Author	Thread: Christian dating
Admin	Christian dating Posted : 29 Jul, 2011 06:48 AM Hi men of God. What is your take on dating as a Christian? Is there a difference between dating and courting? What is acceptable or not? Lots of questions but I know you guys have wisdom. For me I vowed never to enter into physical intimacy (kissing, necking etc). I do not want to tempt myself or see how far I can go. Post Reply
View Profile History	Christian dating Posted : 31 Jul, 2011 10:52 AM I think sometimes too much emphasis is put on labeling a relationship whether it's a friendship or a relationship, dating or courting et. One couples "dating" may fit another's definition of "courtship" When we remove the labels what is important in a relationship that is aimed towards potential marriage. Is that it is important to take the time to get to know the other person by what ever means that is whether it's going out for coffee, hanging out in a group of friends, family functions, whatever it be. I think of this as basically getting to know each other which may start out as a friendship and as two people become closer it looks more like a relationship and at some point if the time is right it leads to marriage. I think there is a tendency to want to put a label on things and define things by a label. Kinda like on Facebook changing your status from single to in a relationship people joke that it's not official till your FB status says it is we get caught up by defining a relationship when we should just be enjoying it and letting it grow with the intent for marriage down the road. After all if you are dating, courting, ect. with no intention for marriage then you are wasting both of your time. Post Reply
View Profile History	Christian dating Posted : 31 Jul, 2011 01:15 PM You know what Cobbler nothing in this world happens by chance. Your God is not your godfather or uncle. He is YOUR Abba Father. Children who say Abba have an intimate relationship with Him. Don't think of yourself as having a deficit not because of Aspergers but because because of what you think you missed out on. God has already prepared your mate. And she is going to be your help meet and have a spirit of understanding. Put your faith in God don't think you are too old either stop putting pressure on yourself to be all that you believe a woman needs you to be but be the man God wants you to be. I cannot begin to understand the trials you have overcome. The fact of the matter is you have overcome! Post Reply
View Profile History	Christian dating Posted : 31 Jul, 2011 01:42 PM Kjd, I know that it is popular to say that God has someone out there for us, and that we don�t have to worry about it, but the truth is that we do need to work at being a good husband or wife. We can�t just do what we want and expect someone else to just like us for all our flaws. I think that is the single biggest fault that most people have in not finding someone. I think that those who do find someone it�s because they have learned that they do need to work at pleasing someone else. It�s a lot like a farmer praying for rain, but then never plowing his field or sowing the seeds. My point is, there are things that you need to do to find a spouse, and it�s a lot more than just reading your Bible and praying. Those two things are a starting point, but it�s not everything that you need to do. I don�t think that I am not good enough to be a good husband, I am just terrible at starting a relationship. It is all about subtlety and non-verbal communication, and that is something I am mentally not capable of understanding without a ton of help. Teaching someone how to start a relationship is almost impossible, because there is no one size fits all way of doing things. I have look over the past success I have had with friendship, and the one thing that has stood out is that we became friends because they pushed the friendship forward, they were the ones who sought me out. But, this doesn�t work with dating because I�m the one who is supposed to lead the relationship. Everyone just sits around and waits for me to do everything, and I don�t know how to do it without scaring everyone away. When I made friends, it never felt like we needed to organize or plan anything, we just became friends. With dating it feels as if it�s all on my shoulders, and if I get one thing wrong, it�s over. There is no give and take, it�s all just up to me. If we are just supposed to be friends at the start, why should I be the one that leads the relationship? If I have to lead, then it�s more than just being friends, right? I guess my point, on whether to date or court, I think courting simplifies things. I read over and over on women�s profiles that they are tired of all the games that men play. Courting removes all the confusion and stops the games. Post Reply
View Profile History	Christian dating Posted : 1 Aug, 2011 03:17 PM I feel your frustration, friend. I don't think I've got Aspergers or anything but I definitely lack social skills which my peers seem much more able in - and have done since early school years. But lets not be too tough on ourselves - women typically spend much more 'girl' time together with friends anyway, and tend to be privy to even quite sensitive parts of each other's lives. Us guys generally don't, so in comparison we're never going to be as good at women in social and communication skills and we shouldn't feel ashamed about that because our strengths lie elsewhere. For some reason, women expect us to be just like their best girl friends in every way except for the genitals. We aren't and never will be a replacement for those friends, the same way they'll never substitute your best guy friend because some things they'll just never 'get'. On a practical level, if you're doing the stereotypical dinner-date then it might be worth taking one of your friends with you (and she one of hers), so both of you have someone whom you're at ease with and you can both see each other in those circumstances. Just a thought anyway... Post Reply
View Profile History	Christian dating Posted : 2 Aug, 2011 09:12 AM hoosiermike I agree! I liked your response. :angel: Post Reply
Asher_Aurelius View Profile History	Christian dating Posted : 4 Aug, 2011 02:30 AM I think the difference is cultural. Make sure you maintain you integrity, Post Reply

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