My brother Tom, you are clearly an intelligent man and I believe that you are bang-on with about 85% of what you said in your first post in this string...up until your advice to women that ...�if you're going to have a truly happy marriage, you have to accept the fact that men think differently than you, and that's why God put man in charge. Men think more logically, and less emotionally.� Then you sited a scenario in which, I would argue, proved the opposite.
There are several misconceptions here that is an example of why many men have considered women as second goods for all these centuries, which I believe Christ started to break through while He walked this sod. The first issue is concerning that men think differently than woman. While this is absolutely true, you have implied that one way of thinking is superior to another, and then construed that God put man in charge because of his more efficient, accurate and superior intellect. In other words, because of man�s own merit God put him �in charge�. I�m sure you would not argue that all God has given us is by grace, including the responsibilities He trusts us with; not because we deserve them, but because He wants us to grow closer to Him and His likeness by walking in them. Some of those responsibilities He has entrusted us with include making disciples, and loving each other AND our enemies. This applied to men being the head of the household as well ... not because he deserves it based on his own merit, but because He knew that the responsibility should bring man to his knees and thus grow closer to Him and to walking in His likeness. Likewise, He knew that giving women the responsibility to submit to the husband�s final authority would require her to be on her knees and grow closer to God in order to walk in His likeness (as Jesus submitted to God, even to the cross).
My (admittedly rather extreme) argument was presented , using measurable statistics, to logically refute your stance that men are less emotional than women. Each act presented there, the indictable offences and the offenses that drove women to defend themselves, were a result of male emotions not logic. Men have just as many emotions as women, and are driven by them just as strongly. Women may cry or express other emotions more openly and freely, as they are encouraged to do so by culture. Men do not cry or express other emotions (except for rage or euphoria) as openly or freely because they are not encouraged by culture to do so. Instead, they express their emotions of fear and anxiety, hopelessness and despair in different ways: over-achieving to gain status and �acceptability�, performing dare-devil or risky acts to gain attention or to overcome feelings of isolation or depression, fighting to defend pride or prove superiority. These are all emotions which have nothing to do with logic.
I present your intruder scenario ... I submit that the man in this situation was angry and terrified and would have killed whether or not his wife or family were in the house. His actions are triggered by the same �instincts� that drove Peter to lop off the ear of the guard, which Jesus rebuked. The woman in your scenario may or may not have been compassionate towards the intruder (I expect that would come with reflection afterwards), but I would argue that in the heat of the moment that was not what was going on in her mind. It would have more to do with outcome ... �what happens to me and my family if I kill this person?� , �Jesus, let me know what You would have me do� and �is there a way out of this where there is NO loss of life?�. Not emotion, but logic. And yes, this will make her hesitate.
I also submit that your �proof� that women are not logical based upon the number of women in mathematics, medicine and engineering has more to do with culture again than intelligence. It holds the same water as trying to say that a people of a certain skin colour are more intelligent than another. Did you know that 75% of girls grades suddenly drop when they hit high school because they are pressured by their peers to believe that it is more important to be pretty than smart, in co-ed schools only? In all-girl private schools their marks meet or exceed those in the all-male private schools! A professor in a prestigious Engineering university had a class of all females. He noted that, though they were intelligent, they were having difficulty with the concept of certain physics. Specifically trajectory. He perceived that it was a cultural issue and took them outside to learn how to shoot arrows and play football, explaining the angle, wind factors and rate of decent as they played. Suddenly he noticed a �light bulb� moment, took them back into the classroom and retested them ... their average mark increasing by 30-45%. They were not taught to play with such boyish things when they were little. What a difference exposure to different things can make! If more girls were encouraged to explore all that they are capable of there would be more females in those fields. Combine that with changing the male (who are the CEOs) misconception that women are just not capable �so why hire them in these fields�, I wonder what would become of your statistics?
As to your name choice, as an intelligent and perceptive man I�m quite certain the double-entendre was not lost on you and you expected that some eyebrows might be raised. My own daughter had a double-take when she saw your nick-name and asked if this was a Christian site. BTW, I did not say which o-zone seemed like an emotional topic to you; the other one is credited with causing global warming! You are not giving me credit for recognizing your adroitness.
Remind me again about that logical prowess of men? According to statistics:
o Over 2 million prisoners are held in federal and state prisons or local jails and as of June 2006, of them only 203,100 women were in prisons or local jails which means that 1,796,900 incarcerated adults in jail are male
o About 80% of women prisoners have been sexually or physically abused (by men) before being incarcerated
o Battering is the single major cause of injury to women, more frequent than auto accidents, muggings and rapes combined
o An act of adult domestic violence occurs every 15 seconds, more frequently than any other crime in the U.S.
o FBI data indicate that 30% of female homicide victims are killed by their husbands or boyfriends
o Research shows that when (female) victims kill it is much more likely to be in self-defense than when (male) abusers perpetrate homicide. Victims who resort to homicide have often tried repeatedly and unsuccessfully to obtain protection from their abusers.
o A study on a California state prison found that 93% of women who had killed their mates had been battered by them; 67% of these women indicated the homicide resulted from an attempt to protect themselves or their children.
o 78% of the nation's jail and prison inmates grew up in a fatherless household, even though only 15% of today's adult population grew up without a father
How much of this activity is a result of using this God-ordained careful logic? These are emotion-driven activties, are they not? Until a man submits his emotion-driven 'instincts' to the Lordship of Jesus and admits it's power over him, how can he presume to love his wife as the Lord loved us, His church?
[I agree here. My family it evidence of this. The men in my family are very emotion driven and act out because of their emotions. I think the state of our country is in large because men dont know how to reconise and mannage their emotions. In my family if is verbal attacks and killing with words. I used to be like this and in my marriage failed because of not truly being a atrong man. Men want to be strong in many ways and we try to find ways to look strong but when it comes to emotion I find most men are mere babies hiding behind a personna of strength.]
I think this what we end up falling into in relationship.
We end up only wanting the good without the bad. Women remember God says that men need a helper. What does this mean? It means us men are not going to do every thing right.
You become offended in the role God has given you but in reality your role is a great position of athority.
Men are not to be dictarors and women are not to be naggs.
In our roles their needs to be understanding of the others strengths and the others weakness. Build upon our strengths and forgive eachothers weakness.
Headship is a position given to us by God helper is a position given to you ladies by God. Let us joyfull recieve and fulfill our positions as God leads us in expressing them to eachother.
Forget what the world has to say we as believers have to stand with the armor of God and stand in our families for truth that the world might know we are Gods.
Awww! Everyone:) I love the varieties of thoughts and reflections I'm getting to read here. Thanks one and all. Hope this sheds light to the real issue in the BIG PICTURE , and that we all would be able to understand why God created men and women different and unique. There's no superior or inferior role I believe. Its just ALL about complementing each other as partners in christ. Blessings:)
