Author	Thread: Curiosity Killed the Cat
bcpianogal View Profile History	Curiosity Killed the Cat Posted : 28 Sep, 2010 11:32 AM Hi guys, I've been wondering about this for nearly 10 years, and finally am being brave enough to actually ask about it! They say that curiosity killed the cat, but I'm hoping that's not the case here!!! My question: what are some things about a young woman (say, college aged) that might keep a guy from asking her out? I'm asking because of my own experiences, and those of my sisters. Over the years, we've noticed that our friends are asked out, but we are not. One of my sisters and I both had our first-ever dates this year (we are 27 and 24). My sister is still dating that same guy, and I've not been asked out since my one and only relationship ended in mid-April. My 19 year old sister has never been on a date. I'm thinking that it may not necessarily be a BAD thing that we didn't date in college, since it's saved us a lot of heartache over the years. Still, I can only assume that there must be something about us that keeps the guys away, but I've yet to figure it out! I know that you can't tell me why no one asked ME out, but just generally speaking, what are some things that would keep you from asking a girl out? Physical characteristics? Personality traits? Attitudes? Mannerisms? What? Be specific! I'm just curious!!! Post Reply
View Profile History	Curiosity Killed the Cat Posted : 28 Sep, 2010 01:18 PM I'd say it's usually a social thing, and maybe the case with you? I dunno, maybe, maybe not. Maybe you just need to get out more and be in situations where you could meet new people or get to know acquaintences better. Could raise your chances of getting asked out by decent guys and/or give people a better idea of what you're like and that might raise their interest in pursuing you. It really doesn't take much at all really. Just little things like getting to know acquaintences better when you encounter them by asking a simple/basic question about them that you don't know. I know everybody says guys should be the ones who pursue and I don't disagree, but more girls in general could help us out by closing the distance so that we could get a better idea of what we're actually pursuing and usually the ones that are closer are the ones that get asked out more. Hope something in there helped, or at least made sense somewhat, and good luck! Post Reply
View Profile History	Curiosity Killed the Cat Posted : 28 Sep, 2010 01:26 PM Really, without getting to know you, it is hard to say why you are not getting asked out. The best we can do is guess. Brandon is right, it is a risk asking women out, and the easier you make it for us to ask you out, the more likely you are to get asked out. For me, I think the easiest way to improve your chances is to show the guy you are interested by talking to him. Don't wait for him to come up and talk to you, you take the first step and start the conversation. Of course it is still up to him to ask you out. Don't know if that would help, just my 2 cents worth. Post Reply
Rabbit32 View Profile History	Curiosity Killed the Cat Posted : 28 Sep, 2010 07:41 PM Im curious..were you avalible during your college years? Proximity is everything, consider Ruth and Boaz. You have to be where guys can see you, the inner you that is :) Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Curiosity Killed the Cat Posted : 28 Sep, 2010 07:43 PM Thanks for your responses, guys. I know you can't tell me why _I_ haven't been asked out, because you don't know me! And that's why I made it a more generalized topic. By the way, I actually do start conversations with guys, and have had plenty of guy friends through the years...but none of them asked me out! Is there anything else that would generally make you decide not to ask a girl out, or that would cause you to assume that she wouldn't accept a date invitation? Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Curiosity Killed the Cat Posted : 28 Sep, 2010 07:56 PM Rabbit, yes I was available during my college years. I was single, and I was active in several campus organizations. But your question reminded me that several times over the past 2-3 years, people have assumed that I'm actively dating. I've even had people say "Invite your boyfriend along to such-and-such." I have NO idea why they think I'm in a relationship! It's not like I'm regularly seen around town with a guy! I always respond with a surprised "What? What boyfriend? I don't have a boyfriend!" And now I'm wondering if that's one of the reasons I don't get asked out. Even though I'm friendly and talk to guys often, I don't necessarily throw myself at every living human who can anatomically be classified as "male." There seems to be no point in flirting shamelessly with a guy that I wouldn't want to go out with (in the event that the flirting actually worked!). Maybe the lack of flirting makes guys assume that I'm "taken." Maybe I need to work on the flirting issue... Post Reply
Rabbit32 View Profile History	Curiosity Killed the Cat Posted : 28 Sep, 2010 07:56 PM Alright im going to make a few inferences based off your profile and try to give you some food for thought...know that what I say, I do so in love and Im not attacking you, I recognize that you are a grown adult and have the free will to do what you please :) Well.. let me ask, why are you so picky, what is your motivation? Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Curiosity Killed the Cat Posted : 28 Sep, 2010 08:41 PM Well, this is a bit off-topic, Rabbit, but I'll go with it...I'm curious about what you have to say. Just be nice! :-) I'm picky because I have a few standards that I am just not willing to compromise on. One is obvious...the guy must be a born-again Christian who shares my fundamental beliefs. I feel that two of the others in particular (no divorcees and no non-virgins) are not unreasonable standards. I've prayed a lot about those standards. If/when God tells me that it's ok to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't meet those standards, I won't argue with Him. But so far, no "go ahead" from above! Some of the other things I'm picky about are strictly personal preference, like location (thought I'm willing to compromise on that!) and race (sorry, but I'm attracted to Caucasians...I can't help that, though I'll not rule someone out based strictly on race). Some things are health concerns, like drinking and smoking. Beyond that, I don't think I'm all that picky! Does that answer your question somewhat? Post Reply
Rabbit32 View Profile History	Curiosity Killed the Cat Posted : 28 Sep, 2010 08:58 PM I would venture to say that most men in the age range you have specified are going to be non virgins or divorcees, or both. Before I go on, I wonder what are your reasons for restricting the above stated type of men from courting you? :) Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	Curiosity Killed the Cat Posted : 28 Sep, 2010 09:58 PM I've had my first relationship and date this year too:laugh:. 25 years old. I really think that anyone with any kind of christian standard is going to have a hard time finding a good relationship these days. I only know one guy that I would really recommend to girls with a clear conscience that he wouldn't treat her like/somewhat like a slave. It's kind of sad. They are out there though, just have to have patience. I can't think of anything that would cause me to overlook a girl besides that I wasn't attracted or compatible with her. Maybe if I was super attracted and just too scared to make a move...but those are the only reasons that come to mind. :peace::peace: Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Curiosity Killed the Cat Posted : 28 Sep, 2010 10:28 PM If it were truly for health reasons, your rule should be no non-drinkers, since drinkers live longer than non-drinkers. If there are alcoholism issues in your family history, I can understand looking to avoid it, but otherwise, it's a little weird to throw out any guy who drinks at all. As far as your no non-virgins rule, I completely disagree with that one. Why are the temptations you gave into more forgivable than the temptations someone else gave into? Does Christ's blood cover physical sexual sin less than other sins? Post Reply

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