Author	Thread: How much information should you share about your past?
Jeremiah21 View Profile History	How much information should you share about your past? Posted : 23 Oct, 2010 07:45 AM How much information should you share about your past? Addictions, mental health issues, abuse by others, intimacy with others, credit history etc..? Do we owe it to others to be honest and forthright? Post Reply
Jeremiah21 View Profile History	How much information should you share about your past? Posted : 23 Oct, 2010 07:54 AM Unless I am engaged I will only reveal superficial information about myself. If I am planning to spend the rest of my life with this guy. I will tell only those things that will assist him in evaluating whether or not he wants to have a life with me. I will reveal credit history, assets, perhaps a little bit about my childhood in order for him to get a potrait of my personality. As far as the mental health issues are concerned I would proceed with wisdom. If I was on medication I would definately tell him. As far as bad habits are concerned I would tell him that I am a chain smoker if I was so he's not surprised especially if he has asthma. If I drank excessively he has the right to know that as well. Sometimes Christians have a problem with someone drinking on a occasion and I would want him to know so I would'nt cause a stumbling block. As far as intimate details of a relationship with someone else I think thats a bit too much information. I feel comfortable telling him about why the marriage failed in hopes that we won't keep the same pattern of destruction. My general rule of revealing information is if the Lord can get the glory from my testimony then I will reveal it. Post Reply
riveroflife1 View Profile History	How much information should you share about your past? Posted : 23 Oct, 2010 09:27 AM thinking about my earlier years, I suffered alot. I dont really know how I made it (I know God's hand was upon me) through. It was none of my doing, that's for sure. I dont mind sharing the ugly stuff in my testimony...i'm on the other side of the ugly LOL and God gets all the glory. Post Reply
View Profile History	How much information should you share about your past? Posted : 23 Oct, 2010 09:35 AM I agree, Jeremiah21 and riveroflife, if you're on the other side of your past hurts and disappointments, God can get the glory in your sharing how He's brought you through all those things to where you are now, strengthened spiritually, and closer and growing closer every day to Him, trusting and knowing and experiencing His agape love in ways you've longed to but never have until now. Steve Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	How much information should you share about your past? Posted : 23 Oct, 2010 09:51 AM It depends on the situation, but like I've said before, I don't want to hear specifics of my wife's sexual past. I think getting too specific can only cause more harm than good. A lot of other things likely need to be revealed though, since those events will likely have an affect on the spouse and the marriage. Hopefully they've been worked through already, but if not, the spouse needs a heads up that some counseling may be necessary. Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	How much information should you share about your past? Posted : 23 Oct, 2010 11:36 AM I guess maybe I'm a bit different in regards to my past. My past is pretty much boring. I don't have a sexual history to share about, I have zero debt, I only been in one relationship that stayed fairly casual, I don't drink or smoke or do drugs...yep, pretty boring. I can't think of anything about my past that I would not want him to know. The only thing about my past that might be important for him to know is the fact that there is a lot of heart disease and diabetes that runs in the family...and I seem to have inherited those genes even though I don't have any health problems yet. I would want to know anything about HIS past that might cause me to rethink the relationship. I do think that I would probably be asking the "important" questions, though, and if he became evasive, I'd know he wasn't sharing the whole truth or that he had something to hide. Post Reply
View Profile History	How much information should you share about your past? Posted : 23 Oct, 2010 02:39 PM I think we should be honest with the person God shows us we will marry anything that affects us or makes up the person that we are. Sexual abuse? That can be a trust issue - making it hard for you to trust another. If that applies to you (maybe you have worked through it and it isn't an issue anymore) then I think it should be talked about. How MUCH detail you share is up to you. That is just one example. There is always a balance, of course. Once you are saved your past is forgiven, and even sins after you have been saved can also be forgiven once we ask for it. But we also should not use scriptures and the fact that we are forgiven to 'gloss' over or leave out important information. Such as my last boyfriend not metioning that he had previously been married three times --- until I started asking about his travels. I had already figured it out, but I wanted to know what he would say, how he would say it, and even IF he would. He did, reluctantly. Post Reply
View Profile History	How much information should you share about your past? Posted : 23 Oct, 2010 02:53 PM well I feel my past formed me into who I ma now I have nothing to hide. I would answer anythiung that is asked of me if I felt the person had a need or a right to know. I would NOT offer up my sexual history unless asked and I would leave the details out. however I feel everything else is on the table and I would like to have it out in the open before i become engaged and I would like to know such things about the person I love Post Reply
Jeremiah21 View Profile History	How much information should you share about your past? Posted : 23 Oct, 2010 04:48 PM BC: Very good point about the health. I forgot to add that one. It is important he or she knows your approximate life span in case there are some hereditary issues associated with health. Post Reply
Jeremiah21 View Profile History	How much information should you share about your past? Posted : 23 Oct, 2010 04:51 PM Godslamb: A previous marriage should always be shared. If someone has something to hide I couldn't proceed with the marriage. I actually broke an engagement from a man whose family members were all known drug dealers. Believe it or not you do marry the family. I didn't want to spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulders. Can you imagine what family reunions and holidays would have been like? Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	How much information should you share about your past? Posted : 23 Oct, 2010 05:18 PM Lots and lots of presents with the occasional DEA bust? Post Reply

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