Since this is a "Ask a guy" post (I put it on this section since I have only read it on men's profile of "looking for that Proverbs 31 kind of woman"). Okay then.. Before we go on, let's read what Proverbs of 31 is:
31:1 These are the solemn words which King Lemuel's mother said to him:
31:2 "You are my own dear son, the answer to my prayers. What shall I tell you?
31:3 Don't spend all your energy on sex and all your money on women; they have destroyed kings.
31:4 Listen, Lemuel. Kings should not drink wine or have a craving for alcohol.
31:5 When they drink, they forget the laws and ignore the rights of people in need.
31:6 Alcohol is for people who are dying, for those who are in misery.
31:7 Let them drink and forget their poverty and unhappiness.
31:8 "Speak up for people who cannot speak for themselves. Protect the rights of all who are helpless.
31:9 Speak for them and be a righteous judge. Protect the rights of the poor and needy."
31:10 How hard it is to find a capable wife! She is worth far more than jewels!
31:11 Her husband puts his confidence in her, and he will never be poor.
31:12 As long as she lives, she does him good and never harm.
31:13 She keeps herself busy making wool and linen cloth.
31:14 She brings home food from out-of-the-way places, as merchant ships do.
31:15 She gets up before daylight to prepare food for her family and to tell her servant girls what to do.
31:16 She looks at land and buys it, and with money she has earned she plants a vineyard.
31:17 She is a hard worker, strong and industrious.
31:18 She knows the value of everything she makes, and works late into the night.
31:19 She spins her own thread and weaves her own cloth.
31:20 She is generous to the poor and needy.
31:21 She doesn't worry when it snows, because her family has warm clothing.
31:22 She makes bedspreads and wears clothes of fine purple linen.
31:23 Her husband is well known, one of the leading citizens.
31:24 She makes clothes and belts, and sells them to merchants.
31:25 She is strong and respected and not afraid of the future.
31:26 She speaks with a gentle wisdom.
31:27 She is always busy and looks after her family's needs.
31:28 Her children show their appreciation, and her husband praises her.
31:29 He says, "Many women are good wives, but you are the best of them all."
31:30 Charm is deceptive and beauty disappears, but a woman who honors the LORD should be praised.
31:31 Give her credit for all she does. She deserves the respect of everyone.
Lets' mention names here. I think Mary the mother of Jesus should be categorized as one, let's take her for an example. She was the woman of God's grace, the only woman who had the privilege of having Jesus in her womb wow the one and only, so along the history, she is the only one and people would never mention other name.
Over the verses, I have not done too many researches on what happened on the time the chapter was written, so the only fact I knew was the verse 23, since we all do know Joseph through the Bible. In my opinion, if Joseph did was well known and one of the leading citizens, then Jesus would not be born in a manger? If i was one of the leading citizens, then i would not want my child to be born in a manger, I believe that even if it was time for Mary to give birth, but at least they could do better than a manger? Even there was nobody recorded in the Bible to give birth in a manger?
Another verse of 24, did Mary make clothes and belts, and sells them to merchants? Again, I do not put any research here, so I have no idea of what Mary exactly did while she was here on earth. Maybe she did make clothes and belts and sell them to merchants, maybe not.
I am not saying that God's words are false, God's words is yes and amen, truly it is Jesus Himself. I am just trying to say that sometimes God's Words are parable and implicitly, not literally. For example, verse 24, if a woman did not make clothes and belts and sell it to merchants, then she is not fulfilling the Proverbs 31? Another example, Mother Theresa, she did not do the Proverbs 31:24 but she could be categorized as one of the most wanted wife (if she was not a nun). So, I mean, Proverbs 31 should be mean more than just the literal.
Since it does not have literal meaning, would you guys kindly explain what it means? Especially for you guys who wrote that you guys are looking for that Proverbs 31 kind of woman?
Plus, what is being wise in your point of view? - Sisters, you may answer this question as well if you do not mind sharing your thoughts ;)
The reason I put this topic up is, well I have to lead the topic about "wisdom" in the sharing group next week (just being told about it was my turn to share today, was a little panic of not too expert on the topic so opinions on this topic would help me alot) and I barely have ideas on that, never share that before, plus there was one point I should share in the topic about "the wisdom of the wife", I was thinking why I did not share it here lol so, if you have anything in mind and you turn out to be reading this post, please do write whatever you have in mind, I would really appreciate it. More opinions the better for me to share it next week hehe.. Thanks before. God bless.
