How is a girl to know if a guy is seriously interested in her? In traditional dating, you can read body language, and maybe you even have mutual friends who can assure you that he's interested.
But in online dating, for the first little while at least, all you have to go on is written communication. I've communicated with quite a few guys on here and on another site. Sometimes it was obvious that there was no mutual interest. Some of the guys seemed to have possibilities, and they seemed interested, but they never pursued it farther than the first email or first couple IMs. A couple guys seemed to have a LOT of possibility, but there were things that stood in the way...not insurmountable things, but still obstacles. I'm still "friends" with one guy I "met" on here (we never actually met in person due to the 550+ miles between us), but that is going nowhere fast and, unfortunately, I don't see us being more than friends because of the distance. :rolleyes:
So, now I'm communicating with a guy I "met" on another site. He lives very near me, so distance is not an issue if we decide to meet in person. We have been emailing daily on-site for just over a week. Are there clues (either for interest or for a lack of interest) that I should look for? Some of the things I have appreciated in our email exchanges: he cautioned me to be careful when he knew I would be driving on icy roads, and then asked about my safety later; he regularly tells me that he enjoyed my message and would look forward to the next one; he answers my questions in great detail, even the personal ones; he asks excellent questions of me and then comments on my answers; and yesterday he wrote that he would like to talk to me on the phone, but only if/when I feel ready to do that. We have already established that we agree on all of the major issues that are important to both of us. He also has been open with the fact that he is not looking for casual dating, but rather is looking for a long-term relationship that could lead to marriage.
Does that sound like interest to you guys? Or does it sound like I'm just hoping for interest that's not really there? Do y'all have any tips for me? Anything to take note of as a good sign or a bad sign?
Thanks in advance for your input! :waving:
(Oh, girls can give me advice too based on your own experiences!)
:laugh:...this was my first question on here as well. It is definitely not the same, and I think different rules apply. In real life, I would never approach a girl if I didn't have some body language clues...and on the internet? When 90% of people completely ignore your attempts? Not fun. Anyway...I can't really help you except to reaffirm your statement...it is different. Luckily some girls emailed/winked at me "first" and one of them happened to be interested and AWESOME!:hearts:
This is not my first dating site that I've been a part of ...I'm a shy character,but this guy seems to communicate with you in the same way that I have communicated with other women from different sites that I was interested in. I believe that he is indeed interested in you and is trying to demostrate that he is a caring individual. Meeting someone in person for the first time, especially someone that you have met online, precaution should be taken, but I believe you should give this guy a fair chance. It seems like he wants to meet you and takes steps forward but at the same time I don't feel like wants to pressure you in to something. Hey it could be a good thing! Good Luck!!
I feel ya bcpg... have a "friend" from here that I've corresponded with for months, and never met because she's on the other end of the country. Now she has begun a relationship with someone else that lives closer, so we probably never will meet.
I concur with the other posters tho...I think the guys interested. It's hard to tell though for future contacts...some guys aren't good with typing e-mails and computer stuff, and want to get digits or meet right away to get around that, but that doesn't mean they will ultimately be that interested. Other guys are just crazy busy with work, kids, sports, etc. so things are going to go slow until they get REALLY interested, usually after meeting in person and feeling the chemistry.
Good for you that you've potentially found someone that's close by...because of the relatively small size of this sight, I haven't found very many people in NE Ohio for ANY kind of relationship, even friendship.
