Author	Thread: To question or not to question...
Admin	To question or not to question... Posted : 11 Aug, 2009 05:13 AM To all the guys out there....I have found in my correspondence with the gentlemen on this site, that they typcially don't ask many questions about me. I've even said "feel free to ask me anything" and the response I've gotten more than once is, "I'm not really good at asking questions." We continue to write to each other...so they must be interested (at least in friendship) but HOW interested?? Sorta feels like I carry the conversation. I am a very inquisitive person by nature, so I do tend to have questions to ask. I don't hold anyone to that standard, but is it a "guy" thing to not initiate questions to get to know the woman or is that just my luck of the draw so far? Thx for your insight. ~Marie Post Reply
View Profile History	To question or not to question... Posted : 11 Aug, 2009 05:47 AM HI MARIE, I THINK IT IS JUST YOUR LUCK. I GET THE EXACT SAME THING WITH SOME LADIES. AT TIMES, I RUN OUT OF IDEAS, HOPING THAT THE LADY WOULD JUST ASK ME SOMETHING, LOL THE WAY I SEE IT IS THAT, SOME PEOPLE ARE NERVOUS AND SOME ARE EXTREMELY CAUTIOUS IN NOT WANTING TO RUIN WHAT THEY MAY SEE AS A POTENTIALLY BLISSFUL RELATIONSHIP, WHETHER IT BE AS FRIENDS OR AS PARTNERS. IN ADDITION, SOME PEOPLE ARE NOT USED TO DATING WEBSITES OR USE TO CONVERSATION GENERALLY. AT THE SAME TIME, IF YOUR GOING TO BE WITH SOMEONE TILL DEATH OR IF YOUR SEEKING A FRIEND, AT SOME POINT, YOU WOULD NEED TO OPEN UP TO THAT PERSON, YOU NEED TO BE ABLE TO TRUST THE PERSON, SO I GUESS SUCH PEOPLE WILL NEED TO CRANK UP SOME COURAGE AND OPEN UP ABOUT WHAT IS ON THEIR HEART. AT TIMES, IT EVEN FEELS AS THOUGH THE PERSON IS HIDING SOMETHING OR IS ASHAMED ABOUT SOMETHING, DONT U THINK SO? I THINK IT�S NICE THAT YOUR INQUISITIVE, IT�S A HUGE STRENGH TO KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND A BETTER STRENGH WHEN YOU DONT CHANGE WHO YOU ARE FOR THE BENEFIT OF OTHERS. KEEP IT UP. IN CONCLUSION, AS YOU SAID, THOSE THAT YOU REFERRED TO IN YOUR POST, KEEP IN CONTACT WITH YOU, SO I THINK YOU SHOULD CONTINUE ASKING ALL THE QUESTIONS, LOL AND MOST IMPORTANTLY PRAY THAT SUCH PEOPLE WILL CRANK UP SOME COURAGE AND BE BOLD TO SHARE THEIR FEELINGS AND TO ASK YOU ANYTHING. I WILL ALSO BEAR THEM IN PRAYER.:prayingf: Post Reply
View Profile History	To question or not to question... Posted : 11 Aug, 2009 08:20 AM Marie-yep I experience the same thing, feeling like you have to carry the conversation. It's such a joy when the conversation just flows and the two parties involved are mutually curious :-) Kidd-Nice response, I agree with a lot of what you have said. Post Reply
View Profile History	To question or not to question... Posted : 11 Aug, 2009 08:38 AM dear marie, i think its just personality.. some folks are very detailed oriented.. some are doers.. and dont need lots of details.. some are just talkers.. some are more reserved.. as for me personally , it dont have to be all questions.. just talk to me. and ill do the same for you.. im not a big question askin man myself.. as we talk along i may come up with some questions .. but i dont have a big list already made up hehe.. ole cattle Post Reply
View Profile History	To question or not to question... Posted : 11 Aug, 2009 08:41 AM I have experienced a whole lot of the opposite in my short time on this website. Several times I have gotten involved in correspondences that feel like investigative interviews, with me not learning a thing about him. I have even gotten first messages from men that were nothing but a literal list of different questions... and nothing else. It feels to me like so many people on here have an attitude that they are shopping. They are a consumer comparing members of the opposite sex to decide which one gets the honor. I understand that there are certain processes of elimination that take place in any pursuit, but it seems that a lot of people ignore the fact that they are dealing with other people and that they are people themselves. I know I'm not a guy, but there are my two unrelated cents anyway. Or twenty... :goofball: Post Reply
View Profile History	To question or not to question... Posted : 11 Aug, 2009 10:00 AM HEY SIYLII I TOTALLY AGREE WITH THE FACT THAT, �so many people on here have an attitude that they are shopping�. THAT TOTALLY CRACKED ME UP,LOL:ROFL: Post Reply
ian777 View Profile History	To question or not to question... Posted : 11 Aug, 2009 11:04 AM Ya Marie - there's a fine line between interrogation, curiousity, and making conversation. I'm *horrible* at making small talk in a private setting, but at least in email, I can think of stuff and try to carry the conversation. With one lady in particular, whom I've corresponded with extensively, it'll go from almost no response to a longggg list of comments and questions - which always cheers me up. Sometimes people just have a bad day and they're either tired or brain dead that day, but I would say they are interested and trying to keep the conversation going. It would liken it to sitting down for coffee with a total stranger: what on earth do you talk about? Some are better at it than others. In fact, any suggestions from people on how to make "small talk" and get to know someone - I'm all ears! ...in fact, maybe I'll start another post on that in the "Ask a girl" section? Ian Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	To question or not to question... Posted : 11 Aug, 2009 12:01 PM I do ask a lot of questions sometimes, but it seems like whenever I learn something really important about someone else...is when it's in regular conversation. Questions can help start conversation, but usually the questions I ask aren't exactly probing, and the answers I get aren't exactly deep. It's when I'm just talking to someone that I see how they deal with problems, what they really are excited about...you know...just who they are, and how they relate to me. So I guess I'd say...ask the questions to weed out the ones you aren't interested in...but if you really want to get to know someone...just talk. You'll get very real, honest answers to your unasked questions. :peace::peace: Post Reply
tristan07 View Profile History	To question or not to question... Posted : 11 Aug, 2009 12:12 PM i honestly suuuuck at small talk. Alot of you (my freinds) have talked to me on the phone and you know I don't do the small talk thing, I either stick with humor, or go right for the heart. But everyone is different. some people hate typing/email/chat - i'm one of them, I would rather talk on the phone. or in person. Maybe this guy is like me? I just hate emails and feel like i'm crippled in a typing conversation because my true personality doesnt come out that way? as far as answering questions? I'll usualy tell you anything you want about anything, as long as it's appropriate and not vulgar or something of that nature. And I ask alot of pointed questions, I dunno girl, all I can say is if it's not there, it's just not there, move on, or try the phone instead or something. and you can block your number by hitting *67 before you dial someones number and it's free - just a little bit of advice. ciao! Alex Post Reply
View Profile History	To question or not to question... Posted : 11 Aug, 2009 08:24 PM I have seen that same thing on here or on any dating site in person. although it happens in real life to. Like the other day when I got asked out and we had coffee and he really wanted me to date him...but the whole time he talked about himself and didn't ask me a single question. I do like guys that ask questions, but I like ones that can ansewer them too. It's called knowing how to carry on a conversation. Plain and simple. Post Reply
View Profile History	To question or not to question... Posted : 11 Aug, 2009 08:33 PM dear sunny, welcome to the forums.. ole cattle Post Reply

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