Author Thread: why you should have platonic female friends!
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why you should have platonic female friends!
Posted : 2 Jul, 2010 08:53 PM

Sadly, there are many women who are craving love, affection, security, etc., and letting these cravings be the driving force in their search for a boyfriend/husband. I think a lot of this stems from how a woman was raised... I think it is also the result of women marrying later and of being less certain that they'll find "the one."



So, what do these women do? They attach themselves to any guy who will satisfy their cravings. Bad boys... Non-Christian boys... Boys who only want to use them and have sex w/ them...



How can you, as men, help out? Simply, by being a brother in Christ to the women around you. Your interaction w/ a woman should not begin and end w/ determining her suitability as a future mate. Biblically, your responsibility to your sisters in Christ goes far beyond that. I'm not talking about being "friends w/ privileges" here; I'm talking about caring for women w/in the church in the same fashion that you might care for a sibling. And I'm talking about modeling what a Godly man is, so that women can better understand what their standard should be.



It's a tragedy when a woman feel like she "has to" become romantically (and often sexually) involved w/ a guy just to get a hug or to have a listening and sympathetic ear.

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why you should have platonic female friends!
Posted : 2 Jul, 2010 09:50 PM

i understand all what you said perfectly... my friend.. but i prefer not say nothing

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why you should have platonic female friends!
Posted : 2 Jul, 2010 10:14 PM

Well, I'm glad it was understandable! Know that I'm praying for you, Yoshua and that you can message me any time you want/need to!

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why you should have platonic female friends!
Posted : 3 Jul, 2010 06:31 AM

I agree! It annoys me when a guy says that being 'just friends' is no fun for him. I don't want to date anyone that isn't my friend, so I wouldn't want to be friends with a guy who thinks that being just friends is no fun.

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klmartin62

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why you should have platonic female friends!
Posted : 3 Jul, 2010 08:46 AM

Part of the problem is that when you are friends with a woman, many times they put you in the "Just friends" category and there is no way out of it if you develop feelings for her.



Men are different than women, we never block an option when it comes to romance. We can be friends with a woman for 10 years and still want to date her. With most women, that would not be an option. After a few months on the friend list, you move to the brother list.



That is why I tell women that I might develop an interest in that we can be friends for now, and I remind them it could be only temporary every time it is brought up.



Love and grace,

Leon

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why you should have platonic female friends!
Posted : 3 Jul, 2010 01:57 PM

To you women that I just write too. You really live to far away for me to be more than just friends.

If you live more than 250 miles we will be just friends.

I am ok with being just friends, I have friends all over the world. I have met no one close to home.

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stormcountry33

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why you should have platonic female friends!
Posted : 4 Jul, 2010 12:14 AM

:bouncy:Pixy,

I agree and it bothers me that men would treat women that way...however I have seen where women put up with that behavior becasue they choose to. They don't want to venture out of that relationship because they are afraid of what is out there and just like Leon said, and I have been placed in that category too often, it is hard to try and develop a friendship then have "feelings" develope and yet even though you have been caring and understanding...truly being a friend, she is just not "into" you because she is still looking for that rough/tough guy. The same guy that she just left!!! There is a young woman that I have been friends with for roughly 8 years. She has a child with another man and they live together. She has turned down two of his marriage proposals yet she will not leave him...I feel it is because when she needs him financially, emotionally, or sexually she is able to use him for that...when he mistreats her she simply creates space between them and takes the mindset of well I have my daughter....she is willing to put up with his antics becasue when they aren't an issue she can get what she needs out of the relationship. I know of Christian and non-Christian woman who do this same thing. I have been her friend for 8 years, like I said, and I honestly feel like even though I have "been" there for her, she has never seen me a anything more than a friend. I don't think she has even gave any thought to the potential a possible relationship could bring. So I agree that we guys shouldn't try to "reach out" just to gain some ground on a possible relationship however, women to quit playing some of the games they play. Sorry, but I've been place in that friendship/brother category everytime...so its getting old always being the friend! Thanks for the post Pixy..

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why you should have platonic female friends!
Posted : 4 Jul, 2010 08:27 AM

hi everyone,

I totally agree with Leon, I think some women have some boxes with labels 'friends' 'dates' and so, in which we put guys. But I guess it works both ways, doesn't it?

And Pixy, there are men who are perfectly fine with being a friend. Maybe you haven't met them yet.

I'd say the communication between two people is always the key. But unfortunately, one cannot prevent the disappointment as when one person wants to be friends while the other one develops some romantic feelings.

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klmartin62

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why you should have platonic female friends!
Posted : 4 Jul, 2010 03:45 PM

Just for the sake of clarity, I do have many women who are friends and nothing more. I just refuse to have my options taken from me because I am being kind.



Much love,

Leon

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LincolnAdams

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why you should have platonic female friends!
Posted : 4 Jul, 2010 09:36 PM

I'm willing to have platonic lady friends, but whenever I think I've developed a good bond women have this tendency to go, well, completely bats to the poops insane on me, or completely frigid. The response is kind of comical at times.



In spite of it, I still hope to meet new girls as just friends, which could lead to something more or not, but my logic here is even if there was no romantic chemistry, she might have a relative or a cousin who could indeed have such chemistry. Regardless, my intentions are always benign, so maybe a lot of women just have a hard time believing that because they've been burned by men before.



BTW pixy, what is with the pasty white photos? You look like you just stepped out of a coffin. LOL :goofball:

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why you should have platonic female friends!
Posted : 5 Jul, 2010 01:04 AM

@Lincoln- I apologize for my appearance. The pictures have been removed.

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