Okay, so I haven't spent much time on here, but I thought I would ask all you guys out there what is the best way to try and start a conversation with a woman. Something more than "Hi, I'm - - - -". I really have wanted to say more, but I'm never sure where and how to start.
I think, we ought to talk about ourselves in our own profiles. If you want to say something about yourself, write it in your profile. In a private message, you talk mostly about the other person--you may ask questions or make positive observations or compliment the other person.
And there are so many websites that tell you what NOT to talk about, but they don't tell you what you MAY talk about. So, here are some questions that you may want to ask in a private message:
What is the meaning of your name?
When and how did you become a Christian?
What do you do for a living?
Are you right-handed or left-handed?
Why do you like living in this area? (if she is local)
Where were you born?
Where did you grow up?
Do you play chess or other strategy games? Are you good at them?
Do you watch the news?
Would people describe you as happy?
What kind of music do you like?
Would you ever consider living abroad?
Do you prefer to live in a city or on a farm?
Where did your ancestors originally come from?
Are your parents together?
Do you like children?
Have you ever been home schooled?
How do you spend your free time?
What are your hobbies?
Where have you traveled?
In what countries or states have you lived before?
Have you ever gotten lost while traveling? (if she mentioned in her profile that she likes to travel)
How many times have you moved in your life?
What is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you?
What would you do if you saw a classmate cheating on a test?
If your house was on fire and you could grab only 3 things before leaving, what would they be?
If you had a big win in the lottery, how long would you wait to tell people? Who would you tell first?
What would you do with 10 million dollars?
If a relative died and left you a million dollars, what would you do with the money?
What is the strangest thing you have ever eaten? (if she mentions in her profile that she likes to try new things)
Have you ever participated in a protest? (if she mentions that she is passionate about politics)
Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving? (if you like doing these things)
Have you ever seen a volcano? (if you have recently seen one or live near one)
Have you ever driven a snowmobile? (if you live in the north and she lives in the south)
Have you ever solved a rubix cube? (if she seems to be very skillful or smart)
With how many people have you share the Gospel so far? (if she is into missionary work)
Have you ever performed in a talent show? (if she claims she can do something amazing)
Have you ever been compared to a celebrity?
Have you ever seen a ball lightning?
What's the largest animal you have caught? (if she likes to hunt)
Have you ever been on a blind date? (if she seems to be experienced)
What is the worst injury you have had? (if her favorite hobby is some dangerous activity)
Have you ever worked in the military? (if you are in the military now)
Have you ever cheated on a test? (if you have nothing else to ask)
Have you ever been deep sea fishing? (if that's your passion)
Are you generally introverted or extroverted?
Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict?
Do you like spending time alone or with friends?
Are you more of a talker or more of a listener?
Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan?
Do you like to party?
Are you easy to get to know?
How would you describe your idea of the perfect life?
What does success mean to you?
Would you describe yourself as someone who is attentive to detail OR someone who prefers to look at the forest instead of the trees?
Do you write poems?
How do you like to spend New Year's Eve? (if you're writing in December)
If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?
Do you set your clocks 5 minutes ahead to avoid being late?
Do you ever play solitaire when you are bored?
How often do you get a haircut? (if she has really long hair)
Do you like to play tennis?
What kind of video games do you like to play? (if she mentions that she likes to play video games)
How often do you go to the beach? (if she lives in a city that is really close to the beach)
In your opinion, what is the secret to a good marriage?
Do you believe it is possible to lose one's salvation? (if she likes theology)
How would you describe the Trinity?
Which Bible translation is the most accurate in your opinion?
Do you believe in the rapture? Do you think it will happen before, after, or in the middle of the Great Tribulation?
Do you think that dinosaurs ever coexisted with man?
What do you think about Obamacare?
What do you think about Obama?
What do you think about global warming?
Do you think life is fair or unfair? and why?
Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
How do you feel about violent television shows or video games?
Do you believe in extraterrestrials and life on other planets? (if you do)
If we could improve humanity using genetic manipulation, do you think that would be a good idea?