young lady, to me he seems interested but to tell, talk on the phone.you can then tell better and communication is way better verbably than this 2 finger typing way.:laugh: to spend a long time on here to me is fruitless. the test if u get along is 1st on the phone and 2nd in person.goodluck!:waving:
Gal wrote: (QUOTE) "So, now I'm communicating with a guy I "met" on another site. He lives very near me, so distance is not an issue if we decide to meet in person. We have been emailing daily on-site for just over a week. Are there clues (either for interest or for a lack of interest) that I should look for? Some of the things I have appreciated in our email exchanges: he cautioned me to be careful when he knew I would be driving on icy roads, and then asked about my safety later; he regularly tells me that he enjoyed my message and would look forward to the next one; he answers my questions in great detail, even the personal ones; he asks excellent questions of me and then comments on my answers; and yesterday he wrote that he would like to talk to me on the phone, but only if/when I feel ready to do that. We have already established that we agree on all of the major issues that are important to both of us. He also has been open with the fact that he is not looking for casual dating, but rather is looking for a long-term relationship that could lead to marriage.....Does that sound like interest to you guys? Or does it sound like I'm just hoping for interest that's not really there? Do y'all have any tips for me? Anything to take note of as a good sign or a bad sign?" (UNQUOTE)
Gal, I now see that you've already talked on the phone. I was going to suggest Yahoo Messenger (or an equivalent) first --- which I always recommend. Reason being, normal precautions (of not giving away your phone number too quickly). Speaking of precautions; I think it's a "good sign" this man has expressed an interest in your safety -- (which is such a big and very important issue in online dating, and, especially so for women). I kind of 'know' you, Gal, from earlier posts, and so on. You're intelligent and the sincerity of your devotion to God 'comes through'.
Obviously, none of us 'commentors' can tell much about this man, other than what you have told us. From your descriptions of him, he appears to be genuine, honest, and 'up front'. (As something of an aside (here); has he read this thread? or have you invited him to?).
In any event, and to wrap up my post, I'm assuming you know the normal precautions a woman must take in online dating in terms of meeting someone in person for the fist time. I always voluntarily submit that it be in a public place, preferably in the day time. (What I'm getting at here is: Has this man done something similar in terms of your safety?). I would also suggest not giving your address, where you work, or what church you go to -- that is -- unless you have confirmed reasons to believe that this man can be trusted. He sounds trustworthy, don't get me wrong. But it's only been one week...if you see what I'm saying. I wish you the best, Gal! And if you meet this guy and "the sparks don't fly" (in a romantic sense), you will have met a good brother in Christ. Okay. Enuf from me. Take care.
Thanks for the advice Rick. We did actually IM a bit on the site, so I had some real-time conversation with him before the phone call. And I only gave him my cell phone number because it's harder to trace. (It would be traced to a PO box that doesn't even belong to me.)
No, he hasn't read this thread that I know of...I met him on another site, and I'm pretty sure he's not on this site. Though I wouldn't mind if he read it. Nothing secret here.
He doesn't know my full name, or my address, or where I work, or my church. I've been pretty careful about traceable info. And he hasn't pressed for any of that info, either.
We have talked about meeting in another week or so (and continuing our ridiculously long daily emails in the meantime). He made it clear that I'm to pick a place where I feel safe, and he will meet me there. It's not officially a date...just two people getting together to chat over coffee or lunch.
Again, thanks for the advice. I know that y'all can't tell me anything for sure since you don't know this guy, but it helps for me to have y'all as a "sounding board" for my thoughts.
The fact that he messaged you and still continues to speak to you shows he is interested. You can simply ask him share your feelings with him once you feel confident you can. Maybe give him your phone number in a reply and see if he calls you. If he does you know he is interested in you more than a casual chat.
I've wound up with some pen-pals here and I did meet with someone that I knew years ago.
The problem is that we run out of stuff to e-mail about. Right now, one woman has a bunch of us hooked on her forum posts. However if she lived down the street we might be friends, but nothing leading to marriage.
Also, shared experiences are important in a relationship. I can tell someone about a movie, but seeing it together is much, much better.:yay::rocknroll:
At Bible study, I met a woman that could wind up as my friend. Now, we would have our church and Bible study topics to use as starting points in conversation as well as day to day happenings. Plus, seeing each other face to face gives people something to look forward to.:hearts:
Have you ever noticed that most people just use e-mail to forward stuff to one another. It is becoming a form of communication without a relationship.:buddies: If this site allowed it; we would forwarding stuff to each other right and left.:purpleangel:
If you copy this post and e-mail it to 10 friends you will receive a special blessing.:dancingp:
An update: I met this guy last weekend for lunch, and we had a great time. Before we left, he asked if I'd like to get together again in the near future, and I said sure. By the next morning, I had an email from him suggesting an activity for this weekend! :applause:
