Author	Thread: Satirical Tips for Profile Writing
Admin	Satirical Tips for Profile Writing Posted : 2 May, 2010 07:34 PM 1) Profile information-write nothing or as little as possible on your profile. Give women no information to go on and know you by. Also, throw in random and useless information that has nothing to do with finding someone on this site or dating and that will bore her or cause her to pass you by. 2) Profile pictures- make sure you have a picture of you taken in a bathroom, preferably a public bathroom. This reeks of lack of taste and will be sure to communicate that. Also, make sure you have a picture of you with your shirt off. And flexing your muscles if you like. This always is a big hit with women looking for a serious, godly man. 3)Physical requirements-make absolutely sure that you stress and restress that you are looking for a mega-beautiful woman with absolutely no body fat. Make sure you say three or four times that you are into fitness. Even if you are not and blatanty lying this will give the message that you don't want a fat woman by insinuating that they should be into fitness too-not fat. This step is crucial. Otherwise they will not know that you are utterly looks and weight obsessed, fleshy, and that they cannot weigh too much or be fat or ever weigh too much or be fat in the future. 4) Positive points-make sure you point out every detracting thing about you and your lifestyle. If you don't have a job, mention that. If you don't have a home church, mention that. If you don't have a home, mention that. Anything that is a major drawback, mention that. If you ever even had a chance with a woman, these tips are sure to ruin any and all chance you had. Of course this is tongue-in-cheek, but come on guys. A lot of you are doing this. If you are a serious guy on here, think about what you're doing and writing and what you make us endure when we have to read and look at some of your profiles. Post Reply
View Profile History	Satirical Tips for Profile Writing Posted : 2 May, 2010 07:38 PM :ROFL: Hilarious! Post Reply
View Profile History	Satirical Tips for Profile Writing Posted : 2 May, 2010 07:40 PM Thank you. Post Reply
View Profile History	Satirical Tips for Profile Writing Posted : 2 May, 2010 08:36 PM ROTFL :ROFL: Post Reply
View Profile History	Satirical Tips for Profile Writing Posted : 2 May, 2010 08:59 PM This really is so true. Most of the men who message me that get that little form letter "I'm not interested" thing back from me is because they've done one of those things. The biggest one for me, though is where they talk about how beautiful the woman must be and how skinny she must be and how exercising must be her most favourite thing in the world to do. Anytime I read that, I instantly feel ugly and just move on... I'm certainly not going to become romantically involved with a guy who is that stuck on appearances. If that's really all he wants then there's plenty of that out there in the world; he has no need for me. Another thing is when they mention absolutely nothing about their faith... Post Reply
View Profile History	Satirical Tips for Profile Writing Posted : 2 May, 2010 09:09 PM Pixy, I'm having a problem with you feeling ugly cause of what some dude wrote in his profile. Was that just an expression or do we need to talk? :dancingp: Post Reply
GraceMae View Profile History	Satirical Tips for Profile Writing Posted : 2 May, 2010 09:37 PM Excuse me gents....... gloryshine GREAT!!!!! :yay: ~GraceMae Post Reply
View Profile History	Satirical Tips for Profile Writing Posted : 2 May, 2010 11:05 PM Hey babygirl =) Well, the thing is... I'm not physically attractive. So, when I see a guy say that one of his requirements is that the woman be beautiful, it reminds me that I'm ugly, and I see no point in replying. Post Reply
View Profile History	Satirical Tips for Profile Writing Posted : 3 May, 2010 07:07 AM Oh my dear God! I think I will have to rewrite a big part of my profie (and get those topless pics done), I've made so many mistakes in this version...:ROFL: @pixy: Don't say you are not attractive. You are. Maybe you don't look like a barbie doll, but many (not all though) guys still don't go by Hollywood's standard. But I know what you mean with feeling bad when readin certain profiles. I have this too, though rather not about physical appearance (I have no problem with being large size), more other things... God bless you all De Benny Post Reply
View Profile History	Satirical Tips for Profile Writing Posted : 3 May, 2010 07:20 AM Pixy, Don't get me started girl! You are not attractive to who? Yourself? Are you going by men's responses or lack thereof? Read what Edw wrote. You have to know that God knew what you would look like and you are beautiful. When you KNOW that you are God's princess, wonderfully and fearfully made, you will carry yourself as such. Guys will be falling over themselves to try to figure out why you are so confident. When God healed me, my first indication was when a guy that I worked with, stopped and told me that I walk that I know that I'm the s**t. Tried for months afterward to get my number. Me, who had been in a identity crisis since I was 5 over what I felt was my half-breed status. I asked God to allow me to see myself the way He sees me. :rocknroll: Post Reply
View Profile History	Satirical Tips for Profile Writing Posted : 3 May, 2010 07:22 AM Man, it's too early. I meant walk LIKE I know....:zzzz: Post Reply

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