Great post by the way. Its more like saying "Is any guy that is looking for a proverbs 31 woman willing to handle ALL of what a proverbs 31 woman has to offer?" That's what I view as the important question. Because as a womans point of view, a proverbs 31 woman is an amazing woman! Good luck any guy that is looking for such a woman of wisdom. Not that is impossible because I know many who I define a proverbs 31 woman. And like you said mary the mother of jesus can be in that broad list. Its just depends if any guy looking for such a woman of God truly want or can handle such a wise woman. Being a wise woman does not only depend on any type of education both spiritually or physically. A wise woman is defined by her relationship with God and His holy word. A woman who is as much true to herself as true to God and in Gods holy will.
Proverbs 31 is an example of the kind of wife a man should seek. And while it is quite specific in places, I think we can define some qualities from those things and then apply them to today's woman. Here's a little list:
1. Her husband can have confidence in her. In other words, he knows that she is busy doing what she needs to be doing. He doesn't have to worry about what's going on at home while he's at work. He knows his wife isn't wasting the day away or stirring up trouble. He can focus on what God has called him to do without such distractions as wondering how much credit card debt his wife is incurring at the mall.
2. Her husband lacks nothing of value, meaning that his wife cares for his needs. While he probably brings in the bulk of the income, she is the one who puts that money to its best use to make sure that he has what he needs. This includes things such as making healthy, budget-conscious meals and mending his clothes (or taking them to someone else to be mended).
3. "She brings him good, not harm, ALL [emphasis mine] the days of her life." This means that she doesn't try to kill him in his sleep. Haha... Really, to me this means that she places his needs above her own. If she has a choice to look after herself or to look after him, she chooses him. She's willing to sacrifice to do him good. And this is ALL the days of her life. In other words, she is NOT someone who will only do her husband good while times are good. She will earnestly seek to do him good even after a terrible argument and even when they have financial stress or health issues... This could also apply to the issue of sex and not denying her husband. Having sex with one's husband does bring him could, and denying him sex does harm him... Maybe not dramatically and maybe not overnight, but it can really harm a guy emotionally to not have regular sex with his wife.
4. She gets the products she needs to get things done and is eager about getting things done! While we may not be selecting wool and flax, there are other things that we do need to be selecting and then eager about using! Such as cleaning products =)
5. She brings in food from afar, like a merchant ship. To me, this means that she cares about quality and is willing to invest the time to bring her family quality foods. This could mean starting your own garden or maybe just investing in a really good recipe book to help you spice things up and provide your family with the best food (on a budget!).
6. She gets up early and gets started caring for her family right away. In other words, she doesn't sleep in until noon and then watch soap operas while the kids run wild. She adopts a sleep schedule appropriate to the needs of her family.
7. She makes some major purchases and investments. And I don't think this means that she doesn't consult with hubby. I would say that if a budget has been decided upon by a husband and wife that he should be able to trust his wife with working out the finer details of that. If the couple chooses to invest a certain amount in property, the wife should be capable of carrying through that decision. She should also be capable of any follow-through. Investments do require a certain amount of babysitting! This also alludes to the fact that she has what we'd call a "home business," meaning that, while her primary duty is at home with her family, she has found some little ways to make money and help the family out financially.
8. She's a strong girl and goes about her tasks vigorously. She's SO not lazy. And she's not afraid of what some people say are "man tasks," such as mowing the lawn and some of those more physical things.
9. She trades and works late into the night. Again, this alludes to a home business. Maybe she organizes a clothing swap at church or in her neighbourhood so that you can trade in clothes that no longer fit for ones that do. Maybe she makes jam and trades some it for some her neighbour's homemade spaghetti sauce. Trading can be a really amazing way to stretch a budget, but it does require time and organization.
10. She sews. But I don't think this mean that every woman has to sew. I do think it's worthwhile, but I think we could broaden this to mean that makes what he family needs v. just buying stuff. In other words, use your creative talents for the good of your family v. playing around all day and then buying stuff because you don't have the time. Do you paint well? Then do some painting yourself instead of purchasing expensive art? Are you good at photography? Maybe you could take your own portraits of the kids instead of paying a photo studio to do the job.
