Have a question for you guys, just don't know how to ask...
Please take no offense, I believe that a chatt room is a place of interacting & getting other peoples' views on certain questions.
"What does she do for living?"
I often hear this question asked by guys when being told about a lady that can be a possible match (if a guy's being hooked up with a lady by he's friend)
This question has got me wondering why of all basic questions a guy can ask about a lady, he'd ask this one...? Sounds more like someone whose checking if he'll be secured.
To top it all... I'm often warned by elderly ladies (grown mothers) in the church when checking if i'm in the relationship yet, they warn me not to go for a paster. Saying i'll be embracing povaty.
First time when I heard this, didn't know how to take it, got me disturbed a little, but few months later I noted most fellows in Christ ask that common question when talking about girls. Their interest in them is more on what hey have & what they do for living.
I'm not accusing you guys of this question, since I don't even know questions & requiremens that you're looking in the woman. I'm only hoping that maybe someone can help me understand why especially this question is asked as a top question in the list. Its more like if she does well (being successful in terms of material) everything else matters not.
This takes me back to the warnings of keeping away from pasters & fellows who are called (who come across unwilling to earn living but rather being worked for by the ladies)
Hope my question makes sense to you guys, didn't know how else to ask you
Oh, based on the last paragraph you wrote, I think I have a better idea of what the situation is and what you're asking now. It sounds like they may have good intentions, but that's not good enough if you aren't certain of whether or not they are willing and able to carry them out and follow through. I think it'd be good to support and encourage them in their pursuit of what they feel called to do, but otherwise don't be more than just friends until you see and are satisfied with the fruit they actually bear and how true they really are to that calling. A tree is judged by it's fruit. If it says it's an apple tree, but it grows oranges guess what? It's really an orange tree. And if it's an orange tree, but doesn't grow oranges, then it's not a very good orange tree. Unfortunately, I can't remember where I heard that. But, the point is to simply be mindful of and take into great consideration what they say they'll do vs. what they actually do and maybe even hold them accountable.
However there are daily needs to be met. Jesus did woodwork for living, that wasn't a fancy kind of job then & even now. The point is He earned He's bread.
How can one be a blessing in community, when not shining your light in your small family?
Believe me sir I understand what you meant, it made perfect sense to me. Of all guys here you one person I look forth reading he's answers, I even emailed you in my early days in forum telling you how wisdom filled are your answers.
You made me understand somethings that I never would have understand about guys if we didn't have this topic.
What you are missing from my pesistance about this topic, is that: you guys have no idea how this impact in families, in your wifes & kids. I recall several times I was humiliated when growing as a little girl. My father is/was a poster. He did nothing for living but but doing well in he's ministry till this very day.
I would go to school without having decent Shoes & uniform. I'd stuve during hours & fail cause I wouldn't consantrate. My teach would ask me over & over in class, infront of other kids "why haven't I been paid school fees?" she'd carry on... "your father's God why won't He provide him money to pay for the fees since he does God's work"
I grew up bitter that God called my father to ministry when he had family to provide for. I never thought i'l be saved one day & even love God.
Its only now I understand that I was never God's fault from the first place.
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I am so sorry to hear. I too was a ridicule of our neighborhood due to menal illness of my mother.
Do you know the scripture qualifies a minister in this way first. That he must take care of his own house first.
This is the sad thing about those men who fail in leadership of their families and try finding sucess in leadership in ministry.
They can appear good and holy before strangers but in reality they are not because they are not providing for those closest to them.
A real mans first work and responsibility is to his wife and children.
The scripture tells us believers that this is how the world know that we are His deciples....by the love we have for oneanother.
What your teacher was saying and revealing is the love your father was expressing was fradulant. Unbelievers will not hear us if we first do not show love to those around us and also to them through respect.
I find so many christians do not know how to respect others even of our own faith. This is a problem.
Somehow the leadership we are under is failing to express the heart and mind of God in a practical way that we as believer might follow and show forth to the world Gods love.
That is why I have abandoned following men and gave my life to learning Jesus. The wisdom I proclaim is my deep desire to learn and follow the life of Jesus or example.
Listening to His words and watching His interactions with people. Praying and asking Him for wisdom because He tells us that if we ask He gives.
But churchs set up their rules and seek to dictate the doctrines of men.
When God tells us well done good and faithful servant is not for our good works but for the reason that we learned Jesus.
These men with "callings" are to be avoided at all costs, especially if they use their so called calling to avoid work.
Matthew was a tax collector. God called him.
Peter was a fisherman. God called him
We all know what Paul (Saul) did until God called him.
Bottom line is - all these mighty men of God, actually worked - some even continued to work irregardless of their status or calling in the body of Christ.
Some guys want to be pastors etc basically because they love the thought of living off the congregation tithing. A man should work (provided there is a job available and they are physically and mentally capable to do so) and whilst believing you have a calling is a good thing, working should always be number one priority to a man.
You will not find anyone in the Bible who sat around and not working because they had a calling - No one.
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Moving on to the other point or statement rather, in regards to marrying an unbeliever with the hope of turning them over to Christ later - be very wary of such actions. Could backfire heavily.
At the end of the day, take it to the Lord in prayer.
