Author	Thread: When she lets you into her home
woababy View Profile History	When she lets you into her home Posted : 26 Feb, 2010 11:13 PM Is there some secret code among men that says being allowed into a woman's home means something big? I try to be very careful about whom I allow into my home, because it seems whenever I let a single man enter, a problem begins. Am I unwittingly giving them the green light by letting them come through the door? Do guys secretly think it means "I want you!"? It isn't always easy for me to leave, because I have children, so male friends have visited, or men from church, and co workers have to come help with household repairs. After that, they act different. It somehow changes things, and I have even ended up having to be downright mean to get rid of some! Should I just never let in any male who isn't my man??? This seems so silly, but I need to know what goes inside mens' minds on this. Post Reply
View Profile History	When she lets you into her home Posted : 27 Feb, 2010 02:59 AM I know men that are in their fifties with the "maturity" of a fifteen year old and I know some fifteen year olds that show a maturity well beyond their ages. Immature men are Dangerous, because to begin with they are selfcentered and will justify their actions. How do you tell if a man is immature? Since you are not married your best bet is to Assume that all men are immature and never be alone with any man. If you need to have a man come over to fix something...try to have someone there with you (girlfriend, brother, Rottweiler). With an immature man, you don't need to give him any reason for him to make a pass at you...he'll make one up for you. Just you being friendly is enough for him. Now...I am generalizing and there are plenty of men who have morals and have been bought up the proper way and have matured. It's just that in your situation it would seem prudent to just don't place yourself in "harms way". Sorry...wish I could have been more help! Steve Post Reply
View Profile History	When she lets you into her home Posted : 27 Feb, 2010 06:57 AM dear arch ,, rofl @ rotweiller.. i cracked up on that one hehe... still laughin whilest im typin hehe.. dear woah,,, if you just asked me to come fix somethin in your home or i vollunteered to ,, id not think you were interisted in me just because of that.. less you gave off some serious signals whilest i were there.. smile and fore you ask nope just bringin me a glass of iced tea on a hot day wouldnt qualify either hehe now if you were to just invite me over to your house i might just take that as a sign you were interisted in me.. ole cattle Post Reply
View Profile History	When she lets you into her home Posted : 27 Feb, 2010 08:26 AM What's going on inside YOUR head when you do this? Last I checked on this planet you don't let just anybody into your home. Especially those of the opposite sex w/o a chaperone. You really don't know how somebody could misinterpret that to think 'oo maybe she's interested in me' rather than the complete opposite, or up in the air maybe maybe not? Post Reply
View Profile History	When she lets you into her home Posted : 27 Feb, 2010 08:41 AM I mean maybe there are some that wouldn't think you were interested in them if you invited them to your place, but i guarantee more than most would think you were. I'm not saying this to be mean, I'm saying it as a brother in Christ who cares that that's a really foolish thing to do, especially if you aren't clear and upfront about what it is. If you were my sister i'd say the same thing. Bad idea. Your home is really personal, if you want to just chat, meet at a neutral territory in a public place for coffee. If a guy invited you to his place what would you think? Would you go? Post Reply
Elisa View Profile History	When she lets you into her home Posted : 27 Feb, 2010 10:43 AM Hi there, I was a missionary in Central America. While there, the plumbing went completely wonkers and so I asked one of the brothers from the church if he could help me out. I just wanted running water that ran in the house in the correct place and then ran out the correct place. Nothing more, nothing less. When he came, he brought his wife, a couple of sisters, and ALL the kids. I was at a bit of a loss, but hey, why not. The next time something broke, another brother asked me to please leave while he worked. So I went to a friends house and commented on the strange behavior of the men in my church (she is a different denomination). After she stopped at me, she let me know that men cannot be in the house alone with a woman. To do otherwise is simply not done. It would just be too tempting for them. So, they either bring the family along or shoo the woman out the door. Who knew? Now that I am back in the US, I just keep to those rules. When a man is coming over, I invite a friend or if he is there to fix something and is someone I trust, mention that I need to step out for a minute. The strangest part, the plumber. He does it part time on the side, is fabulous with old houses, and is rather picky in customers. I am the only single lady on his list. The one time I didn�t have a friend over and was still there he asked me if I didn�t need to step out to take care of something. I can fix electricity and wood. Plumbing? No way. I was gone in a flash. Anyway, so does this mean guys think something? I haven�t the foggiest of a clue. However, if they are coming in to help or visit�.my thought is make it comfortable for everybody and have somebody else over. No misconceptions AND a great excuse for some lovely visiting time with a friend. Post Reply
View Profile History	When she lets you into her home Posted : 27 Feb, 2010 11:30 AM It would definitely give me the wrong vibe if you were to ask me to come into your home, other than fix something. After all, a home is our shelter. A place of security. If you invited me in to fix something, I'd really like to bring a witness with me. For one, I don't want any rumors started. If there's one thing that destroys relationships in a church today, it is gossip. If you are going to invite someone over, do mention that there will be other mutual friends that will be around so that you don't mislead the brother into thinking you're interested. Anyway, that's just my .02 cents. Post Reply
View Profile History	When she lets you into her home Posted : 27 Feb, 2010 07:19 PM I agree with the rest. There's a LOT of crazies out there. You should never invite anyone of the opposite sex into your house untl you really know them. even then I'd still take some kind of precaution. My late Uncle was a preacher and would never, ever, under any circumstances enter into aother home if the lady parishoner was home alone. A.- it was a small community and evrybody knew him B. It was a small community and evrybody knew him. He did not wamt to give anyone anything to talk about, plus, he was truly a southern gentleman. Real gentlemen will not accept this invitation anyway without a chaperone, or they were really, really good close Christian friends, even then he would be hesitant. In the words of Forrest Gump: Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get! Post Reply
woababy View Profile History	When she lets you into her home Posted : 27 Feb, 2010 09:58 PM Thanks, Steve! You did help. I do try to have another adult here. I am very careful about who is around my children. The reason I asked is because there is a man from my church, who is in his late 50s-early 60s who has started trying to get in and to say the least, it is uncomfortable. This is not the first time, but as far as a much older man, it is. Post Reply
woababy View Profile History	When she lets you into her home Posted : 27 Feb, 2010 10:02 PM Old Cattle, You are normal then. Men who become stalkers are not. I have been taken off guard by much younger men before, when they act this way, but the older ones s'prized me even more! I guess I expect the older generations to be more respectful. Post Reply
woababy View Profile History	When she lets you into her home Posted : 27 Feb, 2010 10:05 PM Whats going on in my head is--hey, I just gave myself electric shock treatment trying to fix the stove outlet myself (since I didn't have the money to hire anyone) and this Christian guy I know from school is offereing to come fix it for free...cool! Post Reply

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