Friend I first need to apologize for interfering with mans' topics. It has been obvious that i'm interested in your openions, likewise with questions that you have to ask, I always find myself having something to say
Weither be i'm wrong or right in my replies, when sharing your view on the posted question,
I know i'll have something to take with...
I'll post my view in a different forum so I don't interfere with what guys have to say, since the question was not meant for ladies (hope you don't mind me writing back on your recent question)
Is divorce of Christ or Anti-christ?
In my little mind divorce is surely of anti-christ.
As always I may qoate passages that may seem erelevent, hope it will all come together to the point i'm trying to raise.
In Genesis when God created man He said "LET US make man in our own image" (please bear in mind that He was in unity with someone)
In Genesis 11 (the passage about those who built a tower to heaven) in verse 1, "Now the whole earth had one language and one speech. 3, They said to one onother "come let us make bricks and bake them thoroughly" 4, Come let us build ourselves a city, and a tower whose top is in heavens...." 5, But the Lord came down to see the city and the tower which the sons of men had built. 6, And the Lord said "Indeed the people are one and they all have one language, and this is what they begin to do, now nothing that they propose to do will be withheld from them."
One last more to qoate
Ecclesiastes 4: 9 (the passage about the value of a friend)
Verse 1, "Two are better than one.... 10, For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.... 11,...Again if two lie down together, they will keep warm,.... 12, Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him.
If anyone knows better about the power of unity, its the devil himself. For this very reason he was cast down with the multitude of angels which are demons today. Hense he does anything & everything to cause divorce in families. he knows that when devided, we won't be able to stand against him.
Hebrews 3:13 (passage about the power of unity)
....but exhort/encourage one another daily, while it is called today, lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin."
When devided our sinfull hearts are our worst threat, for deceiption easly takes place, unlike if there was this other part with a sober mind to help the other part.
And again there's no church without family. We are parts of Christ' body through families.
Replying to Purpose of marriege 1 (About leadership and helper)
"In our leadership/helper role as man & woman we find purpose & satisfaction in this activity of communicating. If our communication is honest, understanding & unreactive...."
Yes I fully agree.
None of these list of activities (refering to your whole posts till the last one) will successfully take place without communicating. There's no relationship without communication. A great leader consults. Keeping in mind that there's nothing & no one to lead without your followers, so their openions & views should be of greater importance to you.
That's when the female part/follower should express her thoughts & feelings so that when a final decision is made by the leader, both parties are in agreement with one. Therefore there's a flow in the relationship when both parties are persuing their gender parts. Activities & responsibilities are gonna be done in unity & support for one onother if communication is mastered.
There's danger in a relationship if a leader abuses he's part & authority in calling the shorts. It take a far matured man to lead a family, and he can only get this done right if he, himself submits to God as expected. It took David to submit & serve to Saul for him to be molded & nurtured to be the very best leader approved by God. He was sensitive of other peolpe's feelings since he knew better how it was like to submit through hardship.
And again the bible says two heads are better than one. Matters are always better delt with when communication takes place. That's when ideas come forth in how to go about dealing with a certain issue, unlike if one always dwells in he's/her narrow mind.
"We tend to go into marriege with a thought in our mind of changing the next part..." This on is very true & it doesn't work but rather puts a strain on the one who battles to change the other part. I mean think about it, even God respects us for the person that we choose to be. He only changes a willing servant that gonna coperate with Him during the process of transformation (since one will have responsibilities to persue)
He can only go as far as warning us for the path that we choose to take weither be we chose life or death, But He still respects our decisions & the person that we chose to be. SO how can onother human even attempts to change onother part.
Leah failed to master this one when reading the book of Genesis about Jacob chosing a wife. Leah was never loved while trying very hard to change Jacob into loving her. She gave as much babies to Jacob, each time falling pregnant, she was hoping that maybe this time around he'll love me. Untill she eventually died, never did she experience Jocob's love. Only God can change a person if that person is willing at all.
Will make more time to write back to you on your other posts.
