Author Thread: Should some people not be trying to date??
Sparkley1000

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Should some people not be trying to date??
Posted : 18 Jul, 2013 08:59 PM

Not sure where this should be posted so kind of guessing.

After my husband and I split started having some weird flashbacks... nothing physically invasive ......yet.. but certainly filled with intimidation (sp?), fear, and shame. Some explain some of the issues for which my husband left me. I am unsure what other memories are still buried and frankly am afraid to find out. At first I felt it was expected to remarry... now I feel that its unfair to ask or expect anyone to deal with all of it. Esp as I dont know what is unknown or if I can actually get past it and be even moderatly normal.

At the same time Im a little hurt that I wasnt good enough to stay with no matter what (He did wait till he didnt need me to take care of the kids and his parents). I do know how important physical intimacy is... and Ive heard "God can heal you if...." thing for too long. Would be nice to be wanted weather I could "perform" or not... but have seen that it is unrealistic. Should broken people like me just refrain from the dating/social world??

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Sparkley1000

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Should some people not be trying to date??
Posted : 24 Jul, 2013 12:00 AM

Thank You Tami for reaching out.

The marriage wasnt the cause.. however it was affected heavily even though I didnt know why at the time. The message I got from that though was that there seems to be no place for broken people (even those that can or are healing) in relationships and marriage... and my time in the single world has nearly cemented that view.

I do however have a tiny hope that I can be accepted for being just me ... no matter how this plays out for me. As I have been raised to trust in God... I suppose I will have to trust that he will show me someone to walk the healing path with me. If not.. then I am still ok.



God Bless

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Sparkley1000

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Should some people not be trying to date??
Posted : 24 Jul, 2013 11:33 PM

letthismind2 thanks for sharing your experience and for your service to others.. tis truly remarkable. I will try to keep your message in mind as I decided how to procede with my journey.

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sisygirl

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Should some people not be trying to date??
Posted : 25 Jul, 2013 02:22 AM

Great wishes to you dear through your path of healing!



Much blessings to you

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Should some people not be trying to date??
Posted : 28 Jul, 2013 11:12 AM

I love your soft spirit.I think if any man or women claim to be perfect, then they are living in a lie.We all carry some baggage.In a perfect world, that would be our ultimate desire but God is in the business of continuous healing until we leave this earth.I believe as you trust God and keep your focus on Him alone, He in turn will grant you the desire of your heart.I believe our singleness is an opportunity to serve God and for God to prepare us to be wives that God desires us to be.Do not be discouraged,sister.It is well.Should we let past experiences, disappointment or hurt direct,the promises has for us...NO!!!continue to call those things that are not as if they were.One day, God will give you someone who excepts you for who you are and love you for it.The question is do you except who God has made you to be.God says"you are beautifully and wonderfully made"Sister, that settles it.Any other opinion is irrelevant.Forgive me for the long message but l am passionate for christians to know their identity in Christ, otherwise we lose the battle.



Sister in Christ.

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Should some people not be trying to date??
Posted : 28 Jul, 2013 04:14 PM

Tamie405, " He in turn will grant you the desire of your heart."



What if the desire of mans heart is murder? Would He grant it then? I though that scripture taught that our hearts were decietful and who could know them?



Is it our hearts that detemine Gods will?

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Should some people not be trying to date??
Posted : 29 Jul, 2013 07:29 PM

Greetings



So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.When you are walking in the Spirit of God,you desire,what the Lord desires for you in your life.That is why,the bible teaches us to "seek first the Kingdom"If one is a believer, they should be able to discern weather,what they desire is in alignment with what God purposes for their life.A follower of Christ has the wisdom which God gives gives to discern that which desire is of the or the flesh and that which is of the Spirit.The answer is simple, we ask God,"Lord is my desire in line with your purpose for my life or in agreement with your word..To answer your question, as a believer, l do not seek anything which is contrary to His word.That should be a clue.If God says murder,lust is ungodly, why would l desire the above if l am walking in the spirit.I pray God will continue to expose and cleanse our hearts and we will desire His will for us as we continue to walk in His willl.



A good day to you sir.

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Apostelle

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Should some people not be trying to date??
Posted : 30 Jul, 2013 10:04 PM

There is no wound that God can not heal.

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bythec

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Should some people not be trying to date??
Posted : 2 Aug, 2013 10:02 PM

Some of the symptoms you describe are features of PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) which does occur in spousal abandonment situations. Our minds often take as long as they need to process what has happened in our life that is so stressful. Talking to a pastor or counselor helps to process those feelings. It is good to be well on the road to healing before getting into another relationship. You are looking for a partner, not a fix for your emotions or a diversion from them.

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Sparkley1000

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Should some people not be trying to date??
Posted : 2 Sep, 2013 12:41 AM

Thank You!!

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