Author	Thread: Can men and women just be friends?
Admin	Can men and women just be friends? Posted : 8 Sep, 2010 06:25 PM If a guy says he's just looking for friends, does he really mean it? What does he really mean? Is it possible for men and men to form deep friendships without at least one person developing feelings for the other? Guys do you have any girls that are friends that started off friends and STAYED that way? I need viewpoints on this! :) Post Reply
Onceablumoon View Profile History	Can men and women just be friends? Posted : 8 Sep, 2010 06:47 PM Hello! I wish I could give you an easy answer for this, but like all generalized questions dealing with people, there just isn't a norm that you can fall back on. Everyone thinks and responds differently to situations and even within the personality of a single individual they could be satisfied being friends in one instance but want more when dealing with another relationship. I have two close guy friends. One is very comfortable with women and just enjoys their company without any alterior motives. When he says he just wants to be friends, he means it. Another friend of mine isn't really capable of being friends with women just for the sake of having a friend. He believes that it just doesn't work to have a female friend and keep it that way. Personally, I've noticed it difficult to keep a friendship platonic. When you enjoy spending time with that person and have things in common, I've observed that an attraction beyond friendship seems to occur between one or both involved. This however, is from personal experiences and shouldn't be generalized to apply to all situations. It's possible that the guy you're thinking about really does just want to be friends and nothing more. I would suggest that you enjoy the time you have with him, and see where things go. Constantly worrying about the "what-ifs" could lead you to missing out on a wonderful friendship. -Blu Post Reply
View Profile History	Can men and women just be friends? Posted : 8 Sep, 2010 06:53 PM Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends. Sally Albright: Why not? Harry Burns: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way. Sally Albright: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved. Harry Burns: No you don't. Sally Albright: Yes I do. Harry Burns: No you don't. Sally Albright: Yes I do. Harry Burns: You only think you do. Sally Albright: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge? Harry Burns: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you. Sally: They do not! Harry: Do too. Sally: They do not. Harry: Do too. Sally: How do you know? Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her. Sally: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive? Harry: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too. Sally: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU? Harry: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story. Sally: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then. Harry: I guess not. Sally: That's too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York. --- Harry: Would you like to have dinner? ...Just friends. Sally: I thought you didn't believe men and women could be friends. Harry: When did I say that? Sally: On the ride to New York. Harry: No, no, no, I never said that. ...Yes, that's right, they can't be friends. Unless both of them are involved with other people, then they can. ...This is an amendment to the earlier rule. If the two people are in relationships, the pressure of possible involvement is lifted. ...That doesn't work either, because what happens then is, the person you're involved with can't understand why you need to be friends with the person you're just friends with. Like it means something is missing from the relationship and why do you have to go outside to get it? And when you say "No, no, no it's not true, nothing is missing from the relationship," the person you're involved with then accuses you of being secretly attracted to the person you're just friends with, which you probably are. I mean, come on, who the hell are we kidding, let's face it. Which brings us back to the earlier rule before the amendment, which is men and women can't be friends. (From "When Harry Met Sally," just in case you didn't know that!) Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Can men and women just be friends? Posted : 8 Sep, 2010 07:01 PM Casual friends? Yes. Close friends? Nope. One always ends up interested in the other. Post Reply
View Profile History	Can men and women just be friends? Posted : 8 Sep, 2010 07:30 PM I guess that depends on what your definition of a friend is. A lot of people say 'friend' when they really mean something with zero personal depth to it like 'buddy' or 'acquaintance'. Post Reply
View Profile History	Can men and women just be friends? Posted : 8 Sep, 2010 07:48 PM Ah? Really? I have some real close boyfriends. The ones that I would not be worried that I would turn them on if I just enjoy myself like wearing shorts (I live in the hottest place on earth, shorts would be a blessing lol) or when I don't sit properly, not that I showed them on purpose, it's just sometimes accidentaly I kinda forget that they have different gender with me lol I was soooo comfy with them so sometimes I forget the fact that they're not my girlfriends. Reading this does really not encouraging =( Post Reply
Rabbit32 View Profile History	Can men and women just be friends? Posted : 8 Sep, 2010 08:19 PM Interesting, it might be immposible. Our singles group kind of fell apart because of: The women didnt want the men in our group to be interested, so they were distant The men most generally wernt interested, except one or two, but were agrivated by the "coldness" of the women. I have friends who are females, but I dont know if they like me. Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Can men and women just be friends? Posted : 8 Sep, 2010 08:35 PM I'll be honest, as a guy, it's concerning that your guy friends would easily be confused with girl friends. I have one close female friend, and I would never let her get me confused with one of her girl friends. We also live 5 hours apart, which simplifies things. Post Reply
View Profile History	Can men and women just be friends? Posted : 8 Sep, 2010 09:18 PM But that's just what I feel, like when we were having a bbq or studying together and then fell asleep on the same room (there was about 5-7 men and women), then we just slept together in the same bedroom. We did nothing sexually, we did nothing wrong. Everyone would just happy go lucky. Like yesterday, I was trying to put my shoes on, and well I had my skirt on (I was at the office), I thought no one would pay attention, while I was struggeling putting my shoes on, the my coworker (male) asked "Where are you going? Wearing high heels?" (It's the office, most women wear high heels). I jumped and was surprised that he was watching, and then I shooed him and blocked his view with my chair. To be honest, if I am with my boyfriends and they are the really close to me, at some point I would kinda "forget" that they were males. I honestly dun have in mind that they could be interested in me as a woman, tho.. Had some experiences with friends tend to be wanting more.. Ok, thats kinda contradictive haha well if I'm just really comfy with a guy, I just sometimes would forget that they are men with all the men brain and stuff. And, I never on purpose forget it, it's just automatically. But when I carry heavy things, I never forget the fact that they're men. Post Reply
View Profile History	Can men and women just be friends? Posted : 8 Sep, 2010 09:30 PM This is something I've always wondered about and with the majority, I'd have to agree that it doesn't seem to be possible..I seem to get feelings or vice- versa. Tulip, I think you're probably soo right--friends, but not close close friends. Bluemoon, there've been a cpl situations in general that made me question a guy's motive..like if I'm hanging out with a guy buddy and things start to feel strange or awkward, ya know? And I think it's interesting about your one guy friend that enjoys hanging with women..he obviously thinks its possible then I guess.. Pixy, pretty cool of you to quote that! I've never seen the movie but may chk it out now haha. I guess you agree with harry? I'm afraid of that too, rabbit, being cold to ward off guys just b/c I don't think we can be friends w/out some other motives..it's a shame ur group had to break up b/c of that. I guess I'll do as you suggested, bluemoon, and just live in the present of friendships and not get too caught up in the what-ifs..that's good advice :) Post Reply
View Profile History	Can men and women just be friends? Posted : 8 Sep, 2010 09:40 PM Yes, I do agree w/ Harry, I'm afraid. And you should watch the movie! It has a couple slightly inappropriate places, but it's not too bad. And it's super funny! My mom and I always laugh so hard when we watch it together! I've seen it so many times! Post Reply

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