What a drama.... you wanted all those "good christian men" to be understanding, soft, humble, aware of their feelings... But when they come out with those feelings - maybe for the first time in their lives - there you girls are, like a swarm of vultures.
He is afraid, he is not able to lead...
As always... have a look at the parents. Is the father a strong man? What about the relationship of his father and mother?
I mean, hey, why does a guy come here on a dating site? Because he is not able to talk to a woman out there on a natural basis.
I was such a guy for 15 years. 37 year old Virgin. Good christian man, eh? And yes, I was at university, and there were all those neglected girls who wanted it. I had offers. But not from the "christian" camp.
When I look at it now, as a married man, I say: All the women SAID they wanted a good christian man. But this man should not have any failures, loving, humble, sensitive, polite, absolutely anti-aggressive... What they want - and I am almost there to believe, what they NEED - is a strong, kind but tough man who just foils modern christian feminism.
So I tell all those holy christian nice guys: Make it a domesticated a***h***le. :D The girls will just love you.
You can be nice, but dont overdo it. Of course: Be holy, but dont try yourself. It is still Jesus Christ who does it. And your Job is to render your woman holy - again: in him alone.
To the ladies here: You want a real man? Take him there. Ask him, what the heck he is talking about. But use your female talents when doing so. And - here comes a real secret! - if you open up room for a nice guy to become a man, he will. But only if you see in him and if you treat him the way God has meant him to be.
Same all the other way round of course. Guys, you want a spiritual bombshell of a godly woman? Treat her like she is meant to be by her saviour. Treat her right.
To us all: Surely there is a cosmos of lies out there. But dont we all know the cure? Adam and Eve wanted to be able to independently tell what is good or bad in their lives. But to tell that - thats the job of God, isnt it. Lets just live his reality.
In my experience, there is a big difference between guys who say "I'm a good Christian guy" and guys who say something like "I'm a sinner saved by the grace of God and trying to be more like Him". The difference is that many people who say they are good Christians often say so because they attend church, but their corrupt speech and the way they put themselves above others says otherwise; whereas, the person who admits they're a sinner trying to walk the walk generally is doing just that - doing what the Bible says with some bumps along the way.
I've met a lot of guys who said they were good Christians, but all they would talk about was sex, or they seemed to have no interest in helping the poor, etc. But then I've met guys who admit that they're messed up people trying to serve God, and they act like better Christians than the others.
@Karia, "In my experience, there is a big difference between guys who say "I'm a good Christian guy" and guys who say something like "I'm a sinner saved by the grace of God and trying to be more like Him"
May I ask you respectfully, Have you seen Christian man, who says "I am good Christian Guy" and then go on to lead such a good christian life?". Have you seen? I bet they are. Bountiful of them. Just that some say and you found them in the final destination to be untrue to their professions and confession of faith dont mean that is how all are!.
There are those who walk the walk and talk the talk, there are also those who talk the talk but do not walk the talk.
In closing, look at Hebrews 13:15
King James Bible (Cambridge Ed.)- "By him therefore let us offer the sacrifice of praise to God continually, that is, the fruit of our lips giving thanks to his name"
New International Version (�1984)- "Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise--the fruit of lips that confess his name"
World English Bible - "Through him, then, let us offer up a sacrifice of praise to God continually, that is, the fruit of lips which proclaim allegiance to his name."
New Living Translation (�2007) - "Therefore, let us offer through Jesus a continual sacrifice of praise to God, proclaiming our allegiance to his name."
We are encouraged to walk the talk. A good Christian life dont come by carelessness. Its a conscious effort you put in. I so like the term used in NIV and World English Bible - "Giving ALLEGIANCE to His name"...Allegiance is not care-freely gotten. Its deliberately and calculatingly given to a course. Else you will run foul and incongruous of that course you profess!
I suppose so. I'm just saying what my experiences are - that most guys who really are walking the walk will be fairly hesitant to say they're good Christians, although they will admit they try to be good Christians. I just hate it when guys, or girls for that matter, say they're good Christians because they believe God exists and maybe they attend church, but then they make excuses for all of their habitual wrongdoings.
I see an issue with any statement beside I am trying to follow Jesus.
The statement of being a " good christian" Is not biblical because the scripture says their is none good but God.
The statement of being a " sinner saved by grace" again does not live in the full revelation of Gods word where it tells us we are new creations and redeemed.
Any time we try to live up to a label we are deminishing our selves in some way and deminishing Gods word.
Just be bob, sandy, joe, kathy,......be your self who loves and follows after God.
That went way off track lol. I just simply wanted to know what goes through a man's head when he gives a woman a vague answer like "I'm taking a step back but still want to spend time with you like we used to". I know that being in a church doesn't make you a "Christian" any more than being in a barn makes you a cow. I find it very sad that so many people who attend church today are luke warm in their faith. People are dying and going to hell every day that don't know who Jesus is and so many people just attend church. I'd love to find a man who's in love with Jesus like me to go spread the Word of God with, but so many are still living their lives for themselves and not for Christ, which is why they say things like that to women. I guess it's true we'll never understand men.
"Wow, what's most shocking to me is that those were all things said to me by good Christian men, one of them whom I attend church with. So now it makes sense why I'm 27 and single."
Why? Because women in the Church are so good at relationships the second they become Christians?
When the Joshua Harris model of dating actively promoted by the Church since the late 90s is built entirely around fear, it's no wonder the guys in the church are jumping over each other to see who can be the biggest doormat. They don't have the backbones to be leaders, and it's just not going to happen.
Hold out for a man who doesn't have a hard time asking you out or leading a relationship. Otherwise, you're just going to put yourself in a miserable marriage to a man entirely unfit to be a husband.
Thats exactly the problem - and to call this "way off track" is not getting his/her point. I obviously didnt make it. I am really bad in really saying what I mean. Too bad.
What I would love out there is a little honesty. Just risk to ask what he means, just stop all that oracle-type interpreting of blah. Grow the guts to ask him if you think that there was a hidden message in what he said. Trying to avoid this kind of interaction is following the lame way fear always goes.
What is to be lost? The chance to date a coward? Just go for it, be more bold and talk yourself! Stop analysing, start to act!
THAT is the secret, why some do get a man (or vice versa) and some dont. :D
