Deep Question For The Men On: He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not, He Loves Me!
Posted : 10 Nov, 2010 07:43 AM
How do you know when you're really in love? For me, well... it's that feeling you get when you can think of nobody else. Waiting for the phone to ring and knowing it's her when it does without even checking the caller id. Putting her wants or needs before yours without even thinking. You can't fall asleep at night because reality is better then your dreams.
What have I learned from my last relationship? Sometimes no matter how hard you try, how bad you want things to work out, it takes two to keep a marriage working. It isn't one-sided. (Esp when someone puts rat poison in your hamburger helper!)
What have I learned about myself and what did I do, how can I catch it before it gets there again? I learned I'm not superman, I have to turn things over to God . Watch for the signs, listen harder, pay closer attention, listen to my heart. Don't ignore the obvious.
What will I do differently? Laugh harder:laugh:, pray longer:prayingm:, and love deeper:hearts:.
Deep Question For The Men On: He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not, He Loves Me!
Posted : 10 Nov, 2010 09:17 AM
*How do you know when your in love?
> When you act like savedbygrace and edw!
*What have you learned from a past relationship?
>People express love in different ways, some have a hard time expressing their love but that doesn't mean they don't love.
* What I will do differently?
>I won't assume that I am not loved because she expresses her love differenty than I. And that I should be more concerned about loving than feeling loved...you know like God does!
But it sure would be nice to have what savedbygrace and edw have.....don't ya think?
Deep Question For The Men On: He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not, He Loves Me!
Posted : 10 Nov, 2010 09:32 PM
Falling In Love isn�t all that hard. Falling In Love with the Right Person can be. That is one thing that I have learned from my past mistakes.
Also thinking that �your Love� can change someone is asking for grief and pain.
In no special order are some more things I�ve learned:
Marry a Christian! Thus, the reason why I am on this site.
Make no decision until many months have passed by (and I mean MANY months)�at least a year�maybe more.
Women are �wired� differently then men are. God made them that way for a reason. It is my responsibility to find out what is important to her and to fulfill that need. There is a book titled �The Five Love Languages� (or something like that). It was very illuminating. Also a book titled �The Brain In Love� by Daniel Amen. A most excellent book.
I�ve learned that what I might feel is not important might be Crucially Important to her.
I�ve learned that Communication is Essential�.let me repeat that�Communication is ESSENTIAL! And never go to bed with unresolved issues.
I�ve learned that the toilet seat can break up a marriage (if it�s left up often enough).
I�ve learned that special days means special things should happen (a card � flowers � candy etc).
I�ve learned that if you Love her then you need to set aside one day of the week for a date with her ( out to eat or dance or just Out somewhere nice).
There are more but the most important one is God. Praying together, Reading Scripture together�doing mission work together. Being on the same page Spiritually.
Deep Question For The Men On: He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not, He Loves Me!
Posted : 11 Nov, 2010 04:27 PM
Q-1) How do you know you are TRULY in love with a woman?
My answer: if you DON'T know, you are NOT!!! ... one of the things that have let me know is my desire to put her needs first over mine ... another is a deep desire to take care of her heart, to do everything I can to fill her heart with love and joy and peace and security in our relationship!!! :hearts::hearts::hearts: ... it helps both of us if these desires are mutual; if they are NOT ... or if they are at FIRST, but do not remain mutual, I've learned, then our relationship is in trouble, and unless our feelings and desires toward the other return to being MUTUAL, we shouldn't try to continue on hoping that we can somehow return in time to being more than friends again in our hearts ... that this is just wishful thinking of a wounded heart still in TRUE love with the other person and needing to "let go and let God" heal the romantic wounds and bring someone else, as He knows you are ready for her, into your life and heart who WILL love you in a MUTUAL TRUE LOVE way that STAYS mutual TRUE love for both of you!!!! :hearts::hearts::hearts: ... it's, of course, OHHHHHHHHH so HARD to find that you have become a part of such a relationship, no matter how many times this has happened to you, but with God's grace and comfort and encouragement, you move on and look hopefully to the day you are in a relationship like those who have been role models to you in your life, with a TRUE LOVE that STAYS and is shared in a "last marriage relationship" ... like, for instance, Phil Keaggy and his wife, Ronald and Nancy Reagan, Patrick Swayze and Lisa Niemi, the President Bushes and their wives, and my parents, grandparents, and aunts and uncles!!! :hearts::hearts::hearts:
Q-2) What have I learned from a past marriage or past relationship?
