I can see that my attempt to break up the bickering with a level-headed, biblical appeal to sanity and civility has apparently gone unheeded. I don't know what to say except that I can't believe I'm attempting to break up the childish squabbles of people twice my age.
What I will say is that I have HAD ENOUGH! I am going to speak my piece and then hopefully we can all drop it. I will give the warning that some of you are not going to like what I have to say and will want to spit fire back at me when you read it. Please attempt to take a bit and meditate on what I've had to say before writing a knee-jerk comment that is sure to incite further issue.
First to Pixy, I did not post my previous comment for you to justify your position. I posted it for people to think about what was going on and hopefully learn from it. Notice that I did not specifically mention anyone nor draw attention to any particular argument about sexual slavery or any of the bickering that followed. The small thing I was referring to was the original disagreement about it. I take exception to the fact that between you and chevy, the topic was hijacked.
I do not fault you for reporting Two. Anyone who has been on here for long knows that the two of you had prior history of vehement disagreements on things. Two was out of line and deserved to be reported as he was. However, the fact remains that the number of times you allegedly reported him likely caused his expulsion from the site, whether directly or indirectly. I'm going to refer you back to the very verses you quoted previously, Matthew 18:15-17:
15 �If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. 16 But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that �every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.' 17 If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.
It seems to me that you did verse 15 and possibly 16, but I for one did not know until your post today that you had contacted him about it so I have to ask if you really followed verse 17 and told it to the church (which in this case I would take to mean making it common knowledge on the forums that you'd contacted him privately). Had others known, is it so hard to conceive that we would have stepped forward faster to tell Two to put a clamp on it? As it was, the continued reporting only seemed to make him more irrationally angry so as to keep shooting himself in the foot. I don't know much but that seems both a little passive aggressive and like causing a brother to stumble. On a related note, once the comments turned to personal attacks, why report even those? I know the rules are the rules but sometimes you need to have a little mercy and turn the other cheek. The guy was clearly angry and being irrational for pity�s sake. Let it go, give him time to regain his composure, and then make it known that what he did was hurtful. He may well have realized his folly and apologized.
Now to Chevy, I have no quarrel with you besides the above mentioned hijacking of a topic. I like reading your comments and appreciate having you on the site. I also appreciate the offer to teach me to change my oil. However, sir, there are times when you (and Two if he is reading this) need to learn to SHUT UP and think about what you are saying before you say it! When you get into an argument, you have a tendency to continue picking at and belittling the person with the opposite opinion. Did you even read my previous post? What does James 3 say about taming the tongue? With the very first response after my post you made a comment about the �censorship police.� Anyone who had followed the back and forth knew who you were talking about. When the argument is over (especially when it�s become sensitive), DROP IT! Forgive and forget; that is what Christ did for us. That is what we need to do for others, especially our fellow Christians.
To manofgod�..really sir? I haven�t seen a comment by you through the entire argument and you jump in now to hurl an insult and insinuate violence. You must understand that you are just stirring the pot with a comment like that. Say something useful or keep it to yourself.
To Two, if you�re reading this I just don�t know what to say to you. You are one stubborn guy. Sometimes it�s good, sometimes it�s not. Maybe pick your battles a little better and also have a look at James 3.
Now, as I said at the beginning, I�m sure some of you are offended or are angry with me. Please take some time to cool down and reflect on what I�ve said. Is it untrue? If it is then I apologize. My aim here is not to attack anyone but to bring to light certain issues. I am not perfect myself. If you feel the need to comment, then please feel free to do so. If I have crossed a line, then Admin, please feel free to drop the curtain because I won�t argue. If there is nothing else, let�s please move on with our lives and be CIVIL with each other.
for your information two's profile says deleted not banned. This means others who were deleted did return several months later.He may have it a lot harder because some may remind him of his past.
That is life, I am disappointed in two. i expected better. Had he just dropped it he would still be here.
Pixy, I am not happy where you are concerned. Why, because you have done the same thing. You should have shown a little bit of mercy. I have never turned you in pixy when you wrote your sex post.I was disgusted to have other women email me in private about you. It is all some place in my history profile post.
God is the god of second chances. I hope that you got the help you needed. Yes, those women turned you in and you are still here.Dennis
I am stepping in here to clarify the facts, not to argue.
Actually, I have not done the same thing; I've never once joked about sex trafficking or anything related to sexual violence.
As far as "sex posts" go, I'm well-aware that the fact that I'm open about having been a child prostitute and having been raped later in life is something that's not pleasant to hear about. But I'm not going to hide in shame behind my past, and I have no intention of getting help to learn how to. In fact, the majority of mental health professionals who I'm aware of, encourage survivors to just the opposite: TALK!
