Author	Thread: I have a situation that I would like honest opinions.
itstheGodinme24 View Profile History	I have a situation that I would like honest opinions. Posted : 3 Jan, 2010 03:15 PM Hi Everyone, Ill get straight to the point. I have known this guy for approximately 4 years. When we first met, we attempted to date, we went on a few dates and even kissed; however the relationship didnt work out. I ran across him again about 2 years ago at church and we exchanged numbers. We both have grown so much and we have became great friends, we talk about everything from the bible, my current boyfriend and his children mother. He has two girls that I adore and love spending time with them. We go to the movies, he comes over for dinner etc, but lately my feelings have changed and I begun wanting more than a friendship. Ok, I have spoken to him about my feelings and to my excitement he agreed. He said his feelings has become stronger and he is really attracted to me..but(here comes the but) he says he doesnt want to mess up a good friendship. I have one question do you think its just an excuse or do "Christian" guys actually think like this. I was always taught that I guy knows what he wants and it doesnt take long for him to figure it out. O yea, he says he doesnt want me to close the door on a relationship and one day we might be together. Post Reply
itstheGodinme24 View Profile History	I have a situation that I would like honest opinions. Posted : 3 Jan, 2010 03:39 PM also I wanted to input....that we are both Christians and believer we should wait to have sex and so forth. I wanted to clarify the statement when I said, " I wanted more'. lol Post Reply
View Profile History	I have a situation that I would like honest opinions. Posted : 3 Jan, 2010 07:32 PM dear its, my feelin is its an escuse.. cause who better to wanna be married to than your best friend of the opposite gender.. ole cattle Post Reply
Devotedlove47^ View Profile History	I have a situation that I would like honest opinions. Posted : 4 Jan, 2010 02:36 PM Dear Godinme, Which person are you talking about, you current boyfriend, or the guy you met 4 years ago. The way you wrote your statement has me somewhat confused about which person you are talking about. Would you clarify? Post Reply
liv2luvudeeply View Profile History	I have a situation that I would like honest opinions. Posted : 4 Jan, 2010 08:35 PM Sounds like to me, the guy has some reservations (fears). He may be unsure of himself, unsure of what he wants, or afraid of committing again after his relationship with the girls' mother ended. Although his feelings for you may stronger, he may not be sure that you're everything he wants in a mate, and therefore, afraid of losing a friend. If he's an emotionally secure guy, or any combination of the above fears is a factor, he may not settle until all the major items on his "wish" list for a mate are there. Post Reply
Randy54156 View Profile History	I have a situation that I would like honest opinions. Posted : 6 Jan, 2010 09:05 AM Your current boyfriend wants more than just friendship and the guy you've been seeing 4 yrs ago wants a friendship. So whats the problem? Post Reply
View Profile History	I have a situation that I would like honest opinions. Posted : 7 Jan, 2010 08:29 PM Most likely you are dealing with a young guy,most likely under 30 years old.it's not the fact is he a christian or not,most guys under 30 are not ready for a real relationship especially a one on one. Post Reply
View Profile History	I have a situation that I would like honest opinions. Posted : 8 Jan, 2010 08:02 AM dear jman, welcome to the forums. ole cattle Post Reply
stormcountry33 View Profile History	I have a situation that I would like honest opinions. Posted : 8 Jan, 2010 08:48 AM This may be hard to hear, but if you are involved with another guy...that issue alone my be what he is concerned with. I have been told that it would be much better for a woman to leave someone on their own accord and then hook up with someone instead of being "swayed" to leave a relationship. Maybe while he doesn't want to take a chance on hurting a frienship, it could also be he has doubts as to how you will treat him since he is seeing how you are treating your current boyfriend. I don't mean to sound judgemental, but if you have been "dating" him while still in another relationship, that may cause him to be a bit reserved. Post Reply
Devotedlove47^ View Profile History	I have a situation that I would like honest opinions. Posted : 8 Jan, 2010 04:21 PM Dear Godinme, Now that things are some what clearer about your situation, I will give you my thoughts on the matter. First of all, when the guy met you 4 years ago, he knew then how he felt about you, and how he felt about having a serious relationship with you. Whatever it was that caused him not to pursue a serious relationship with you then, has not changed. It could be one, two, or a combination of different reasons that is causing him to feel this way about getting serious with you. Whatever it is, he does not want to say, for fear of you becomming offended by it. He does however, know exactly what he wants. Here are just a few for you to consider: 1. He could still have feelings for his children's mother and be in denial to you about it. 2. He could be feeling responsible for their breakup, and waiting for her heart to change. 3. He could be over her, but not want to expose his daughters to the conflict of having two mothers. 4. He could like your friendship a lot, but not be in love with you, and don't want to hurt your feelings by telling you this. 5. He could love your friendship, but feel that you two would not be compatible in a marriage. 6. He could love you, but not like certain ways about you, which he does not want to lose your friendship over. 7. He could be seeing other women along with you, and not want to get serious with any one of you. 8. He could know that he is irresponsible and lacking in discipline as a man, and don't want to wreck another woman's life. 9. He could even be struggling with things that have nothing to do with you, like being involved secretly with other men. You may never know, if refuses to tell you. My suggestion to you, is that you first develope a healthy respect for the courting process. Don't be involved with two guys at the same time, that's defrauding one man, with the other, and is the wrong approach to starting a serious relationship. Most men will not take a woman serious, if she shows signs of being unworthy of trust. This may be one of the things that he is considering, along with a number of others. Consider how you approached him in times past, in conjunction with the points which I touched on above. If you take your time, and consider these things, God will reveal exactly what has happened, to make things as they are between you two. When he does that, accept it for what it is, and let him lead you on from that point, making sure not to forget what he has taught you. MAKE THE NECESSARY CHANGES YOU NEED TO IMPROVE YOU CHANCES FOR A SUCCESSFUL CHRISTIAN RELATIONSHIP, and you will eventually discover that true love you are seeking. Serious men, are always seeking serious women, and that should be an encouraging thought. Grace be with you in Jesus name!!!! Devoted Post Reply
Greentree View Profile History	I have a situation that I would like honest opinions. Posted : 9 Jan, 2010 06:18 AM Greetings, I think I understand where this fella may be coming from. I have used a phrase myself that goes," If you want to ruin a perfectly good friendship, start dating." For me that has come from having some relationships that start as friendships which are going really great and then when the dating starts things go south. That's when I am sorry to have lost a good friend. That's my personal experience. I have a lady friend right now that I have known for years, and before she was married. Since her divorce... and mine we have spent many good times together but I too am afraid to date her because I consider her a really good friend because I really enjoy spending time with her. At the same time our lives seem quite different, at least to me. So that's me. My suggestion is that perhaps this guy really enjoys spending time with you and was very sorry when things didn't work out the first time. And now he has decided that he would rather enjoy you as a friend than risk loosing you again in a relationship. Actually "ItstheGodinme24," I would be interested in what you or other ladies have to say about this idea too. How do you feel about a guy who just wants to be friends as in your senario? I guess it would depend on your feelings for that fella too. Post Reply

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