Author Thread: Rejection
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Rejection
Posted : 31 Jan, 2010 03:11 AM

Both on this site and real life as well

How do you handle it?

How do you get over it?

Why does it bother us so much? :toomuch:

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Rejection
Posted : 31 Jan, 2010 03:49 AM

Well you just do not think about it. You know who you are and if that person does not want to know you or whatever the case maybe then just give it to God and keep it moving.



God Bless

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liv2luvudeeply

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Rejection
Posted : 31 Jan, 2010 06:13 AM

Remp,



The answer for me is complicated and takes time to fix. I struggled with rejection my whole life as a major major issue that was part of what cost me my career, my ministry, and my marriage. At the core of the issue was rejection by my dad...never measuring up, never being affirmed, never hearing him say he loved me or that he was proud of me. Wounded people wound people, and my dad had never had that from his dad.



To have a loving father affirm you as a son is crucial to your self image. When it doesn't happen, and you don't have a loving father in your life, that translates over to your heavenly Father and you believe the same things about Him...that He doesn't really like you, doesn't really approve of you, isn't proud of you, doesn't really love you, etc.



What changed my life completely was having that area of my heart healed, and getting that revelation firmly planted in my heart that I AM HIS BELOVED SON, and He loves me no matter what, and its more than just head knowledge now...I can actually feel it in my heart where it needs to be. I'm affirmed now by my heavenly Father and know that I know that I know that no matter who rejects me on earth, that HE will never reject me, never leave me, never forsake me. I always "knew" that in my head, but couldn't receive it in my heart of heart where it needed to be. It took some healing and lots of time in His presence, letting Him soak that truth into my heart and into my spirit.



Now that I have this truth firmly planted where it needs to be, He is my self confidence and all fear of rejection is gone. The result is that I hardly ever have to experience rejection! If a woman doesn't receive my approaches, I know that it's not because of who I am...I'm a royal prince of the most high God Who loves me more than anything!



And that's true of you too...you just have to spend enough time in His presence to hear HIM say it to you till you believe it way down deep. :)



T

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Rejection
Posted : 31 Jan, 2010 11:22 AM

dear remp, ya just say,,, next!

ole cattle

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Posted : 31 Jan, 2010 04:31 PM

Freinds the loyal person will stay around as long as you behave yourself.I do not consider just a short few letters rejection. A lasy has too choose what guy she likes and this is loyality. Respect her choice and you will get your own lady in time. Women like to write to just one guy like us guys want just one lady.You just hve to find the right lady for you.It may take time.

Dennis

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Posted : 31 Jan, 2010 04:46 PM

Yeah that's true, for the most part i've improved quite a bit on that front since joining this site. Last night i just really had that end of the rope feeling where i didn't have any other options and was at a loss for how to make more. fortunatly, as usual, i had a breakthrough and that isn't the case today. the solution? take my inquiring mind off of these posts and on to the sending private messages to people asking the questions i do. i think it's a terrific solution that works both in real life and online (which is real life too, but you know what i mean). lol

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Posted : 1 Feb, 2010 12:45 AM

Rejection only hurts if you are of the belief that another person holds the key to validating who and what you are.



I never feel hurt by somebody's rejection on a dating site.... ever. The internet is not only a world of "Illusion" on the part of the presenters, who often times paint themselves in a far more favorable light than what they potentially are... It is also an "illusion" on the part of the receiver due to their own sometimes limited paradigms as to what they either WISH to see or NOT wish to see toward anybody presenting themselves to them.



The life I have lived has been one of the most unique and blessed of most anybody I know. It was truly a "road less traveled". I've learned from a few years of this endeavor in trying to meet somebody, that I will be hard pressed, no matter what good qualities I might possess or that God gave me, making me actually a very qualified candidate, to impress the type woman I seek simply by a profile and a few email exchanges to get her to see the "inner me"..... I've learned that the same woman who would 'reject' me from the internet would actually WANT to get to know me when she has seen me in my actual "element". Most want to actually be a part of it due to what it entails. Strangely enough... it's that very part of me that I really don't want them to see anyway because they then are more interested in what I DO....verses who I really AM on the inside. It's been a catch 22.



The only thing that I can do is simply continue to keep it between "me and God", and to always remember that any woman's rejection spoke more about THEM than it ever did about ME.

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liv2luvudeeply

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Posted : 1 Feb, 2010 05:16 AM

Pianodude,



I so totally relate. I've always wondered if a woman liked me for what I DO musically, for my talents of playing, singing, and songwriting, or for who I really am without those things... although what I DO is really a part of who I am. I usually try to establish there's some interest in just ME before I ever let her hear my music.



I just saw that you're in Ohio...I'd be interested in what you do and maybe networking some...



T

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cherished2

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Posted : 1 Feb, 2010 10:29 AM

Liv2luv,

Have you read the book called "The Blessing" by Gary Smalley? It deals with the very thing you were talking about... a father's affirmation. Great book. I think it should be required reading by every young man and again when they become a father. It is so crucial to have that blessing from a father... and so life detrimentally altering when it doesnt happen.



I am so glad you found the love and acceptance you need in the Father of All. My son and his father are working through this very issue - something passes from one generation to another, like in your case. I believe if men understood this, it could change the world!

I am glad to see you talk about it with victory! :applause:



Be blessed - again!



Cherri

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Jesusiseverything

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Posted : 2 Feb, 2010 08:16 AM

If Jesus really is everything then it is ok if other people reject me. I can say I haven't gotten anyone in America, Mexico, Europe, Indoesia, Phillipines, China, South America, or Africa to start any kind of meaningful communication with me but that is ok because Jesus loves me and I have the best communication with Him.

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Prodsnapper

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Posted : 2 Feb, 2010 02:18 PM

We all want to be accepted in some way or someplace and not getting that stings. But a little bit of rejection is good, it builds the character. I don't take it as sign to totally change, but I use it as a cue that there may be room for some improvement. Once the smoke clears, I usually find that I wasn't at my best and I pick myself up with the lesson learned. I accept I can only be the best I can be and I resolve to be my best, not someone else's.

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