11. She clothes her family in quality clothes. I think I really good application of this is that she helps with the clothing selections. The teenage daughter isn't permitted to go buy immodest clothing with daddy's credit card. Her mother is there, guiding her choices. The wife takes responsibility for making sure that her hubby and kids are dressed appropriately.
12. She clothes herself well too and makes sure that the house is "clothed." Sheets are changed regularly... Draperies are cleaned... Slipcovers are put on sofas if they need them... And the marriage bed is made into a sexy place! Haha... Fabrics can really set the mood, you know?
13. Her husband is respected. Which means that she is too!! Because, seriously, does anyone really respect a man whose wife is not worthy of respect?
14. The next verse alludes to a home business again. She is using her creative talents to make stuff that she sells for profit. This could be clothing, or jam, or paintings... Or, things like preparing tax returns or blogging for profit...
15. She has strength and dignity. And she's not stressed about the future. She is light-hearted because she is sure of who God is in her life and confident that He is the ultimate provider. While she does budget well and use her creative talents to save money and earn money, she maintains her dignity while doing it. She's not so stressed about not having enough money that she compromises Biblical principles to bring in extra cash.
16. She is wise and she instructs. I think this is a big part of the Titus 2 command... to teach the younger women. She should be training up her own children and taking younger gals under her wing (as the Lord leads). As far as what wisdom is, simply, I think it is knowing what is right in God's eyes and then carrying through with that. It requires discernment, prayer, and time pouring over God's words. A wise woman seeks counsel from the Lord first, not from Oprah or beauty magazines. She lets God guide her and then passes on her lessons learned to others.
17. She takes care of what needs to be done at home and is not idle. This includes just about every aspect of homemaking and child-rearing, I would say... as well as nurturing her marriage. She's not a slacker. And this could apply to such little things as making the decision to read less fiction in favour of reading a book on marriage or raising children. She's not selfish with her time. If she has a block of time, she is using it for the good of her home and family rather than always just being self-indulgent.
18. Her children and family bless and praise her. And you know how kids love to whine... so she must be pretty great if her children have good things to say about her! Again, she is worthy of respect.
19. She does noble things. One thing that this means is that she practices Biblical morals... Not just that she IS noble, but that she DOES noble things. As the saying goes, compassion is active. Saying that you feel sorry for you neighbour who just got laid off and is struggling to put food on the table is one thing. Calling his wife up saying that you'll be by in an hour to pick up a grocery list from her (and then taking care of her needs) is another.
20. She fears the Lord. Her relationship with God comes before her relationship with her fleeting outer self. And a wise man will value her for such things as her fear in the Lord, rather than her fleeting outer self. But the responsibility isn't all on the man here! If a woman wants to be valued for more than her physical beauty, she needs to have something worth valuing =)
21. She lives a life worthy of rewards and praise.
Anyway, that's my 2 cents! Hope that helps answer your question a little!
Thanks for replying. Ack I did not realize that it was a very long writing I posted there lol no wonder it felt kinda dizzy after writing it. Pixy, no worries for typos, the content is more important than the package ;)
Ok.. I have not heard opinions from guys.. Yet. Especially those who are looking for one, what do you guys think? We, ladies (especially me for the deadline lol), are waiting for your opinion! :)
I'm just shooting off the cuff here, but this is what the proverb generally boils down to in my opinion. (not taken literally sometimes)
31:11 Her husband puts his confidence in her, and he will never be poor.
- By placing his confidence in his wife, she will never let him down, because he loves her unconditionally.
31:12 As long as she lives, she does him good and never harm.
-At least not intentionally!
31:13 She keeps herself busy making wool and linen cloth.
She makes sure that the family is clothed and has bedding. But taken in a non literal sense, perhaps meaning she busies herself with matters of her family and not her own agenda. (This may come off as selfish but that is what EVERY christian is called to do, put others needs before their own.)
31:14 She brings home food from out-of-the-way places, as merchant ships do.
- She finds ways to give the family sustenance even if it is a journey across town to the Pizzaria.
31:15 She gets up before daylight to prepare food for her family and to tell her servant girls what to do.
-Again in the housewife situation (which was mainly the only situation back then), she busies herself with her work in supporting the family and takes pride in it.