Is it perfectly fair that many people acquire large incomes, not through work, but through inheritance?
Do you think that animals can enjoy music? (if she likes animals and music)
Do you believe in vaccinations? (if this matters a lot to you)
Do you have a favorite number or lucky number?
What do you absolutely love in life? What do you love about the world and the people in your life?
What do you think the greatest invention is in your lifetime and why?
Do you often worry how you come across to others? (if she seems to be shy)
What's your favorite thing to cook? (if she likes to cook)
For me personally, the two messages I've found to be the most successful by far are 1. "Hello, I have noticed you here a couple of times. I�d thought I would come over and introduce myself. My name is Brandon. What is your name?" 2.Quick question, how come you're on here if you're going to ignore all the guys anyway? And yes, for years I would take the time to read profiles and personally craft each message asking questions about her showing I read it and sound funny or interesting or try to stand out in a good way and the results were always atrocious. You get way more mileage out of carpet bombing/copy pasting and it's definitely the way to go. If you don't believe me try it!
Lately though I've been dabbling with coming up with a template that allows for the efficiency of copy paste, but is still a little more personal.
DO NOT ask for a woman's first name until you and she have established some level of comfort with each other. Scammers are famous for asking that question first and it raises red flags for some of us. Just sayin'. . .
DO NOT ask for a woman's first name until you and she have established some level of comfort with each other. Scammers are famous for asking that question first and it raises red flags for some of us. Just sayin'. . .
Be confident, be a "man", be honest, look for commonality, just be friendly. Don't treat dating sites like shopping carts for women. Don't treat every woman like she's the one, but don't forget the possibility that she's the one. The most successful things I've found, be unique, and as lame as it sounds, be funny(but don't try to hard, they can tell).
Women will always want to know if you even read their profile. You should talk about something in their profile and ask a couple of questions related to it. I sometimes pick out one of their likes and talk about what we have in common instead of saying"we have a lot in common". If they like horses I tell them that I like trail riding and have owned horses. If they like dogs I ask if they have a dog, what kind is it? If they like the beach I tell them how I used to be a surfer. If they like looking at the stars I tell them I used to be an astronaut. . . no . . . that's not true. It's not difficult to break the ice by showing genuine interest and humor always helps.
Some bad examples of first emails I have gotten are ones that:
1) Only have a statement or note in the subject and nothing in the body of an email
2) Have a "Hi" "Hello" or other greetings and nothing more.
3) Have a "Hi, how are you?" as the body of the email . . . usually I respond to these with . . . "Fine" or "Good" or "Ok" ... because in every day conversation you tend to only use that question as a filler, so why should I tell them more when they don't care?
4) Have statements about themselves in an email to me . . . how does that give me any way to respond to it? I just believe that that guy wants to tell me about themselves and doesn't care that I don't respond.
5) Have a reprimand about some part of my profile . . . example of this is an email I got telling me that I was backwards and uneducated because I have a pic of the deer my brothers and I shot in my profile . . . sigh!!
A couple of good emails include any question, any question at all . . . and the previous responses have a good list of interesting questions I would be willing to respond to.
If you must use a copy and paste type system, ask a question that most gals would want to answer . . . and then after they answer your email, make sure you respond with a answer to their questions AND another question about a more specific profile interest, this will keep the emails flowing!
Lately I've been having pretty satisfactory results with just asking one question about their profile and that's it. It's easy to write, read, and respond to (especially if it's something she obviously likes). It's open ended. It shows you're interested, while still sounding confident, puts yourself out there, but not too far out there, etc. Just make sure you make a great impression with your profile since that's what she'll likely look at that in addition to your message to decide whether she'll respond or not. I like to think of it as being the difference between having Leonardo DiCaprio ask why she likes reading Cosmo vs. Bernie the Bum asking the same question. Yes that's an example of an actual email I sent because she said she liked reading Cosmo in her profile. And if she doesn't respond to that I think it'd be okay to come back in a couple weeks if you were still interested and ask another similar question and in that way perpetually keep your options open and maximize potential without overstepping people's personal/virtual boundaries.