Purpose of marriege2 (About nakedness & being unashamed)
You're more than welcomed dear to correct me if i'm misunderstand you.
What i'm understanding about reading your post about nakedness is quite crucial & very sensitive. This one is weigh more than the physical part of nakedness, it goes beyond that, reaching to the spirit.
Acceptance is not always gauranteed after one had revealed he's/her nakedness. So i'm assuming it must be taking a lot of guts for one to risk such exposure. What came in mind as reading this post was Jesus (being the only perfect example.)
Often times when told about Jesus, We refer to He's nakeness & shame. We often talk about how humiliated He was, stripped, exposed & wounded to a point of death. This makes it harder for one to accept Him, and we (He's workmans') on the other side we'd rather preach about the humiliation of the cross (which is foolishness to those who are perishing)
So that when souls accept Him, they do so after being told about He's worst shame. Its only then true acceptance takes place, often times its usually rejection. Hense He's often rejected. (we don't speak of He's shame to keep souls from accepting him by the way).
Married couples spend years together without this activity taking place I think, cause there's a lot at risk. Hense people go to Therapist & confide to them without the other part knowing about this.
Will try make time again to write back about the 3rd purpose (in how I understand it) please do correct if I'm getting you wrong.
Purpose number3 of marriege (the leaving & cleaving)
I really need your help in understanding this line "Adam & Eve were called to leave father God & cleave to each other"
Nonetheless
This one is often made complicated (when its actually not.) The leaving & cleaving is very tough for males/man and their mothers. Its more like the mother has forgotten that she has concieved & raised someone elses' husbend. Mothers find it very hard to let go of their male child,
While its very easy when coming to a girl. With us girls we're constantly reminded that we belong else where. This reflact in every little error done, for example when dishes are not washed when expected, comments like "Is this how you gonna be carrying on in your marriege? You gonna humiliate us"
When coming home late (if still living with parents) you get responds like "Only in your house will you get home this late, not in my house" (mothers often speak like that)
This shows that a girl is already released in their system. But when coming to a boy its quiet different. If a girl is having interntions of persuing a relationship with a boy, warnings like "you'll have to get through the mother first" keep coming forth. Its just harder for a man to be released to cleave with someone else.
When saying "I believe parents if they do their jobs righteously then they begin to prepare their children from early on t be self sufficient" I support this statement. The sooner kids are groamed to be indipendant, (both sexes') the better. They'll be less hassles when one has to leave parents to cleave to the chosen partner.
On this one I deviated completely from what you've posted, I only shared my observation of this with day to day experiences. How the leaving of parents is more focused on a girl, and harder on the boy when he's supposed to be released to cleave with he's chosen partner.
(Hope there's little sense on my post in this one)
That's the very reason we're having this conversation. On this one I have a question for you, in how should we go about preventing the continuation of this.
In one of your previous replies to a question that was ask by a guy here, in your answer to him (can't even recall what was he's question) you said "its a mans' place to protect he's partner from he's physical lustfulness" that was a loaded statement since I still remember it (though i'm qoating it out of context right now)
When there's new love
There's always excitement. You find that there's lots of emotions taking place in ones body, while the existance of this new part is being catered for in ones system. A desire to meet (being intimate) comes forth also. If both parties are not very careful & desciplened, most likely they will have sex OR rush into marriege so they are able to have it without guilt.
Those are important words of warning when saying "The foundation will determine the end result of that marriege/relationship"
How do we protect one onother from each others' lustfulness when excited & celebrating the existance of a partner that has been found.
Thank you so much for opening up about your previous marriege. Such reasons are why we having this topic right now.