31:16 She looks at land and buys it, and with money she has earned she plants a vineyard.
She is savvy, and intelligent, makes decisions that benefit herself and others.
31:18 She knows the value of everything she makes, and works late into the night.
-She is not frivolous, nor lazy. She doesnt go out to macys and spend 500 dollars on a bag, then go home and sleep.
31:19 She spins her own thread and weaves her own cloth.
-Sewing would be a good skill to have when your husband rips a shirt :)
31:20 She is generous to the poor and needy.
-Serving perhaps or giving to charities.
31:21 She doesn't worry when it snows, because her family has warm clothing.
She is confident in her family's security at home and in the lord.
31:22 She makes bedspreads and wears clothes of fine purple linen.
-She takes care of herself, and still woos her husband. Keeps the romance alive.
31:24 She makes clothes and belts, and sells them to merchants.
-Maybe she has her own business?
31:25 She is strong and respected and not afraid of the future.
-She isn't shaken by the attacks of the devil.
31:26 She speaks with a gentle wisdom.
-She's not a 'know it all'.
I could have gone in more depth with these and I apologize if it doesn't help. Its just late and im tired XP
@comeandlive- I think how you've summed it up is great! It's REALLY refreshing to hear a guy's point of view on Proverbs 31 that is accurate. When a lot of guys are questioned, they can't seem to come up with a response. Or, if they do, it strays a lot from what the Bible actually says! A lot of guys translate "Proverbs 31 woman" to "superwoman" but then don't think of this superwoman in Biblical terms.
My ex-boyfriend is a case-in-point here. Were were discussing sexual expectations and he mentioned that he would like to have sex 5 times a day (once married). He wanted to do it first thing in the morning, when he came home for lunch, as soon as he got home from work, after dinner, and then again right before bed. And I was kind of horrified by that and expressed that to him!
His response? That a Proverbs 31 woman would have sex 5 times a day with her husband! I asked him how exactly he got that from Proverbs 31 and he went on to liken the Proverbs 31 woman to a superwoman who essentially is a sex slave, maid, and chef. And while not denying her husband sexually and keeping the house clean and cooking meals are all certainly aspects of being a good wife, my ex-boyfriend seemed to be taking those 3 things to the extreme and completely forgetting about the many other things that a woman needs to be doing.
Proverbs 31 woman does NOT = whatever a guy's fantasy of his own personal superwoman is! Really, Mrs. Proverbs 31 is quite busy and probably does not have time for 5 sex sessions a day! Not quality, God-glorifying, intimacy-building ones anyway!
To be honest when I think of a proverbs 31 woman I do not think about sex.I think about a woman who brings respect to her husband.Honor, respect, and caring for the families needs are very important to her.She can work if she wants too.In the 31 chapter it seems as if she works to help out.
I gotta be honest, the first time I read in men's profile bout they were looking for Proverbs 31 kind of women, I was like whoa.. I was not sure that those kind of women did exist, I mean, if we took verse by verse litterally, I was pretty sure that no woman on this earth could fit in that description. How many women on this earth made their own clothes and sold it to manufacturers? Or having their husbands as well known like what it was mentioned there? Then I asked the Lord and came to a conclusion of it could not be translated as literal as it was written. So.. Yeah now I do know that Proverbs 31 kind of women do exist, like my lovely sisters here lol and it is not us, but it's Jesus inside us =) and I pray for my brothers here to get that Proverbs 31 kind of wife as well ;-)
Anyway, it's very interesting to see what you guys have in mind! Very interesting. Plus, it did not cross my mind about sex lol anyway, thanks for reminding, it is important after marriage, rite? Lol :-D
Sex is important because it "makes two, one flesh" and it unifies the marriage physically and emotionally. But five times a day?? thats crazy haha. Especially after work? Talk about being tired! and then when you have a little one to take care of thats completely out of the question haha.
I wouldn't take any of it too literally. Like someone said, I've never met anyone like that. Not even close. I think it's just describing a woman that is devoted to her husband and family. Self-sacrificing, trustworthy, responsible, and loving. The "spirit" of the verse, and not the necessarily the "letter". And if you aren't being a superman, then don't demand a superwoman. If you really are being "super" you wouldn't be "demanding" anything anyway. I guess some guys/girls like to think they're superhuman though....maybe that's the problem.
