Author	Thread: Private or something to hide?
mcmarilyn View Profile History	Private or something to hide? Posted : 18 Apr, 2010 02:54 PM I have always thought that when you have met someone and have dated a couple of times that they will tell you where they live or even will invite you to their house. I have dated someone I met online two years ago who refuses to tell me where he lives. W have been talking for two years and have met several times. We started be sending pictures of each ohter and talking for hours on the phone. He paid for me to fly to meet him in the state he lives in, but not the town he lives in. A little background info. He has been a widower and I know he is not married. So if a person tells you they love you and really care for you why would they not invite you to their home? He knows where I live and I have been open and honest with him. He tells me he is a very private person. Well, personally I think he has something to hide. Post Reply
View Profile History	Private or something to hide? Posted : 18 Apr, 2010 03:28 PM Maybe he is embarassed by where he lives. Maybe he has lots of photos of his late wife and he's not ready to take them down. just a thought ;) Riveroflife Post Reply
View Profile History	Private or something to hide? Posted : 18 Apr, 2010 06:39 PM things we "know": 1. talking for 2 years. 2. met "several" times 3. pays for your visit 4. no known address! my assumptions/questions; 1. does he trust you? 2years is along time in the dating world. 2. how many times are several? have you met any friends or family? what do you do when you visit, museums, movies, dinner..? 3. if he can afford to pay for your visit, then i would assume that his place has nothing for him to be ashamed of but possibly he has his wife and family living there...(thats the best possible scenario) 4. really!? after two years? where does he live, jail? i would examine the things i "know" about this man. it seems like there needs to be a dose of stark reality taken. somethings make sense, and others don't, that guy sounds like he has not only a wife, but a family. i don't really drink coffee but in your position i would definitely have a cup:goofball: ok maybe i am being a bit harsh toward this guy and very presumptuous, maybe he is just a really nice guy and is taking things slowly. but i have to be honest, the more i think about this the more i wonder what types of skeletons he has in his closet... or basement. nyanda:purpleangel: :stop:, look, listen, before you cross the street, lol Post Reply
Elisa View Profile History	Private or something to hide? Posted : 18 Apr, 2010 06:57 PM Ok, alternative thought....just trying to explore all the options. Maybe his momma or aunt live with him and he doesn't want y'all to meet. But after 2 years? That is a bit extreme. No matter what.....he may not be very committed to you or the possibility of developing a relationship. Good Luck and God Bless, Elisa Post Reply
View Profile History	Private or something to hide? Posted : 18 Apr, 2010 08:21 PM First of all I would hope for your own safety that you wouldn't meet anyone without having a full name and an address.There are way too many whakos out there!Unless you know this person threw a trusted friend/family. Post Reply
View Profile History	Private or something to hide? Posted : 18 Apr, 2010 11:43 PM I saw this movie! It was a Suspense Movie with Will Smith. It was about this guy who was making wax figures of women he lured to his home. When the police finally captured him they found the wax figures of a dozen women that had been missing for years! Two years is Way too long for not to have been invited to his home. Me smells Paraffin! Look out! Behind you!! Then again it could be that he's... Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	Private or something to hide? Posted : 19 Apr, 2010 08:57 AM That seems like a serious lack of trust...or he's hiding something. Either way...you should confront him about it very soon. If he doesn't trust you with his house you should probably be skeptical about how interested he is. :peace::peace: Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Private or something to hide? Posted : 19 Apr, 2010 01:17 PM I'm not quick to bring a girl back to my apartment for temptation reasons, but it really doesn't matter if she knows where I live. After 2 years, and especially if he says he loves you, then you should be able to go to his house. I hate ultimatums, but you need to basically tell this guy that a big part of love is opening up, and not letting you know where he lives is has no place in a mature relationship. Regardless of his reasons, he either needs to let you into his life, or you two need to break up. A man who will not trust you with something as simple as that is not ready for a relationship and is just wasting your time. Post Reply
mcmarilyn View Profile History	Private or something to hide? Posted : 19 Apr, 2010 05:43 PM I don't know if I had mentioned his wife died over ten years ago and he has two adult sons who are married. He did tell me about a former girlfreind he brought back to his house and when they were in the bedroom she turned the picture around of his deceased wife. He still talks about her, don't think he will ever get over her. He is a retired US marshall and that is why he is so private. But come on now...I have woken up and smelled the coffee. It is just so difficult at this point because so much emotional energy and time has gone into this relationship. We used to talk for two hours on the phone every night and text all the time. Now that I am pushing the relationship he is backing off. I know he is not married. I did a people search and his deceased with comes up and I had even checked out the old obits and found it. So....does he have a live in girlfreind and is in a loveless relationship? Is that why he talks to me for hours because I boost his ego? He has made so many promises which he has failed to keep. I love this man but think I've been blinded or played. How can I get past this? I got involved wth him after a nasty divorce. I was married for 35 years which ended due to a cheating husband who traveled all the time. So I have little dating experience. Post Reply
View Profile History	Private or something to hide? Posted : 19 Apr, 2010 08:10 PM mc, i would have liked to email you but i'm too young lol. you seem like such a decent person. i pray that God shows you favour in your situation. i don't know why my heart went mush when i read your last post but i have faith that you will be fine after all you are on this dating site! it shows that your a strong lady! may God shower his richest blessings on you =D nyanda Post Reply
Reacy View Profile History	Private or something to hide? Posted : 20 Apr, 2010 01:10 PM It does appear that he has something or someone that he is possibly hiding from you. A man that has been knowing you for this long, there should be no surface secrets as far as where he lives. I can understand that you have time and love invested into this man, but I think you should take a step back and access the situation and consider is this a deal breaker for you, and if so, let him know this. If he truly feels this deeply for you, he will let you know where he lives, irregardless of what ex-girlfriends did at his home, and the sensitivity of his deceased wife. Post Reply

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