Author Thread: Can I tell a guy I like him?
Admin


Can I tell a guy I like him?
Posted : 24 May, 2010 02:52 AM

Really? Is that ok or not ok?

In real life and online. Can I say something like "hey, I like you, from what I know of you it appears you're funny and interesting and smart and attractive. I see there being a potential for a relationship should we want one. If you return the sentiments feel free to invite me out, with your friends or on a single date. I will accept." ?



Or, is that unacceptable for a woman and evidence that God clearly hasn't sanctified me enough?

Post Reply



View Profile
History
Can I tell a guy I like him?
Posted : 24 May, 2010 09:39 AM

I know I'm not a guy... BUT... Here are my 2 cents anyway =)

I would not go so far as to say that it's unacceptable. (And as far as not being sanctified "enough," who is?! It's a process. Nobody is sanctified "enough" this side of Heaven!) I would say that it's not ideal, in my opinion.

Because God designed men to be leaders and to be the head of the household, I like to see a prospective mate exhibit the qualities necessary to fulfill those roles... And I think that one of those is that he is able to take the initiative in the relationship. I want to know that he's not passive... and that he's able to be bold and courageous.

That said, I do recognize that some guys are really shy, or maybe they're really certain that the object of their affection isn't attracted to them and feel sure that they'd be rejected... So... If I was really attracted to a guy and several months had gone by without him initiating anything, then I would probably start dropping fairly big hints... perhaps not quite as forthright as what you said above, but something along those lines!

Post Reply

Tulip89

View Profile
History
Can I tell a guy I like him?
Posted : 24 May, 2010 09:55 AM

Like Pixy said, men need to be assertive, courageous leaders. If you're dropping strong hints, and he isn't picking up on them, then either he just isn't that into you, or he doesn't have the intestinal fortitude to make a decision. With all the stuff that life throws at couples, do you really want a man who let fear control his life so much that you had to ask him out yourself?

Post Reply

bcpianogal

View Profile
History
Can I tell a guy I like him?
Posted : 24 May, 2010 10:07 AM

I know I'm a girl, but I agree with Pixy and Tulip.

Post Reply



View Profile
History
Can I tell a guy I like him?
Posted : 24 May, 2010 04:28 PM

but, I'm not talking about asking him out. Just putting the ball in his court, and telling him there's a ball, and that I'd like be willing to tennis if he chooses to serve. I'm fairly sure that most men I know have told me that they never get the 'hints' women drop them, that they need things strait forward. Aren't we really sort of being silly girls by hoping that they see our hidden messages?

Post Reply



View Profile
History
Can I tell a guy I like him?
Posted : 24 May, 2010 09:58 PM

yep sounds silly, people can't read minds. People need to quit beating around the bush and instead, say what they want. I want some fruit, who's next saying what they want?:rolleyes:

Post Reply



View Profile
History
Can I tell a guy I like him?
Posted : 25 May, 2010 03:20 AM

briochick, that's a good question.

And there's no simple answer to it....



I am rather shy and I think I usually try not to show men I like them - it's a kind of 'protective measure' I guess. And why make it easier for them anyway? they claim to be 'hunters' - I want to see that :P



And guys are not the best mind readers, that's true. They rarely get hints.



But on the other hand, I once tried being straight forward. I wrote to a man that I simply find him insanely good looking and that I would love to get a chance to find out wheteher his 'inside' was equally attractive as 'outside'.

And what?

He never replied!

I guess he didn't like my saying so ;)



What's the conclusion then?

Any men here?

Post Reply

Tulip89

View Profile
History
Can I tell a guy I like him?
Posted : 25 May, 2010 08:23 AM

Marianna, there's a lot it could have been. Maybe he is one of the many inactive users on this site. Maybe he meant to write back, but ended up forgetting. Maybe he saw stuff on your profile that he didn't like. You can't immediately jump to the conclusion that he didn't like being messaged.



Finally, if you continually keep guys from being able to figure out that you like them, what can you really expect them to do? Wine and dine a girl who is showing no interest in them in a desperate attempt to win her over?

Post Reply



View Profile
History
Can I tell a guy I like him?
Posted : 25 May, 2010 11:43 AM

hey Tulip89, thanks for your post :)



I have only said I TRY not to show my feelings. But it certainly does not imply I am successful in that - I usually can't really help blushing or getting my tongue twisted when I'm around a man I like :) And I smile a lot, too, whether I want it or not.

It's definitely not like that I have a face made of stone! That is simply not possible :)

But I do wish I didn't blush :P all I mean it would be good to be able to control one's reactions. I guess being so openly into someone is not so attractive to them after all? or am I wrong here?



And the other thing about this message - I can't imagine that he would find it offensive or abusive in any way. I suppose everybody likes a bit of flattery every now and then. Maybe he didn't like the blunt delivery? How would you as a man feel about receiving such message?



cheers!

m.

Post Reply

Tulip89

View Profile
History
Can I tell a guy I like him?
Posted : 25 May, 2010 03:08 PM

It entirely depends on the woman who sent the message. If I liked her profile, I would like the message. If she didn't seem like someone I would want to get to know, then I wouldn't like it.

Really though, if I got a message from any woman right now, I'd be incredibly annoyed because it clearly says in my profile that I am only on here for the forums.

Post Reply

DontHitThatMark

View Profile
History
Can I tell a guy I like him?
Posted : 25 May, 2010 07:01 PM

I don't know about the rest of the guys...but I don't like jumping around at "hints"...I get them enough, but I'm not moving anywhere unless someone can just be honest. "Hints" feel too much like manipulation....or something. I don't see anything wrong with telling someone you like them.





:peace::peace:

Post Reply

Page : 1 2