Author Thread: THE QUESTION OF SHYNESS.
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THE QUESTION OF SHYNESS.
Posted : 21 Mar, 2020 08:37 AM

Gentleman, I strongly believe that there is no man who is shy to approach a lady he likes...otherwise is just a disinterested man. Because if a guy likes a lady, he will initiate contact with her...the excuses we ladies love to give ,"he is shy, he might have lost my number' are just that_ Excuses we love to give of men we fancy but don't like us thaaaat much. Am I right?



2. A man has to like a lady a lot for it to work....vice versa, the man will be running for the hills trying to escape her...true or false?

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THE QUESTION OF SHYNESS.
Posted : 21 Mar, 2020 06:54 PM

"A man has to like a lady a lot for it to work....vice versa, the man will be running for the hills trying to escape her...true or false?"



It's true. A man has to like a lady a lot for it to work, but usually I cannot tell if I'm going to like someone or not by just looking at someone. So, appearance is often misleading! Very much so! So, just because someone looks decent doesn't mean that her heart is in the right place also. And you can only find that out after you've sat down to talk... So, initially, you can't expect a man to like you a lot. If he does, that's probably just lust. lol

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Posted : 24 Mar, 2020 04:32 AM

The last two sentences are profound. I am usually wary of such. Thank your for responding to my query ...I would kindly also not mind your view in the following observing....A male friend, a man older than I once told me the following....that more men are more of David than they are of Joseph when it comes to sexuality and saying NO! to premarital sex. He added, few men would dare approach a president's wife because of repercussions that would follow... It opened my eyes. What are your views especially concerning a Christian man. Thank you very much.

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T0TH3M4X

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Posted : 27 Mar, 2020 08:31 AM

I don't think it's shyness a lot of times, but I suppose it can be for some people. What I am is cautious. Reality for me is that most women I've met in recent years have a lot of extra drama attached to them, and I try to keep my life drama free. One thing that also keeps me cautious is almost every women I do meet goes on about "what the last guy did wrong", then I get stuck in this process of having to prove myself, which is where I get bored really fast and move on.



I think you should meet someone, get to know them without bias, and then see where it goes from there. Has little or nothing to do with what someone else did or thinks. This is what it's usually like when you're younger. You meet someone because you find them unique and exciting. When you get some experience, that tends to get piled into the equation.

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NarnianGirl

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Posted : 27 Mar, 2020 09:51 AM

That's why I am praying for a 'renewed youth' not in the sense of looking younger, but for the fresh faith and courage to jump into new opportunities just like I did when I was younger.



When we were young, many of us had that mindset, but not always wisdom. Now, we have all the experiences and disappointments piled up, so finding the energy and excitement to start a relationship is more challenging.

(of course, younger people can be stuck as well.. and many older people still have that youthful and resilient heart!)

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Posted : 27 Mar, 2020 11:11 AM

Thank you...it's important that we empty our baggage to Christ...It is so important, for us to be able to move on...otherwise these experiences , I find sabotage our love parsuits. These experiences, cause us to build walls around our hearts and 'harden' us especially ladies and blind us to the good guy sitted across the table. Thank you guys.

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T0TH3M4X

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Posted : 27 Mar, 2020 01:52 PM

Agreed. Dump the baggage first. If you 're going to go into a new relationship, go in with a fresh perspective. I can only speak for myself, but to me relationships become tedious very quickly when you have to deal with someone's past baggage, when you just want to focus on your relationship with them and get to know who they are.



When you're young, it's about excitement and romance with someone. I think many of us want that same excitement when we meet someone new.

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Posted : 29 Mar, 2020 09:15 AM

"most women I've met in recent years have a lot of extra drama attached to them, and I try to keep my life drama free. One thing that also keeps me cautious is almost every women I do meet goes on about 'what the last guy did wrong'"

T0TH3M4X, that reminded me of something interesting. I have had a nice conversation with a certain lady. And when I started another conversation with a new lady (total stranger), I tried to assume, that it's the same lady except we're getting to know each other all over again. So, I expected her to like me, and I liked her from the start. This assumption and treatment bounces off of others. If you treat others kindly, you get kindness in return. I think, that's how we should approach strangers on these dating sites. Be nice to everyone. And if you start talking with someone, imagine a very pleasant conversation you've had with a friend one time. And impose that mindset on the new conversation, and that will set a positive tone for the new conversation. It helps a lot, I think.

Of course, this must be mutual. You can't try to be friendly with someone who assumes that you're just another "bad guy" who is going to behave exactly like the previous bad guy did. That mindset automatically arrests any kind of attempt for friendship. When I sense animosity in the other person, I just know it's not going to work out. I don't even understand why people are on this site if they expect everybody to be bad. You can't approach a stranger and try to build a friendship if you think they have all sorts of faults and evil intentions before they even open their mouth.



