I have on several occasions posed this question to my friends -- both guys and girls -- and they have given me the same general answer, but I am always open to other points of view.
The thing is, I have been told on many occasions that I intimidate guys (which they then say is the main reason they, and other men, refuse to pursue me). Now I know none of you know me on a personal level, but from a guy's perspective, what intimidates you most in women?
For me personally, I know it's not a height factor (I'm 5'1"). However, I am a confident, independent woman who isn't afraid to do things on her own. I'm outgoing, love to play sports, and am not considered a real 'girly-girl'. This is who I am, and yet I scare away men. I'm not exactly desperate for a relationship, but I have always wondered why men find me so intimidating.
It was not my intention to say she needs to comfort guys she doesn't like.
We're not talking about me. We're talking about guys in general. And just because a guy isn't approaching women left and right doesn't mean he's not confident in who he is in Christ. He may simply have not noticed a specific girl, for a variety of legitimate reasons, and an action on her part to let him (a guy she's interested in) know that she's receptive can go a long way toward his taking the lead in a relationship. See, I think it's silly to sit back and talk about what our roles should be to such an extent that we don't communicate at all with other people. I see this a lot these days. Our society lacks communication, so I don't think it's unreasonable to suggest that anyone who wants to make a connection would be wise to send out some signals.
And I didn't say anything about her needing to *train* him to lead. Good grief! Has everyone forgotten what we knew back in the days of FIDOnet echoes? If you're going to assume a connotation in someone's post, it's best to assume for the better. Text media don't convey everything, so it's easy to misinterpret what people are saying. Be mindful of this, and you're less likely to look foolish.
All I said is that an indication of receptiveness is encouraging to a guy. And women don't like when a guy keeps pursuing them after they've tried to ignore him, so I don't think suggesting an indication of receptiveness means a lack of 'boldness'.
I read over the thread and share agreement with what some have said. I personally do not find you to be very intimidating, but then again I'm not scared to try sky diving either.
Gosh! Why are you not a psycologist? You sound a really cool level headed guy, not many around these days! lol.You are emotionally intellectual, and wise. I wish i could meet someone with the understanding that you have. God bless. jan
I would guess that you are the one who likes to be in charge. This isn't Biblical. Men want a submissive minded woman; that is a spiritually mature woman. You need to ask yourself, do you like being in control? If so, men can see that and it isn't attractive to mature Christian men.
It would be to pansy, spiritually immature men, Christian or non-Christian, but after a while you would lose respect for those men, even though you liked it to begin with.
I hope you check this message because I really think you and I would be a great match, however, I'm 24, and your age criteria wouldn't allow me to send you a message the regular way. I am a college graduate and teacher, very worth knowing, if you find my message and up your age criteria from 18-23-18-24 we could talk!
