and therefore causes the marriage to be terminated. The believing spouse who is the victim of the sin or covenant breaking (there is more to the covenant/oath of marriage than just faithfulness) is free to marry. *********** 1 Corinthians 7:27 Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.� 28 But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you. BUT AND IF thou marry, thou hast NOT sinned... Post Reply
View Profile History	For those who have been married before...can we remarry? Posted : 31 Jul, 2013 05:47 PM "BUT AND IF thou marry, thou hast NOT sinned... " Yes, only in the context of a husband ( man) who is loosed from his wife. So the question is what is being loosed since it is a command to wives that if they depart from their husbands to remain unmarried or be reconcilled to their husbands. So is a wife that departs making a husband lossed. No it is not. Because a mature christian man who has a wife who departs has to be available for her to reconcile, right? Post Reply
teach_ib View Profile History	For those who have been married before...can we remarry? Posted : 31 Jul, 2013 06:37 PM Your assumption is a 'mature Christian man'. Deuteronomy is clear that a woman can remarry. God does not have separate rules for men and women. If everyone was a Christian, a mature Christian, then marriages wouldn't be troubled...but we aren't dealing with all Christians or mature Christians. In fact some non-Christian marriages seem to be better or last longer than Christian marriage I'm thankful I serve a loving, forgiving God that realized we would face trials and temptations and would even fail at serving Him. I pray that those of you who seem to be condescending to those who have faced the difficult reality of an unreconciable marriage never have to...it is devastating and many religious people make it even more difficult as they look at you as if you are a leper. Thank God for the Christian leaders who help with the healing and the ability to move forward. Post Reply
View Profile History	For those who have been married before...can we remarry? Posted : 1 Aug, 2013 11:48 AM I wouldn't go quoting Deut. for divorce advice: remember Jesus's words on this - Moses permitted you divorce because your hearts were hard but I tell you that anyone who divorces except because of unfaithfulness... I'll say it again; you don't have to stay in an abusive relationship and I don't believe God will punish those who leave, but equally I don't believe they're free to remarry either. Post Reply
teach_ib View Profile History	For those who have been married before...can we remarry? Posted : 1 Aug, 2013 07:39 PM I use the entire Bible when doing research on a topic. Jesus referenced these verses...not quoting them as He did others...but I believe this is what he was referencing. If you study the meaning of adultery/fornication, there are a number of issues covered by it. And 1 Corinthians 7 is clear to those who really study it that remarriage is an option. If you chose not to consider someone who is divorced, that is your choice. And if someone is divorced and believe they cannot remarry that is their choice. BUT AND IF they remarry based on 1 adultery/fornication or the non-Christian spouse departs...they have not sinned. Post Reply
teach_ib View Profile History	For those who have been married before...can we remarry? Posted : 1 Aug, 2013 07:40 PM I use the entire Bible when doing research on a topic. Jesus referenced these verses...not quoting them as He did others...but I believe this is what he was referencing. If you study the meaning of adultery/fornication, there are a number of issues covered by it. And 1 Corinthians 7 is clear to those who really study it that remarriage is an option. If you chose not to consider someone who is divorced, that is your choice. And if someone is divorced and believe they cannot remarry that is their choice. BUT AND IF they remarry based on 1 adultery/fornication or the non-Christian spouse departs...they have not sinned. Post Reply
hubbarddebra99 View Profile History	For those who have been married before...can we remarry? Posted : 12 Aug, 2013 01:43 PM Think long, hard, and prayerfully BEFORE you get married! Post Reply

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