Addition/continuation of Marriege purpose3 (About leaving & cleaving)
Don't know why friend did I hesitate sharing the following information with you. This sentance is somehow registered in my mind, keep thinking about it, when saying "I believe parents if they do their job righteously then they begin to prepare their children from early on to be self sufficient"
First time seeing this sentance I thought of Eli & he's sons' how God was displeased about how he raised he's sons'
Though this is a different subject all together (maybe that's why I hesitate saying this)
Marriege is a big deal I suppose, there's so much at steack, when we're only concerned about fleshly desires being met, forgetting serious issues to set our minds on when considering to marry. This particular activity of marriege is more important as far as I can think, cause not only children will account for failing to be responsible BUT parents too if failed to do their part right.
This subject touches mothers & sons' more than fathers & daughters (as far as I can observe.) Correct me please dear if i'm wrong but mothers are often too attached to their sons, to a point of being a stumbling block when the son must be released. At times you can just see that no girl/woman will be good enough according to the mother.
Allow me to share this with you please:
In onother dating website that i'm registered with, my very first one (its not a Christian dating site though) I met a 32year divorced guy. We communicated often that i'd expect something from him daily (suppose was only enjoying the attention I was getting at that time.) I always knew that I had no internations of furthering a personal with him or anyone else for that matter. I enjoy chatt rooms if there's something sensefull discussed.
Nonetheless, he suggested that we meet. I wondered if it was worth the effort, though since I enjoyed he's company I agree to meet him (intimidated a little if i'll maybe fall inlove when I least wanted) I liked him, we understood each other in most conversation.
The problem in meeting was when he wanted to take me to he's mum's place. I disagreed since i've never spend time with him. Was just a bad idea to me. I wanted to spend time with him in a public decent place over a meal, not meeting family just yet.
What I picked up as he convinced me to come with to he's mum's was that "I can't carry on with you if she disapproves you" I somehow senced a low sense of indipendancy. As if he can't decide on he's own without the mother's openion & approval. Let alone the issue of safety to be considered also.
The leaving & cleaving is one of the great issues to be addressed about marriege. Thank you so much for bringing this forth.
I wounder if the wars of my country have proved to create the downfall of my country. You see prolonged war takes men away from families.
Fathers who love their daughters and nurture them in leading them in their own weakness. Fathers who lead their daughters in processing their emotion. Teaching them how to mannage the wilds of a young mans physicality.
Fathers who train up their sons to view girls in the eyes of love and not lust. Who example unconditional love to their sons by loving their mother. Who train boys how to mannage their physical energies by exercising in a sport.
Husbands who love their wives and remind them that they are raising a son to be a man and leave and cleave to his wife. So that their son can express the same level of leadership to his wife and children our grandchildren.
When men are involved and lead according to Godly principles then society will heal.
If my people who are calle dby my name will humble their selves and pray and turn from their wicked ways. Then.........I will hear from heaven, forgive their sins and heal their lands.
We men need to repent!
So how does a young lady who has not had a good male example find self controll? The same way that a young male who did not have a good example found it.
Change rolemodles. Forsake the father of ones youth that has forsaken us and persure after the Heavnely father. Persue Heavenly father through repentence and receiving forgiveness for our past sins.
The answer is that the power is not of us but of Christ through repentence and redemption. You see when genuine repentence occurs in the heart of a individual and this individual comes into agreement with God over His hatred of the sin. It makes it easy to forsake the sin, why?
Because Christs yoke is easy and His burden is light. It is when we try to do it on our own that the burden becomes heavy.
What you should look for when looking for a man is the fruit of repentence. Forget about the title christian. Like the thief on the cross who was also critical towards Jesus and mocking Christ.
What happened to his mocking? He repented and in repentence sinful actions cease. The fruit of repentence and godly maturity is the turning of our actions towards godly actions by the power of Christs shed blood and the love of God.
The problem with the church is we either have far to many inmature christians who dont know how to repent yet or false christians who use the grace of God as a excuse to sin.
Either way it is your responsibility to understand what to look for and follow when choosing a mate. I am glad to assist you in this beloved. That is why I have remained here even after finding my mate over two years ago.
We have to start calling oneanother to repentence and it begins at home with those closest to us. We need to be people who are repentent and sorry for our actions and genuinly desire for change in our own lives.
