Author	Thread: I feel respected when...
Admin	I feel respected when... Posted : 6 Nov, 2010 10:57 AM It's fairly common knowledge (I think? I hope?) that respect is a huge thing for guys. When a guy doesn't feel respected in a relationship it really tears him down. Because men and women *are* different, I'm not sure that us gals have an accurate picture of what respecting a guy really looks like. We've seen bad examples in society and perhaps even in our own homes. Also, I think that what it takes for a woman to feel respected is probably somewhat different from what it takes for a guy to feel respected. So, finish the sentence and enlighten us ladies with what makes you feel respected =) I feel respected when... Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	I feel respected when... Posted : 6 Nov, 2010 04:56 PM Hopefully this needs no clarification, but a man shouldn't expect his wife to do all this for him and not reciprocate at all. That said... In conversation there should be more compliments and encouragements than complaints and nagging. Honestly, you shouldn't nag ever. How can it be constructive to a relationship to intentionally annoy someone until they do what you want? In strained relationships, this may be hard if the man doesn't already compliment you, but somebody's gotta take the first step. In areas where he is more knowledgeable than you, absolutely defer to his judgement. My roommate's fiancee insists that their family is only going to own Hondas. She'll readily admit that he knows infinitely more about cars than she does, but she refuses to budge on her stance that Hondas are the best. This also brings up another issue, which is how you discuss issues. If you disagree, support your argument with facts and reason. Sweeping generalizations like, "But I like Hondas!" and "Everybody knows Hondas are the best" are only going to frustrate a guy. If you say, "We don't have a lot of extra money, so gas mileage and reliability are really important to me when we choose a new car," he'll be able to say, "Honey, I think those are very important too. That's why I wanted us to look at the Hyundai Sonata. It gets better gas mileage than the Accord, has a much longer warranty, and costs less." Also important, ask us what some of the most important things are to us. This will look different while dating than when you're married, obviously, but if keeping the sink clean is more important to him than doing the laundry twice a week, it's important to know that and then do that. It's been said before, but it bears repeating. Husbands will feel like you're rejecting them as a man if you routinely reject their physical advances. Because of all the chemicals released afterwards, not only will both of you feel closer, but he will be more likely to go out of his way to do stuff for you. Finally, watch your nonverbal communication. None of this means anything if you look or sound resentful. Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	I feel respected when... Posted : 6 Nov, 2010 05:12 PM Goodness Tulip...how did you know all about the conversation I had with myself when I bought my car last year? :ROFL: I went with the Hyundai Sonata for all the reasons you listed, even though I really wanted a Honda Accord! Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	I feel respected when... Posted : 6 Nov, 2010 05:30 PM It's just one of my many, many gifts Ms. Pianogal. You've been happy with your purchase I hope? Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	I feel respected when... Posted : 6 Nov, 2010 05:32 PM Perhaps more importantly, were you able to snag one of the redesigned ones, or did you miss out by a couple months? Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	I feel respected when... Posted : 6 Nov, 2010 05:47 PM Oh, I've loved my Sonata! The gas mileage is good, it drives well, it's a nice quiet ride, etc. All good so far! And I put a lot of miles on my car thanks to my job. In one year, I've put 20,000 miles on it. That's one reason I needed the good warranty. Unfortunately, mine is a 2009 model, so it's the old design. :-( The new cars look a lot sleeker, but I've also heard that they have recalled some of them due to the steering wheel coming off...yikes! I actually went with the model I did because the dealership was going out of business. The car was new (never titled), but had about 4,000 miles on it because it was used by the dealership as a loaner and test drive car. They gave me a good discount because of the miles, and because they really needed to get rid of it. With that discount, a couple rebates, and a couple other dealership discounts (to help them get rid of cars more quickly), I ended up paying just a little over half of the price of the Accords I'd looked at. Oh, and since I'm a musician who plays sonatas quite frequently, I definitely need to get a bumper sticker that says "In E-flat Major" or "Op. 10, No. 1"! Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	I feel respected when... Posted : 6 Nov, 2010 06:03 PM Well that's too bad, but my dad's had a previous generation Sonata that's done great for him. I'm sure yours will do just fine. Post Reply
View Profile History	I feel respected when... Posted : 7 Nov, 2010 01:01 PM Tulip, I appreciate your extensive response here. You've given me some really helpful insight =) Pianogal, it sounds like you got a great deal on your car! I drive a 2002 Honda Civic coupe. A silver one. The silver part is VERY important! I bought it new and had a really bad experience with that!! And it has a continuously variable transmission (CVT) which I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. I really, really think that the CVT should replace automatic transmissions. They get better mileage and drive so much smoother. Depending on the time of year and road conditions, I've gotten up to 50mpg on the highway and close to 40mpg around town, which is actually better than what was quoted to me. Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	I feel respected when... Posted : 7 Nov, 2010 01:08 PM Sorry we sort of hijacked your topic, Pixy! These forums have been rather quiet the past couple days. It seems like there are quite a few new topics, but very few responses to those topics. Post Reply
View Profile History	I feel respected when... Posted : 7 Nov, 2010 01:27 PM It's fine. You hijacked it in a good way and it brought a smile to my face =) Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	I feel respected when... Posted : 7 Nov, 2010 01:47 PM The silver part is really that important Pixy? Haha you do realize you can get any car in that color, right? Post Reply

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