i was just wondering if any other guy struggles with ego or to "puff" oneself up in attempting to seem more presentable and attractable to women? It's a challenge to remain both Humble and Confident, especially, when we live in a culture infested by media influence constantly defining what is a attractable man's : attitude, body movment, speech patterns, intellect etc.. If people don't believe me when I say this, Just start strolling through the profiles, at all the single teenage, early 20's mothers; Let alone all of the single mothers period. I guranteed with you if a guy was truly in the word, he would to stayed and supported that child. lol sometimes you just want jesus to come down and tell you exactly what the bible means and what is right n wrong exacty lol.
Especially, for those guys who seem to be more people oriented, than task oriented. Lol sometimes you just feel like it's a no win situation. The bible has power in transforming who you are from the inside out and you can't live both in the word and of the world. The bible even states : People will hate my ways; Usually, because it has something to do with taking the "you" out of the equation and putting him..
It's just tough when your talking to a girl and yet, theirs a guy who obviously isn't a believer and is being all sensual and confident in his own abilities and shes drawn to him with His : Cool, Laidback speech and his friendly and inviting advances. Has the world of Hollywood sensuality and dating mentality brainwashed all of us to an extent! The whole hollwood scenes of "Falling in love" or this is what "falling in love or the sequence of falling in love saying you can't be upfront in your intentions and their ast to be this long, drawn out "feeling" whether your right for eachother or not. lol sometimes you just want jesus to come down and tell you exactly what the bible means and what is right n wrong exacty lol.
I appologize of the rant comes on strong, just need to rant and let off some frustrations. I tend to real and upfront, so they make seem unattractive to some of you but thats what happens you experience hardships; you have no choice but to be real.
I do think Hollywood is partly to blame...generally people associate love and romance with going against their better judgment and throwing caution to the wind to "follow their heart"...but the bible tells us that "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?" (Jeremiah 17:9). If we are "following our heart" instead of following Christ or God's will for us, it can only end in despair and sin.
I'm not blaming hollywood because everyone has a "Choice" in following an influence; Also, hollywood or the world doesn't know any better, so offcourse their going to keep putting out the stuff they do.
I'm just saying take into account christian character, instead of the sensuality. It tough, because women, let alone people today; are just as or close to being as sensual as back in noahs time. I mean sure, i could act all egostical and pretend a fake confidence and lure women that way; It works, i've peak womens interest that way before but its just plain wrong. Usually, it involves some flirtacious, sexual innuedo or the latest gossip or slander about someone else; to even make conversation applealing to the person. It's sad we have gotten to that point today but it's a reality.
I mean think about it, would most gir'sl consider dating one of the DUGGAR Boys, As opposed to someone from the Cast of Jackass or some other mtv reality show. Whats the big difference between the two....."Sensuality" or Attitude..
Yes,I know what you mean!Sometimes its lonely being a true christian!Thats how I know I can only be with a true christ-loving women.Lost women are into ego,pride,appearances,....we are taught by god to be different.To a worldly women..we seem boring,judgemental,LOL....They probably cant get far enough away from us!But take heart my brothers....that just means we are on the right road!
I can say that question has crossed my mind a few times, as I am sure it has for many guys. It's a strong reminder of the challenges we face in the life we've been called to live.
First, whether you intended to make it or not, I think the difference in ego and confidence is important here. Though I don't think I need to explain egotism, I'd say it is having inflated certainty in oneself and one's own abilities and persona. Frankly, it runs in the same vein as selfishness and pride. By one definition, the same may be said of confidence, but I look at it another way. Confidence is also boldness and conviction, expression of our self worth and esteem, or, directed externally, trust and reliance.
In that sense, we as Christians have every reason to be confident. Because we are created in God's image, loved and redeemed by Him, equipped and empowered by Him, we can live according to God's will with boldness, self worth, and trust in Him--with confidence.