My answer: Again, love must REMAIN two-sided to weather all the trials, storms, problems in life that you need to face together with God's help ... and that God MUST remain too at the center of your relationship and in your hearts toward each other ... in my past marriage, there were other problems too besides these needs, but those are personal, between my ex-wife and myself and God; health issues etc ... that I won't share in sensitivity to my ex-wife's heart and my love and respect for her as still my friend and sister in Christ, and my love and respect for God.
Q-3) What did you do in order to learn about what was done in your past relationship and how to catch it before it can go there again?
My answer: Well, I did a lot of praying and thinking in order to understand what went wrong and both of our parts in it ... I discovered how vulnerable my heart is when I am TRULY in love toward believing "love can conquer all" when in TRUTH this is only TRUE if you both keep having the same TRUE LOVE FEELINGS without any doubts or hesitations, but instead BAREFOOT BLESSED ASSURANCE from God about your TRUE LOVE FEELINGS and desires to FOREVER be each other's husband and wife, to FOREVER be "Barefoot Lovers, Best Friends and Life in Christ Mates" in this heaven and earth ... because I was blinded by my deep feelings of love for my ex-wife, coupled by optimistcally feeling "love conquers all", I dismissed my ex-wife's change of heart about getting married which she shared with me on the night before we got married as just typical "marriage nervousness", persuading her we should go ahead and get married, that everything would be all right, etc etc ... if I hadn't of done that, we would have avoided a lot off heartaches, disappointments, disillusionments etc ... and the final disolution of our marriage 23 years later ... but, no, at that time I just COULDN'T believe that my ex-wife and I wouldn't be like all the marriage role models I had had in my life and have a successful, life-long marriage ... so ... we did get married and we DID share a LOT of barefoot blessings in our marriage, as well as, all of the problems that became our "marriage downfall", knowing God's love and grace through it all ... so this has been a comfort too to both of us since our separation and divorce.
Q-4) What will you do differently to (if anything) to have a "Lasting Marriage Relationship"?
My answer: Try not to rush into a marriage for marriage's sake ... make sure we're BOTH still wanting to be married the night before and even on our wedding day ... no "Runaway Bride" or "Runaway Groom" feelings at ALL!!! ... and not getting married if this is not the case ... and otherwise, to ALWAYS put each other FIRST ... SECOND ONLY TO GOD ... in our hearts and desires to love one another and take care of ALL of each other's needs as a man and a woman that God created US to take care of for each other as husband andd wife!!!
Deep Question For The Men On: He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not, He Loves Me!
Posted : 13 Nov, 2010 11:13 AM
I love questions about love, because I know that people love to read what you have written about love. So � I would love to share some thoughts about love. First an foremost, unlike Arthur Fonzerelli �The Fonz�, albeit a bit slapstick, just being able to write and say the word love easily is possibly a step in the right direction. I think for many love is simple objectification. �I just love my Mom�s meat loaf�. Ok great, but perhaps what is more important is how much you recognized the time, effort, care, and sacrifice it took for Mom to prepare the meat loaf you love so much. So many relationships fail because love is objectified and taken for granted.
Love is giving and not taking, sharing and not being selfish, wanting the best for her instead of centering my world around me. Love is being thankful for all the things she has done for me from the boardroom, to the bedroom, as well as in the kitchen basement, and garage. Love is �wanting� to be there when she needs me to comfort, and protect her. Love is �choosing� to make that sacrifice when it is so hard to do so. Love is missing her when she is gone from me, even if it is just for the day. Love is being terrified of the thought of ever losing her. Love is being able to survive the pain, anguish, and agony if she does leave you, and letting her go gracefully. Love is being able to say no. Love is being able to end with love.
Deep Question For The Men On: He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not, He Loves Me!
Posted : 14 Nov, 2010 12:54 PM
I don't have much to say on this since i wonder some these things myself! But i can tell this- a man knows when he's in love when his life has a desire for a change or starts to change(e.g,he always buys food & suddenly he starts cooking for himself,he starts to hang around her place more often,he might be not always been a phone person but can't wait to her the phone ring etc). The most wonderful thing a woman brings to a man is joy & happiness without ceasing to a mans' heart.(Can i hear an amen brothers out there)!!!!!!:laugh::laugh:
