Why do men these days think a woman should go out to work and support herself financially? I think if they want to marry us, then they should be prepared to take care of us financially. Maybe old fashioned, but when we're @home, we clean, cook, sew, mend, create and if we have to go out and work, we don't have the time, to make the home nice and cook good, proper meals and be attentive and devoted.
I'll be interested to see men's reply's to this Q! So far I have been blessed and found men to care for me in past relationships, but I do see there's a lot who say - wanted - independant woman! Some of just want to be an old fashioned wife at home n be some ones babygirl and betaken care of.
I also know I will be challenged by career women on this who would say - don't you want to do something for yourself- to put it simply - NO! I just want to be a wife - simple as that!
I think it's becoming more and more percieved as sexist to want a woman to stay at home and not work first and foremost and they think it would detract potential dates to say otherwise or not say that. I'm sure others think it's also a more convenient way to get more material wealth. I think it's fine either way whether she has a job or not, but unfortunate that the public would percieve there is something wrong with somebody if they stay at home and do not work. But that's just why I don't care about what other people think about what I think in general. To those people: One size does not fit all. Deal with it.
Also the wording of it if you think about it. Saying somebody doesn't work or have a job implies they just sit around on the couch and are unproductive, when oo I'll make a different post for this next part. Sit tight...
It's all about pulling your own weight in the relationship. If we have no kids, what are you really going to do? There's only so much cooking, cleaning, and laundry you can do every day. Why do you deserve to only contribute minimally to the relationship while your husband is out working 9 hours a day to provide for the both of you? Not only that, but I've been taking care of my own cooking and cleaning/laundry for years while still working or taking classes. It only makes sense for the wife to work and for us to split the chores.
I think if you love her enough you shouldn't expect her to work physically but this is why I asked for mens opinions. The Bible says a man should provide. I know we're all different and Im not saying a woman who wants a big career life shouldnt have it but what I find is that modern men just as a whole seem to just presume we will want to work when some of us are preferring to be at home being creative
13 She seeks wool and flax, and works willingly with her hands
14 She is like the merchants' ships; she brings her food from afar
15 She also rises while it is still night, and gives food to her household, and a share to her young women
16 She considers a field, and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard
17 She binds her loins with strength, and makes her arms strong
18 She sees that her merchandise is good; her lamp does not go out by night
19 She lays her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff
20 She stretches out her hand to the poor; yea, she reaches forth her hands to the needy
21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household; for all her household are clothed with scarlet
22 She makes herself coverings; her clothing is silk and purple
23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land
24 She makes fine linen and SELLS it, and delivers girdles to the merchants
25 Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness
27 She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness
As it was written in verse 24, it was written that she made a fine linen and sold it, means she someway somehow did do some works. I don't think it would be considered as "sinning" if we women do some works to support us or our family financially. Aside of the reason of "not sinning for women to work (esp married women written there in the verse), what I've noticed these days are, due to the economy reason (I'm not saying that God is not our provider and He's an impossible God), and seems like family (esp children) need more stable financial support from both hubby and wife. If the hubby could cover all the expenses, I don't think it is wrong for the wife to stay home and be a full time housewife. But if the hubby couldn't fully support the family financially, wouldn't be bad if the wife do something to help, not necessarily have to work progressively on her career, but she can work from home and still take care of the house and the children.
Marriage is just basically an agreement of both parties. If the wife does mind to work and want to be a full time housewife, then she and her hubby should find the best solution for that. If the best solution was for her to stay home of all alternatives, no problemo.
I certainly have no problem with a woman who wants to stay at home and not "have a career" but instead raise kids, take care of the home.
BUT, the way you worded it or are making it sound, you want someone who is "going to take care of you", you are almost making it sound like you want someone to pamper you, allow you to go shopping and not really contribute to the relationship in some positive ways. Please forgive me if I mis read that, or maybe you just need to reword it.
I would also agree that if there are no children in the relationship there is only so much to be done at home. So how is your time being spent? If a couple is married and with no kids and she does not want to have a career I think the appropriate thing to be happening is for her to be doing something productive, maybe volunteering somewhere, helping out at church several hours a week, etc.
Also, as someone already mentioned, us guys would take a lot of flak if we said we think a woman SHOULD stay at home and not have a career.
I also forgot to mention, with the economy the way it is, it does often take both people working just to survive, trying to live on one income is really hard, especially with children. Companies do not pay wages like they used to. With the manufacturing base of the US offshored, there are a lot fewer middle class jobs which means it is harder to have one income familys
I know I'm a girl, but I'm giving my input anyway...
I consider myself to be a career sort of woman at this point in my life, but I would love nothing better than to marry someone who can support the family financially so that I can be a homemaker. Not that I CAN'T support myself...'cause I CAN. But I don't see how it's possible to work as many hours as I do now and also raise kids, keep a house clean, do the laundry, cook, run errands, help with yard work as necessary, and also have time left over to make my husband feel special and loved. Something will probably suffer or simply not get done. And if I'm completely worn out from working a job all week and then doing all the work of a full-time homemaker in the evening, I fear that even if my husband wants to spend time with me, I won't be able to enjoy it because I'll be so tired or already wondering how I'll make it through the rest of the week.
There is also the little problem I have with letting young children be raised by a stranger...I would MUCH rather do the raising and training and teaching when they are that young. Of course, I'd like to homeschool them too, but that's something that my husband and I would have to decide together when the time comes.
I know that in this economy, it is really hard to survive on one income. I get that. But it CAN be done. My solution for making that easier is that I would be a full-time homemaker, my husband would provide the bulk of the income, and I would work part-time from home as a music teacher to supplement the family income.
Anyway, after saying all that, I DO want to work when I'm married before kids come along, and if I never have kids, I would want to keep on working full time. After my kids are grown and out of the house, I'd want to go back to work again. I'm not a homebody who wants to sit around and do nothing.
A woman here in TX went to a college and majored in home economics (or something similar to home economics), because she was planning on staying at home and taking care of her family. A feminist heard about this and started blasting her away for this. Another feminist said the feminist movement was not about forcing women to work but to allow them the option to go to work if they so choose. So, any woman who would blast you for not wanting to do what your hearts true desire is, needs to rethink why they feel this way. Women have chances that we didn't have before, but those chances should prevent women from doing things that have been the traditional role of a wife.
So my point is this, if this is the life you want, go for it girl, and hold your head up high!!
Chevvy you're aiming to victimise me again today by making snyde remarks. That man yesterday was rude and ignorant, which is why I was so defensive back at him and I got support from people who understood me anyway.
Yes to answer someone earlier, I do want to be pampered and taken care of and looked after and I feel no shame, I have overcome and escaped 5 violent relationships from aged 18 to 39, so I wont feel bad to want a man to care for me that way. However, I also wish to open and run a rescue mission and orphanage so I need a man to look after me financially so that I can set that up and have it running! Someone else said about middle class jobs too. i don't do class - this class system disgusts me in this cynical and ugly society in which we live and yes, they should pay more, but also not enough people believe in their own worth and seek for higher positions either. I know that the top paid jobs dont have as high application submissions as the joe average ones in business stats.
What I want personally is actually nothing to do with why I asked the quation. I want to know opinions of real life men and it seems the majority of you seem to think it's ok to expect us to work. This is what I was wanting to find out, no more, no less!
