Author	Thread: Is it all about the sex?
Katbbw View Profile History	Is it all about the sex? Posted : 17 May, 2017 11:20 PM Hey guys, whats going on? I havent dated in a long long time. It seems like there's always a long list of things to get through even before I meet someone. I am a Christian woman, devoted to God and obedient to him. I have been celibate for a very long time. Im asking the guys that are really God fearing. Not the ones who just say they are. Can and will you wait for sex until marriage? It is so frustrating and it's hard enough to wait for marriage. Do you still see it as a beautiful devotion to you if you married a pure woman. I'm not saying virgin here for the ladies that are my age, just pure. Post Reply
View Profile History	Is it all about the sex? Posted : 18 May, 2017 12:02 PM It's not the waiting that gets you, it's the being in love AND then waiting that can drive a man completely bonkers. Being in love releases a LOT of sexual energy that needs to go somewhere, it does not just dissipate. This is true for both sexes but especially for men (mostly because of testosterone poisoning) and one of the reasons long courtships are just plain impractical. Yes passion gets randomly out of hand but for a man just being in the presence of the current "love of his life" can be enough to cause minor problems.... the only way to realistically wait until marriage is a strict minimum on physical contact and not waiting "to be sure". Waiting too long is stupid anyway since you only actually ever intimately meet a significant other after marriage no matter how long you might live and sleep together beforehand. Post Reply
1jon310 View Profile History	Is it all about the sex? Posted : 18 May, 2017 05:37 PM It takes maturity with a true and real Love for the other person, God and yourself to say no. I worked out a list of written boundaries after having learned the proper lessons of purity. Now I hand the written boundaries to the other person and we discuss them. If the other person will not discuss the boundaries or says that they are not important, then it is time to move on. Sister this is not just a problem with guys. There is a part of me that wishes that I was no longer able so that I could truthfully tell that, so as to sort out the sex addicts from the beginning. As I have shared before in the forums... sex and intimacy are not necessarily the same thing. May God protect you and save us all from ourselves. Post Reply
View Profile History	Is it all about the sex? Posted : 19 May, 2017 02:09 AM It's also important to differentiate between actual sex addicts and people who are merely starved for a natural human need. The big difference is that in woman desire needs to be built up over time but with men it just builds up anyway all by itself without ever asking, it's also much more physical for men than for woman. In the end its like painless starving, you don't die but you also cannot live. It's very easy to be judgemental over a problem you have never had yourself and we are not all built the same. Post Reply
View Profile History	Is it all about the sex? Posted : 20 May, 2017 05:36 PM Like Rambo919 said, I think the waiting is harder when you already have a boyfriend/girlfriend, and you're just waiting. I am 35 and have spent 90% of my life being single. It has never been an issue to me. And I don't think of it as just being a "beautiful devotion" like you said, but it's God's command. So, I want to do what's right. This does not mean that I keep every commandment of God at all times and never do any mistakes. But this would be too big of a mistake, I think. Sex outside of marriage is a major sin. It's not a tiny mistake. It's a huge screwup. And I'll try to avoid it. When I was in a relationship, it wasn't an issue, because the relationship lasted only 6 months. But I think, if our relationship had lasted longer, we would have gotten married within a year or so. Why wait? I don't see any reason why two people should wait for more than a year, especially once they are in their 30s. I mean what exactly would you be waiting for anyway? If starts to get uncomfortable to be apart, then get married. Post Reply
1jon310 View Profile History	Is it all about the sex? Posted : 20 May, 2017 10:09 PM I agree with Rambo on being able to differentiate between addiction and seeking connection. The problem arises when the majority of people cannot differentiate between the need for physical touch for the purpose of nurturing or healing and that intercourse is not the same thing. No matter how our current world tries to down play consequences for our poor choices and sin, there are always consequences that must be paid eventually be they physically, emotionally or spiritually. Actually, very often the consequences we pay encompass all of those areas. Bottom line... having sex outside of marriage has nothing to do with a sacrificial Love for the other person and it dishonors them, ourselves and worst of all it dishonors God. Jesus told us that if we Loved Him we would keep His commands. = one man and one woman only having sex within their own marriage. Post Reply
Chioniso View Profile History	Is it all about the sex? Posted : 6 Jun, 2017 07:56 AM Its so good to be Christian. Holy spirit teaches us the best way to do it. I support no sex before marriage. Ladies men always want to use us sexually. Mind you marriage is not the only thing to do in our life. Let it be unto God's will. Most men lies in order to have sex. Seek God and His righteousness. Surely He will lead you. If you want sex just wait for marriage, no marriage then no sex. There is still great life without sex. As of me each time I am approached I tell point blank NO SEX before marriage. As a result I don't have the boyfriend and I am doing very well. In all of my daily schedules there is only me, my two kids and GOD. Its good try it. Post Reply
View Profile History	Is it all about the sex? Posted : 14 Jul, 2017 12:34 PM Wow you sound like me. I have been a widow for almost 6 years, and I am having a hard time finding a man of God. Not a Christian guy, but a true man of God. I was told by one guy that if I do not believe in sex before marriage, then I am going to be single for the rest of my life. Well, if that is God's plans then so be it. You stick to your belief girl, God will bless you for your devotion to Him. Post Reply
TammyLM View Profile History	Is it all about the sex? Posted : 18 Jul, 2017 04:18 PM Thank you for giving me hope that there are still men like you out there. I was beginning to believe you didn't exist anymore because I have had more issues with men who call themselves Christians then with non- Christians. Post Reply
TammyLM View Profile History	Is it all about the sex? Posted : 18 Jul, 2017 04:18 PM Thank you for giving me hope that there are still men like you out there. I was beginning to believe you didn't exist anymore because I have had more issues with men who call themselves Christians then with non- Christians. Post Reply
View Profile History	Is it all about the sex? Posted : 22 Jul, 2017 09:44 AM Dear Rambo, I found my self mostly agreeing iwth you until I read "testosterone poisoning", perhaps a poor choice of words, without testosterone you'd be in a pretty bad place....the connotations of that could possibly put you on a course to destruction, would you refer to a womans inability to control herself as oestrogen poisoning ? We live in a Age where Godly principles are under attack, one of the most successful attacks so far has been on the authority position and role of men with reference to God's Word and will, so the phrase "testosterone poisoning" really does fall into that camp, perhaps God messed up when he made us ? was it short hand for an inability to control ones self in the heighths or depths of passion ? I know I sound very harsh, principles are unyielding as is God's plan, his design, please do not fall into the camp denegrating aspects of Gods work to fit into certain popular agendas. As I said before I found myself mostly agreeing with your posts as they were well thought out and fairly even handed... however be careful that you do not fall into the drip drip trap of popular culture and thought as it rarely Honours God, in the world not of it...and like you I am definitely not perfect so please do not think I am on an arrogance trip. Otis Post Reply

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