Author	Thread: Should I elope?
Admin	Should I elope? Posted : 11 May, 2010 08:34 PM (I wasn't quite sure which forum this would fit in best, so just decided to put it here =) I'd love input from the ladies as well, though!) So, I'm about 80% sure that I want to elope v. having a wedding... for a few different reasons, one of which is a bit complicated... But anyway, someone pointed out to me awhile back that eloping is not Biblical (in his opinion). And I've asked a couple people since then and haven't really found anyone who concurs with his opinion. And I don't really concur with his opinion either... BUT... I still sometimes wonder if eloping is the right thing to do?? This person who shared his opinion about eloping with me feels that it is not Biblical because he thinks that marriage is similar to baptism in that it should be a public profession. He feels that the speaking of the vows ought to have the church as a witness, for purposes of accountability mainly. He also pointed out that marriage ceremonies in Biblical times were not done in secret. So, I'm wondering what all of you think? Do you think there is any Biblical reason why an actual wedding is better than eloping? Do you think eloping would be wrong in God's eyes in any way? And, if the woman wants to elope, but the man prefers an actual wedding, should the woman submit and have a wedding? Post Reply
View Profile History	Should I elope? Posted : 11 May, 2010 08:39 PM Biblical reason? none that i could think of. I just wouldn't do it because it would be hurtful to the people that care most about me in my life to not try and invite them to be there and be a part of it, even if they aren't crazy about the idea. Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Should I elope? Posted : 12 May, 2010 12:07 AM I do not support eloping. Why? I like wedding receptions. There are bound to be plenty of people like me (at least in that regard) out there. Post Reply
Brandy774 View Profile History	Should I elope? Posted : 12 May, 2010 05:32 AM I have been married before but I would still want a wedding. Nothing hugh or outlandish as if it was my first time. However the people we love most should be there to witness, support, and celebrate this life time commitement my fiance and I are making. Post Reply
View Profile History	Should I elope? Posted : 12 May, 2010 10:51 AM Well, I consider eloping a shortcut and it has been my experience that shortcuts never go as planned. Shortcuts are either rushed, there are unexpected consequences, and are typically not a good idea. If 2 people love each other enough to be married, why not want to take the time to plan a wedding? Why not share your expression of love with others in front of God? I don't know of any Biblical commandment that states you can't elope, but I'm really not for it. Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Should I elope? Posted : 12 May, 2010 11:02 AM I'm not sure there's any Biblical reason NOT to elope, but I personally don't think it's a good idea. 1) A lot of people would likely be hurt/disappointed if you didn't have a "real" wedding. 2) Eloping gives people something to gossip about...why did they elope, was there a reason for a hasty wedding, did the families not approve of the marriage, etc. 3) Having a church wedding is a good testimony for Christians. It shows that God is in the center of the relationship. Of course, those are just my own thoughts, and I don't know your reasons for wanting to elope. I'm sure there are some very valid reasons that would negate all of my opinions. Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Should I elope? Posted : 12 May, 2010 11:11 AM Oh, almost forgot... If the man wants a ceremony and woman doesn't (or if it's the other way around), I think they should come to some sort of compromise. Perhaps a small church wedding with just family members in attendance. In my opinion, if the wedding ceremony is a big enough deal to cause discontentment and arguing, that's just a small taste of what marriage could be like when there are disagreements on other big issues. An example: I have a friend who broke up with her fiance because they couldn't agree on a wedding...she wanted a small outdoor wedding, and he wanted a huge church wedding. Their parents were also offering differing opinions that weren't helping the issue. Neither was willing to give an inch, so she broke it off; she realized that they were too immature to get married if they couldn't even compromise on that. They decided to grow up before they got married. About a year later, they got engaged again, acted like adults, and compromised on the ceremony. (And told their parents to stay out of the planning process...they didn't need or want the extra pressure.) Post Reply
View Profile History	Should I elope? Posted : 12 May, 2010 07:04 PM I don't read anything in my Bible about an elopment being wrong. Personally --- I think it is a great idea. Who says you can't get married in a church and then elope?? Of course you can! Small ceremony - just the Pastor and witnesses, then whoosh! Off to the honeymoon. The others had a point about people being disappointed not being a part. Soooooo.............. have a big (or whatever size you want) reception when you come back! Why not? You can renew your vows, wear the same dress, have pictures taken, a cake --- the whole thing. For your family and friends, with the official part out of the way and done just the way you want it. As far has being engaged to someone who wants a big wedding.... you'll need to work that out with him. You will need to respect each other and compromise. Just my opinions here, Pixy. Thanks for sharing! Post Reply
View Profile History	Should I elope? Posted : 15 May, 2010 08:09 PM Thanks for the input, everybody. The thing is, I don't want my family to be part of the wedding. Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Should I elope? Posted : 15 May, 2010 08:24 PM Oh. Well, maybe just a small private ceremony at the courthouse with just a few close friends in attendance? But I guess that might be one of those reasons that would make eloping seem like a good idea. I still don't know that it's the BEST idea, though. Post Reply
View Profile History	Should I elope? Posted : 15 May, 2010 08:42 PM Yeah, it may not be the best idea. But, I also have this thing about kissing in front of people. Kissing just seems like such a private thing to me... not something for exhibition. Post Reply

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