Okay � You�re still there, good, because usually by now the white guys start to leave � :laugh: ... But really ...
Ethnicity truly doesn�t matter to me and I�ve talked to guys across the whole spectrum. However, this problem only arrises when I talk to white guys, I�ve had varying responses like, �you know I could never introduce you to my parents, right?� Or, �I just wanted to know what it would be like,� as if dating another ethnicity would give them magical powers. When I go out and meet people, guys will talk to my white girlfriends, but seem to overlook me. Now, I�m wondering if that it because:
�black� is simply unattractive to them,
they fear the culture is different,
they assume I will be an �angry black woman,�
they are intimidated by me,
they�re scared I won�t like them because they are white?
I maybe overanalyzing the situation too much, maybe I�m just straight up ugly and boring and that�s why they�re not interested� :goofball:
And no need to say "they're the one missing out," lol, because I know God has someone in store for me. :MrT: "I pity the fool!" (ah, I had to, never thought I'd use that emodicon!)
So I guess my question is, why do white men not seem to be interested in me?
:stop: For the brothas reading I have nothing against you, I�m open to anyone as long as they are God fearing and it is evident by their fruit.
I think maybe it is just the men you have met. I am the "parents" generation and it would not bother me if my son brought you to meet the family. I think you are a lovely young lady and any man would be lucky to have you. Any man close to your age, that is. I really am not a dirty old man. LOL. I just hate prejudice in any form.
I think ideas like "angry black woman" or about asian or other stupid idea some people have against other races come from ignorance and lake of contact from other races... it's a shame that we call ourself Christian and still some of us are that closed minded...
TLSmiles, I hear ya girl! I,too, am searching for God's man and the packaging doesn't matter.
However, the "packaging" does seem to matter to a lot of guys. My thoughts on the topic are that there is a major fear factor for men and it is not just about the race of the woman. Her looks, her shape, her outward appearance matters to them because they are concerned about what the other guys are going to say about them and think of them. Unfortunately these social insecurities apply to quite a few of the men who espouse to be committed to Christ.
Obviously not all Godly men fall into this category but quite a few do.
I'm sure I am going to catch a bit of flack for stating this opinion but I'm going to put it out there. It's an observation made after 51 years of living. Peach
Thanks for the responses! I guess it really is a mixture of everything. I think it is sad that this still goes on, even within the Christian community.
as if dating another ethnicity would give them magical powers. LOL! :ROFL:
You are a beautiful woman!...but I am 51 and you 21; could I call you a "age-ist" ?...lol Different people have different preferences; height, weight, age, and yes skin color. In fact I find dark skinned women extremely attractive. And yes I did have a black girlfriend for a while. And yes it did pose some challenges, but we did so laugh and have a good time! It was the differences in culture, how we perceived life, and how we dealt with things that stood out to me more than color.
It has been my experience in relationships with black people that I get along great with those who do not see differences in color as a problem and don't stereo type me as thinking a certian way about them. In fact we get so close we can make racial jokes to one another and laugh.
But if the issue of color is "taboo" ; then it has been made to big a issue and gets in the way of real relationship!
A word of advice from a older brother in the Lord, one who has friends of color:
Do NOT make color a issue! Forget you are black; I'll remind you, and I'll forget I am white and you can remind me! it is not something you will lose if you forget it!...lol.
We are a product of "our upbringing". Also what The Media tells us we should be "doing". My Father was Cuban and my Mother was Puerto Rican. I have "Black" in my Ancestory. The Latin Culture does not even"see" a Color Problem...it just does not exist. Skin Shade was more like "Flavors".
I am sure that you've come across those of "small minds" that propagate racism. Ignore them!
Focus on those that Shine their Christian Light at you. Be yourself.
The farther south you go in the US the more race seems to matter is what i have noticed. For me race means nothing but i grew up around a lot of black people so i never really understood racists.
What you said in your post is what black women say about black men were i live now. The black men were i live now will not date black women and the things you listed is the reasons the men give for it.
From reading your profile i get you are very intelligent which would scare off many men.
As a southern man, I think you have your facts way off. I know many more prejudiced people from the north than I do from the south, and I live here.
Go to New York, then come down to Texas. It is like stepping into a nicer, friendlier place. And New York isn't bad compared to some northern cities. I have traveled the USA extensively, and you can find bigots wherever you go.
Those kinds of generalizations are wrong no matter what the subject.
I've come back to this post to read what others have said. And the screen comes up in such a way that I have to scroll down to read the rest of your topic post. So the only thing that comes on the screen at first is : "I'm black"
And my first internal response when I read it is "so what". Hopefully this will give you some insight into another persons mind.
Ok, here comes the tough love part:
As a white person in this present society I want to forget, not notice ,not care, not see that you are black, I just want to relate to you as a person; and it just ticks me off when people feel they need to remind me of their color....#1) I can see that you are black and #2) I DON'T CARE!!!!!!
Hope your feeling the love!
My freinds and I can kid each other about height, weight, age,....and yes...COLOR.....because we are friends; and some of those aren't even Christians!
Oh no, I feel some more advice coming on :laugh:
Never NEVER ever EVER blame ANYTHING on your color; it will only produce a chip on you shoulder that others will have to get around to have relationship with you.
I hope you have not viewed me as insensitive; I hope you know my answers are real, honest and in love. I don't see you as the kind of person who wants others to tell you only what they think you want to hear. So I have tried not to be one of those!...lol