Disclosing that you've been sexually assaulted and discussing matters related to that is not a "sex post," and, according to the Bible, it's not sin. As Christians, we are called to minister to others through the pain in our pasts. Part of that is being open about it, and letting people see the journey of redemption that God has led us on. I wish more women would be open about things like that. I admin a sexual assault recovery group on Facebook (and am also in the process of developing a Christ-centered sexual assault recovery website -- totally astounded that there isn't one already out there!!). There are probably about a dozen women in my group who are church-goers. Only two of them have told anyone in their respective churches what has happened. Why haven't the rest told? Because they're afraid that they'd be subject to the same kind of stuff I've been subject to on here for the past almost-year. The series of threads that led to this one are a prime example of that. Two ASKED any victims of sex trafficking who were offended by the post to speak up. Yet, when I did so, I was *treated* to a firestorm of ridicule that's still continuing into this thread. But back to women being afraid to tell people in their churches about what has happened to them... What happens to these women, do you think? Well, I can tell you. They're ashamed and live under the cloud of that shame every single day. This affects every aspect of their lives. In some cases, these women then go on to not tell their Christian husbands. They see how other rape victims are treated by Christians and decide that living under shame is the better choice. But it shouldn't be like that. Christians are the ones with the answers; we're the ones who can help people find Christ-centered answers. There is absolutely no reason why the church should be contracting that out to secular sources. A Christian woman should not have to go to a secular source for help because she feels like the Christian communities that she's don't want to hear about it. There are a ton of secular rape recovery websites out there. But, in all of my years of hunting around the web for a solid, Christ-centered version of the same, I haven't been able to find one. It grieves me that Christians should desire to remain so silent on something that affects 1 in 6 women.
The reason I reported Two is not because he was talking about sex trafficking. I have absolutely no problem with that (not that it matters what I think -- because my choice to report is based on what the terms of service say, not my personal preferences). I reported him because he joked about it and made fun of sex trafficking victims, and, when confronted in private about it, showed no repentance.
As far as women contacting you about me... That's unbiblical and they shouldn't have done that. Per Matthew 18, if they feel that I sinned in my posts, they needed to have come directly to me. Going to someone else is gossip. Furthermore, it doesn't resolve anything. I can't resolve something with somebody who doesn't even tell me that they're upset with me. So, to be very blunt, that simply not my fault. And if you want to handle this Biblically, Dennis, then what you ought to do is message all of these women and encourage them to message me so that we actually work things out.
As far the alleged reports agasint me? According to my last conversation with an admin, I've never been reported even once. Either they're mistaken or your friends are. Regardless, if you're firmly convinced that rape victims shouldn't be allowed to speak openly about their lives on dating sites (or not be allowed on them at all?), then you are welcome to contact admin with your proposed revisions to the Terms of Service. As they are now, there is nothing in there that prohibits or discourages rape victims from speaking the truth about what's happened to them.
People aren't banned because someone doesn't like them or because they're reported; they're banned because the break the Terms of Service or those red letters at the top of the forum pages.
GET REAL!! People ARE Banned because of others reporting them. Do you realize how many insults have been tolerated on this site? how many links have been given to other web sites that weren't prohibited? Know why? Because they weren't REPORTED. Looks like your conversations with the admn. are paying off. Usually when you want someone gone, they're outta here. LOL LOL LOL LOL
If I get banned for disagreeing with you, pixy, So be it! The sex posts many of the women were upset about weren't only about your alledged rape. You should view your "history". You have conveniently forgotten some of your own posts. ~~~~~~~~ Okay I'll SHUT UP now. Wouldnt want river's buddy to threaten me again. LOL
he's not my buddy, he's OUR brother in Christ. and when I said I agreed with him, I was referring to what he said about the way women have been getting treated around here lately.
please stop being angry, you know I love you.
God ALWAYS prevails and I believe He prevailed in this situation as well, no matter what we think.
MOG- Steve, i know that when i first came here we disagreed about everything.Since then I have gotten over the end of my marriage. I am more settled now.otherwise, I am at peace with myself. even when I disagree with you I like your input because I could be wrong. because i have no children I feel your response is the right one. A father needs to protect his daughter. As one who has no children being a mature adult I agree with your approach on how you have handled yourself recently. if I would not allow certain kids have behavior in my home I do not agree with it here.
no arguement here pixy, I did try to find those post.CDFF deleted them from my history. and they also deleted all of those post back then. They did not close them back then. So, I have nothing to say. all those things are gone. all the post that were not offensive are still there. CDFF would remove the whole forum post back then.
If I was out of line in my earlier post I apologize.
as for those women who emailed me, they left that day. I was one of the last people they emailed.