Doesn't mean its easy. A lot of guys and girls alike take the easy road with that very first definition of confidence. Sensuality is one way it's expressed and there are others, all of which, as you say, the media mirrors right back. But when we do live a confident, Godly life, people will take notice. Scripture assures us of that. Now that wasn't really in the context of romantic relationships, but I believe it applies just as much there. Certainly that's what I'm looking for in a girl, and I hope she's looking for it in me, too.
dear folks, true christian??? folks there aint no superior christian.. and thats what true christian means is hey people i am a superior christian.. i am better than other christians that aint a true christian ..theyre just untrue christians.. see thats a pride thing.. cause folks when it comes to christians you either you are or you aint one.. theres no in between.. now some folks will mess up a little more than others at times.. but folks if you have JESUS CHRIST as your personal SAVIOR then you are a christian.. and just that , a christian.. so if ya really wanna show humbleness and humility ,dont use the words i am a true christian..
out here in los angeles, california, land of the plastic people, i have known people to describe themselves as a true Christian, meaning that they practice their faith.
they go to church more than once per week, read their bible daily, and pray several times a day.
there is another free site where most people say they are "christian other". maybe 1 in 100 actually go to church. they say it because they grew up that way, but Christianity has no real meaning for their lives.
i am happy when someone describes themselves as a true Christian. at least i know we have some kind of compatibility.
it is a tool to mine for gold here in the west. not a way to feel superior, for we know that a practicing Christian is humble after being in the persence of an awesome God!
I must say that I've read a lot of good points so far and Cattle, every time I read one of your replies I think you are even cooler than before.
Now onto some of the subjects at hand:
Humility vs ego vs Confidence.
Was Moses humble? Was David? Was Jesus? The reason that we have difficulty with being both humble and confident is that we have a skewed definition of humility.
Moses wrote in the book of Numbers that he was the most humble person on the face of the earth. Automatically, when someone tells us that they are humble we think that they are being arrogant! So if acknowledging your own humility is arrogance than could Moses say that he was Humble? After all, it's impossible to lie when you're writing scripture, isn't it?
Read the story of David and Goliath. Goliath is taunting the armies of Israel and mocking God and what does David do? He asked the famous, "Who is this uncircumcised Philistine that he should mock the armies of the living God?"
His brothers said that he was arrogant (notice that those who aren't confident in their God call those that are arrogant;) but David called Goliath out on the fact that Goliath wasn't in the covenant of circumcision and David was. David then tells Goliath, "I'm gonna cut your head of!" and runs at him.
Jesus always confidently spoke the truth wherever He was. I always did what was right and true and just and noble and He never asked anyone's permission to do so. I suspect that most Christians in the modern american Church would peg Jesus as arrogant; but that's because we think of humility as spinelessness, and weakness and being ugly and poor and puny and letting others have their way with us even when it's wrong or immoral. And with the given examples we see that that's not what humility is but rather a reverse of it.
Now we come to attraction. Every man wants to be attractive to women. Unless he's gay.
Confidence plays an integral role in this. Really, only chicks with self-esteem issues will settle for a guy who isn't confident. Don't date chicks with a low self-esteem, it's really irritating.
Earlier someone said that as Christians we have every reason to be confident and this is true. If you aren't naturally confident make a list of all the things that you're good at and that God has done for you. Go ahead and separate the two and meditate on them. I promise you that as you daily meditate on these things (Phil 4:8) you will be able to add to them. I promise that as you do this, your posture will begin to change and you will be a much more positive person.
Being a positive, upbeat, and energetic person is attractive and it portrays confidence.
Another thing that I've found is that you need to be well groomed. Ladies care less about how you look than they do about your grooming. Dirty clothes, overgrown sideburns, unshaved face, overgrown neck hair, long fingernails.... these things are easy to take care of and they go a long way.
Start working out. Exercise releases endorfins that cause you to feel good about yourself. And as you begin to see results you'll feel even better about yourself and it will show in the way you interact with others. Once again this will lead you being a positive and energetic person.
Work on your posture. I know that I said that meditating on positive things about yourself will improve your posture; but you also want to eradicate certain bad posture behaviors.
Stand up straight.
Shoulders back.
Chest out.
Smile.
Do this every time you can think to. Form a habit of doing this.
In Romans 12 it says to not think of yourself more highly than you ought but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't think highly of yourself. You just shouldn't think more highly of yourself than you ought to. God values you. You're the treasure in the field. You're the pearl of great price that the merchant sells everything he has just to buy it. (Matt 13) Value yourself.
Loving your neighbor as you love yourself REQUIRES that you love yourself...
dear david, i respect your opinion. i do find you to be a very humble man.. with a good heart. i must say that i like the words practiseing christian alot better. cause ifn you watch closely at most all of the folks that claim to be THE TRUE CHRISTIAN, youll find what i said in above post applies. cause theres only christian and non christian.. but i really do like practisin christian.
