Author	Thread: Please read! What do you men think?
Admin	Please read! What do you men think? Posted : 13 Apr, 2011 03:48 PM I notice that women (not all of-course) see men (in general mind you) as not sensitive, not very smart, thick skin (no words/rejection can penetrate), not emotional, etc... What do you men think about this? I was reading a WONDERFUL book called "the proper care and feeding of husbands" that say specifically what is the difference between men and women, what goes through their heads, how they want to be treated, etc... But from you men personally, can you tell us women what you want us to know about you? cos obviously women and men are different, cos God made us so, we are both programmed (per se) differently, and our roles are different. I've heard that a mans version of love is when their woman respects/trusts them... what are your thoughts on all of this? Thanks! :) Post Reply
WorkWise View Profile History	Please read! What do you men think? Posted : 13 Apr, 2011 08:41 PM One thing to know is that men do have feelings, we just don't often show them on our sleeves. We actually have feels just as deep and strong as women, but we've been conditioned not to show them. So it's really not that we're insensitive, we just don't want other guys to see us being all emotional. Why? Because we get ridiculed for it...which brings me to my next point. Men don't like to be gaossiped about to other women. If you're going to talk about us, say positive things. Don't be nice to our face and then critisize us to others. It's hurtful when others do it to you, so don't do it to us. Compliment us to your friends when we're around. Recognize our efforts. Men live very stressful lives. We worry about other guys encroaching on our girlfriends/wives. Everyone has weak moments and so we don't like to see the one we're dating or married to, hugging and flirting with other guys. You don't like it when we do it to other girls...so you know how it feels... Most men work full time. Often the financial burden of the family rests on us and we most often HATE our jobs. So, be understanding when we get home and are a little grumpy or clipped when we first get home. Give us a half hour or so to get settled before you drop a chore request on us. When we do get that chore request done...thank us and compliment us on it. We like to be recognized for our efforts. If we walk away from a conversation it's not becuase we don't care or don't want to discuss it further. Often we walk away because we're reached a point emotionally that we're afraid of saying something to make the situation worse...so don't hound us. Broach the subject later, when we've had time to cool down and think. We are very analytical. Don't say there's nothing wrong when there is. We'll often take it at face value...we don't read minds...we like to keep life simple. If you're upset about something, it's better to bring it up right away then to let it go months or years and then suddenly bring it up like it's a problem.... If we knew it was a problem in the beginning...all the drama and stress could have been prevented. Post Reply
View Profile History	Please read! What do you men think? Posted : 13 Apr, 2011 10:23 PM omgoodness, THANK YOU! everything that you just said is what i've been wanting to know. every single point. Cos I have heard that lets say, a woman has a problem and discusses it with her man he wants to find a solution. but anyways, what you wrote really was refreshing and eye opening and something i'm definitely going to apply and learn from! So thanks! :) Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Please read! What do you men think? Posted : 13 Apr, 2011 10:44 PM Not sensitive: Well, we tend to deal with things more directly instead of being passive aggressive. If that makes us insensitive, so be it. Not very smart: Um...I may not catch every time you act like something's no big deal and tell me repeatedly that it's no big deal, then expect me to know anyways that it's a big deal, but the only person I've ever met who would say I'm not smart was an absolute genius. Compared to him, I wasn't smart. Then again, compared to him, I don't know of anyone who wouldn't look smart. Thick skin: Yes, I have a thick skin, but it's only so thick, especially if you pick the right topic to be rude about. Assuming that you can say anything to a guy, and that he won't care is just dumb. Not emotional: Well, testosterone does decrease men's emotional response. At the same time though, we still have feelings. Something might not make us as sad as it makes you, but we're still hurt by hurtful things. "He won't go psycho like I would," is no reason to just say any rude thing that comes to mind. Love as respect/trust: Can you really, truly love someone you don't respect? Post Reply
View Profile History	Please read! What do you men think? Posted : 14 Apr, 2011 04:52 AM "I notice that women (not all of-course) see men (in general mind you) as not sensitive, not very smart, thick skin (no words/rejection can penetrate), not emotional, etc... What do you men think about this?" ------------- What do I think?....I think this is why there are do many children being raised by one parent, why there are so many broken homes, so many broken relationships, so many single people. Women hold the keys to good relationships, however as usual, they can't seem to find their keys...lol, if that were only true....I think most don't even realize they hold the keys, or deny they possess them. Post Reply
View Profile History	Please read! What do you men think? Posted : 14 Apr, 2011 06:40 AM It only takes one key to unlock a door. Lol Post Reply
View Profile History	Please read! What do you men think? Posted : 14 Apr, 2011 07:13 AM Maybe men should keep an extra/spare key? lol Post Reply
riveroflife1 View Profile History	Please read! What do you men think? Posted : 14 Apr, 2011 07:45 AM i like what workwise posted. when you get older and do lots of soulsearching (praying & asking) so many things make sense. youcome to realize that everything you have been shown as a kid in regard to relationships is usually wrong. the main thing is RESPECT, if you dont respect him, then it will never work out. We are absolutely wired differently and I dont believe that women hold the keys to a successful relationship. That puts the blame on us if it doesnt work out. It takes 2 mature individuals to work at making something successful. Actually 3 because if God isnt in the middle and if He isnt the referee, it wont work (for me). Mutual respect and communication is important...no games Post Reply
View Profile History	Please read! What do you men think? Posted : 14 Apr, 2011 08:35 AM Other true things- most men get their self estem from their work. women get their's from the man they marry. advice- if your husband needs a bust because things are not well at work then maybe you can be positive at home. work it out. My X wife told me when I got laid off, No job no marriage. what an ugly thing to say. We had some bad econimic times and I have to take a double hit. Ladies the word of life is in your hands. Support your man. Dennis Post Reply
View Profile History	Please read! What do you men think? Posted : 14 Apr, 2011 09:39 AM wow! Thanks everyone for your comments... Thank you men for your honest response! Seriously, i've been curious and reading what you men have to say really makes me think. Thanks so much! :) Post Reply
View Profile History	Please read! What do you men think? Posted : 14 Apr, 2011 03:05 PM Where is the truth in the middle of all this hmm, maybe just maybe if we ask the father, we all could get out of the fog. In the church it seems to be so apparent we have the what about me mentality. If we will take the position teach me how to be the man, the woman I am to be, we would see a difference overnight. Post Reply

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