Why is it that the few men I have chatted with on this site are looking for a marriage so soon before they meet me or get to know me. It has turned me off a little. Don't get me wrong I want to be married, but I want to get to know the guy first before he starts giving me false promises.
If we are doing Satan�s work for him, let�s do it right. If you want to engage in mud slinging and name calling, let�s go the whole gamut. Why not offend everyone and tell lies about them all? For a long time, we picked on Asians, then Polish people, then Italians, now in my area, the Hispanics and African Americans receive the attention. If you want to go this route, go the whole way.
People, come on now. We are all supposed to be Christians. Stereotypes often occur for a reason. In my humble opinion, that reason often includes ignorance and fear. Do you really want to have to show up and explain to our Lord why you refused one of His blessings? That His gift was not acceptable in your eyes because of a stereotypical belief? Remembering how Jesus reacted to the money changers in the temple, I would rather not incite my God and make Him lose his temper, thank you very much.
Thanks God, your gifts just don�t measure up to my standard of quality. Take them and shove them. Are you KIDDING? We are Christians. Yes there are folks in this world who are not Christians and who act in very unchristian like ways. Yes, we are sinners and still need to repent on a regular basis. Back up, I am a sinner and I must repent on a regular basis.
You may not feel you are a sinner or need to repent. I cannot speak for you. My apologies.
But neither here nor there, Christians should be attempting to emulate the love of Christ, not the hatred of Satan. This thread has gone from a woman seeking answers to sheer, unadulterated nonsense. Why are we attacking other folks? How is that answering a question? We should be showing Christ�s love to other people, even non-believers. How else are we going to lead them to Christ? If we act the same as everyone else, how can we bring them to the Lord and why would they wish to come?
Maybe somebody else can say this better. I admit to be so angry that I am almost spluttering. How DARE you? How DARE YOU say my Lord and Savior creates garbage? I am offended past coherency. And yet we wonder why so many folks don�t want to associate with Christians. Geeeee, (this with total sarcasm) makes a person wonder.
May God have mercy on our souls and help me to forgive,
You are right. Is this the type of conversation that we want the world to hear us speaking? What an offense to the God who created us all! I am appalled by this thread also. The authors need to consider their ways!
How about we inject a little honesty in about now and stop all the insanity. The real reason men want to get married so soon is, they have been searching for a while and are lonely. That does NOT make them scammers or even bad people. They are lonely, pure and simple.
It gets even harder for Christian men who are trying to do the right thing. We don't want to lust, or have sex outside of marriage, so we decide to have a short engagement to offset the chance of these things happening. Now, does that sound like an awful person who wants to drag you off and beat you into submission? Probably, he would be so thankful for you that he would be the greatest husband you could find.
You know, when these same men give up on American women and go overseas to find a bride, these women love the short engagement. They get married and stay that way. There is an astonishingly low percentage of these marriages that end in divorce. So yeah, keep looking at it like it is a bad thing, those foreign women pray you will. They are the ones that benefit for American women who want to hesitate. They know what they want, and they keep it. Maybe we should be rethinking our whole perspective.
Who specifically is your letter of anger directed to? I think it is important that you address who you are writing to so that way no one has to guess.
I was unable to find anyone on any post on this thread make any statement that God makes garbage.
Additionally, why are you angry? Are you angry at someone without a just cause? Is your letter reflective of someone walking in the flesh or the Spirit?
Are we not allowed to state our opinions and beliefs and expect that they will be respected even if they are not what you believe? Is it possible that the person you are angry at may have a perspective that is based upon a reality that you have not experienced or researched?
After a long day the anger has gone and resignation set in. That with a bit of humor.
Maybe that is why I am still single. I do tend to get my dander up over some things and laugh at others. Probably not too many men out there want to be with to somebody who gets passionate about things.
And Leon, my uncle married a woman from the Phillipines. He says after his divorce from an American woman, it is the only way to go. Considering the first marriage lasted less than 10 years and this one is going on 20, I can't say he is wrong. It works for them.
Our system of McDonald marriages and Burger King divorces (quick and easy as a drive through) sure don't seem to stack up so well against other places. Having simply been an outside observer to the whole marriage issue though, maybe I have missed some fundamental components. No telling.
The more I get to know people, the more blessed I feel to have God in heaven in control. Can you imagine the mess we would make of things by ourselves? Yikes.
I have yet to find someone who want's to take things slow, but not so slow that I forget about them! It is shocking to me that some of the men I have chatted with on here are surprised that I chose a dating site to get to know someone. I just don't want to rush into anything and take my time. I so understand that some men are lonely and may be a little desperate, but how does one destinguish between who is mentally unstable versus someone who is just a little lonely?
It would take time and discernment to figure that out. The internet seems to bring out all the unstable people mixed into the rest along with the wolves in sheep's clothing. One of the things you can do is when you are in communication with some one, make sure to bounce things off a a few good friends and get their feed back.
I did a post on NPD...Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Emotional Vampires. It is a good article that everyone should read.
I understand what Leon is saying about being lonely but that isn't and excuse to say when do you want to get married after just a few bits of conversation.
Just keep plodding along. God will bring your #1 your way. Make that your #2 cause God is your #1.
Let's throw another shovel full of honesty in the mix at this point, and see what happens. You are not going to really know a person until you are married, no matter how much time you spend talking. That is just the way it is.
For one thing, we see ourselves differently than everyone else sees us. We know what our intentions are, and everyone else just sees the outcome.
No, the reason most of us want to wait, is to see if a better offer comes along. Be honest, we have all done it, and you know it. It is a hard habit to break. We think Miss America will come looking for us as soon as we decide to get married.
If you have been talking long enough to know the values and dreams of the other, that is as good as it is going to get. You are not going to know more until you are living together. Look at what we know of biblical engagements. Once the deal was made with the father, the groom went to get a place ready for his bride. They were considered married at this point, not engaged. When the house, or room was prepared, the ceremony took place, and they moved in to the place.
There was no waiting, no dating. It was a matter of having a place for the couple to stay. This whole "Get to know each other" thing is an entirely western idea. Since we have the highest divorce rate in the world, maybe our ideas don't work so well.
The truth is, if you want to wait to get married, you are not ready. Stop blaming the ones that are ready. They know what they want, and are going after it. That makes them the honest ones. The rest of us are just playing games.
