Author	Thread: Background check
Admin	Background check Posted : 8 Jan, 2011 08:09 AM Would you be upset if someone asked if you have any kind record with the police? I am interested because I did date someone who is Christian, gainfully employed, a church attender from in my area when I found out he was incarcerated for domestic abuse and bi-polar after a restraining order was obtained by me when his anger issue became my problem. If I had done a background check I would have never dated him to begin with. Now I do background checks, prayer and confirmation before I date anyone. Do you find this type of cautionary procedure offensive? Post Reply
View Profile History	Background check Posted : 8 Jan, 2011 08:59 AM I wouldn't be upset if a girl asked about my back ground or even checked it out for herself. But a guy who had been in trouble with the law at one time in his life could do a turn around and make a really good husband. And one with a squeaky clean record could turn out to be satan in disguise; so even knowing a guy's record or lack of one isn't a fool proof way of weeding out the unwanted guys. chevy Post Reply
Elisa View Profile History	Background check Posted : 8 Jan, 2011 09:07 AM Every time I get a new job, my entire background is checked with a nationwide database. Shrug, so many people have dug through my past I have nothing to hide so if he wants to, knock yourself out. As for would I do a check on him, well, used to that would have been a big no. Today, I don't know. Before committing, maybe. To go on a date, wow, that could get really expensive and even creepy. However, could avoid problems. And, Chevy has some very good points. Proceed with caution with all? But yikes, that would be so depressing. Ok, now that I have talked in a complete circle, will be interested to hear what others have to say. Post Reply
View Profile History	Background check Posted : 8 Jan, 2011 10:40 AM Once I think I may be getting serious about someone (though not before the first date - after) I google their name. I also go to www womansavers dot com and look their name up. I do not do a complete background check, no. And those two things I mentioned are only two of the ways you can "check" on someone. The best way, in my opinion, is face-to-face time, and meeting their friends and family. Post Reply
View Profile History	Background check Posted : 8 Jan, 2011 11:48 AM I don't know that I would be "upset" with her per se, but I know I would not submit to one. I have never been arrested and have nothing to hide but I really dislike where we are headed as a country with technology use. Just because you CAN do something, doesn't mean you SHOULD do something. Privacy along with any other freedom comes at a price. The more we give up in the way of freedom out of fear based decisions the more we are slaves. People will say, well if you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to fear. Sorry, I've never bought into that thought. It's the same way I would not believe in letting police search my car without cause, purely on principle So where does it stop? Would you submit to a detailed financial back ground before someone goes out with you so they don't get involved with someone who has bankruptcies and large amounts of debt? Would you submit to a a detailed physical health report about you from your doctor before somone gets to serious and thinks about marriage or even before a first kiss? Would you submit to a DNA sample from you to make sure you are not at risk for dying early from cancer or some other genetic disease? And to also make sure that future children once married are not likely to be born with defects? You see my point, where does it stop? I don't think companies should do it when hiring, and I don't think people should do it. I'm in paramedic school right now. I'm taught to treat my patient not the equipment. Meaning don't get so reliant on technology that you are not able to gauge if your patient is sick or not, do a good physical exam. Same thing applies, it sounds like you had your answer, there were anger issues with him. I think people will present red flags, we shouldn't let technology replace our ability to be judges of character. Post Reply
View Profile History	Background check Posted : 8 Jan, 2011 12:33 PM There are some times when employers really need to do a background, such as schools. If I were a parent, I would not want my child being taught by someone who has a past of preying on children. However, as you pointed out Shawn, sometimes we can go a little to far with background checks. There are some jobs that it's not as important if someone has a minor history, i.e. retail. Now if I were dating someone who lives several hours away, maybe I would do a background check, early on, just because it's harder to judge someone that you don't see on a regular basis. But that would also be if I have indications that something is not all right there, such as stories not matching up. (Course, if that were the case, I probably would not do the background check and just tell the guy I'm not interested.) And if it was someone close by, more than likely not. I do have friends and family that can help me spot things that I might miss. If a guy wants to do a background, hey, it's okay, use to it, like Elysa said. Post Reply
View Profile History	Background check Posted : 8 Jan, 2011 02:33 PM There is a big difference between having nothing to hide (in your mind) and what is public knowlege. The second man I married I ended up morgaging my home (that I paid cash for) because he had back taxes in the thousands that I didn't know about. So everyone's perspective is different. No public checking for your record or lack there of isn't an invasion of your privacy, it is validating my safety and well being financially and Spiritually. This online dating is so ambiguious everyone needs to stay alert and informed for the sake of common sense and peace within. We are told in His Word to be wise as serpents and gentle as dove's right? Thanks everyone for your comments, each answer gave me a better understanding of how diverse everyone's thinking is with their valid view point. I hope we just stay informed and safe online is all... Post Reply
View Profile History	Background check Posted : 8 Jan, 2011 02:42 PM What one REALLY needs is a foreground check, much more beneficial! Post Reply
View Profile History	Background check Posted : 8 Jan, 2011 02:51 PM oooo, Sparrow I like that idea. Can you figure out away to make that happen? Post Reply
View Profile History	Background check Posted : 8 Jan, 2011 03:08 PM Well, one thing that hasn't been mentioned is the logistics of it. There are 300 million people in this country. How are you going to do a background check? How do you know you are getting the right person? To make sure you are getting the right person you need a unique identifier. At a bare minimum you are going to need something like last name, address and phone number. Most likely to get a good background check you need a SSN. Do you really expect someone to give that up? Are you really willing to give those pieces of information to someone? The previous ten years I've spent working in technology and data. I know enough to know that data scares me. Post Reply
Elisa View Profile History	Background check Posted : 8 Jan, 2011 03:09 PM now that is a thought. y'all have me really thinking. to get into the site, a person needs a medical test to ensure no funky diseases such as STDs, proof of financial soundness, proof of education, and a police background check Post Reply

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