And in response to Karli, I think, in the USA, there are many Christians who call themselves Christians. In Hungary, where I come from, a lot of people are atheists. You ask a random stranger on the street if he's a Christian, and chances are he'll say "No." But over here in America, everybody is a Christian, it seems. I once lived in a bad neighborhood where prostitutes walked up and down the street all day and all night. And there was a lady from church who tried to minister to them. The strange thing is these women on the streets all knew Jesus and claimed to be a Christian. haha So, just because some guy says, "I am a Christian" means nothing.

You have to narrow it down a little bit more. There is a popular doctrine in church that says once you're saved, you're always saved. I think, this doctrine is primarily responsible for the lots of fake Christians in the church, because this doctrine teaches that it's enough to get saved once. Say a prayer. Accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior, and your future is sealed. You're going to heaven, and there is nothing you or anyone can do to prevent that. So, you might as well rob a bank, kill people, divorce, or do anything you want. You're still going to heaven, because you're saved. So, it doesn't matter whether you keep God's law or not, because "we don't live by the law. We are saved by grace." People who take this grace message and take it too far often live sinful lives. They will do anything and call themselves a Christian, because that's what the preacher said.

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Posted : 29 Mar, 2020 09:45 AM

I would like clarify something I've said in regards to the once-saved-always-saved doctrine. Paul said this in Romans 8:38, which is used to support this teaching: "For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."



Now, keep in mind that Paul the Apostle visited heaven. He was able to see the future. He saw people who were saved. He saw that their destinies were sealed before they were even born. God predestined them. He chose them. They were destined to go to heaven before they even got saved. How amazing! Imagine you're witnessing a marathon running race, and God all of a sudden takes you out of your body and gives you a peek into the future, and He shows you who is going to win. And then the next moment, you find yourself back in your body. Now that you have seen the future, you can say "I know who is going to win this race, because God showed it to me, and no one is going to mess with the outcome. No one. No angel or demon or anybody in heaven or earth or anywhere can change what God has predestined." You can say this, because you have seen the future just like Paul did. However, if you don't see the future, you can't make this claim. Going to heaven is just like a race. We don't know who is going to win until it's over. ...unless God shows you the future. And only in that case you can say that you know the outcome and no one is going to change it. But otherwise, you can't say that. So, since Paul had seen the future, he was able to make this claim, but anyone else who hadn't seen the future cannot say the same thing. It would be boastful if I just said, "I am going to win this race and no one stop me" if God didn't tell me or show me that I will indeed win. But once He does show me the future, it's no longer boastful to say that. This is what many people miss, and they preach this verse as if it applied to everybody.

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Posted : 30 Mar, 2020 05:26 AM

Silver, if I may respond to the teaching of Grace. The Gospel is all about Grace. What the Law could not do...God did for us. I understand that many people who are born in Christian homes, confess christianity simply because they were not born in a Muslim family...But they are not born again. Grace is not and has never been a licence to sin...people have been sinning without a licence anyway, we are born sinners, our genetic makeup is sin by virtue of just being born. However, Titus says; it is the Grace of God that teaches us to say No to sin, to live an upright and self controlled life in this present dark age. Grace is therefore a teacher of holy living. Secondly, In Ephesians, that salvation is by Grace...and not by works...not anything I could possibly do to earn salvation is the very essence of Grace. It is God's work and God's gift to whosoever, is willing to receive by faith in Christ Jesus. And all who accept Jesus as their salvation, have passed on from eternal damnation to Life..it's that simple! .it is the gift of God, and one cannot lose it because it if freely and graciously given to the repentant sinner! The Bible says.....Hebrews 7:25 ..He is able to save them completely those who come to God through him, seeing He is ever living making intercession for them. Our salvation is guaranteed. It is secured by God not ourselves. I can therefore say I will see heaven...I will be there during the marriage supper. Christ is our confidence. The Cross is our confidence not our sinful/weak selves.



No child of God, who understands the Grace of God, loves sinning/keeps on sinning wilfully...No. ..Such, do not understand anything of the richess of God's mercy and grace.

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Posted : 30 Mar, 2020 05:42 AM

Silver, ....again for a genuinely Saved person ...(yes because they are fakes, wolves in sheep clothes, just like there are fake currencies.), though infants in their salvation, meaning they still struggle with some addictions,.some besetting sins...they cannot lose their salvation...otherwise the Gospel of Jesus Christ will not be called 'good news' ..kindly are you aware that ...we grow in this salvation?, are you also aware that God has perfected us forever us who are being made holy? Hebrews 10:14



And Hebrews 10:10 And by that will, we have been made holy through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ once for all. Hallelujah....who wants to sin in the light of such great mercy! Praise the Lord!

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