Author Thread: Christian Guys Please Respond to My Inquiry on Pornography
LastLady

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Christian Guys Please Respond to My Inquiry on Pornography
Posted : 15 Feb, 2014 11:42 AM

I recently got saved. I dated a man for many years who viewed pornography. I did not realize the extent of it until I moved in with him. It was my first time moving in with a man. I soon realized that I was bothered by pornography and lust.



I left him because of his lustful ways. How can I find out if he man partakes in such activities? It is a private activity and it is difficult to determine. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks!







P.S. Please do not tell me that pornography is normal and that ALL guys do. I do not believe in the words: all, impossible, always, and never. Thanks!

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CuriousGeorge

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Christian Guys Please Respond to My Inquiry on Pornography
Posted : 16 Feb, 2014 09:04 PM

ask him his views? it's not like you'll get hints by looking into his eyes or something.

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Christian Guys Please Respond to My Inquiry on Pornography
Posted : 18 Feb, 2014 02:01 PM

I agree, being open and honest about it, once you feel your relationship has gotten to that point. You have to talk about your views on sex at some point, anyways. Maybe you could make some remark about porn and see how he reacts, or just ask him a less direct question than "are you into porn?" If he is a man of God then he should be adamantly against it and not afraid to say so.

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Christian Guys Please Respond to My Inquiry on Pornography
Posted : 18 Feb, 2014 07:54 PM

I posted on here but apparently it didn't take who knows.



As a Christian you will want to date Christian guys. If a guy is a Christian he should not partake in any form of pornography. He should also be pure with you too.

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dunravin

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Christian Guys Please Respond to My Inquiry on Pornography
Posted : 19 Feb, 2014 08:56 PM

We live in an age and time of increasing stimulation of our senses a new hedonism almost that has become the social norm. Included in that social norm is the advancement of hormonal imbalances often effected by the misalignment of genetic modification in food and medicine. So We have hormonal imbalances coupled with increasing stimulii of the pleasure centers of the brain and such stimulation as pornography or gambling etc...is intensified and more acceptable within many social modalities. The mores evolve into a new social dynamic. That does in no manner include the resulting spiritual chaos of a hormonal/genetic psychophysical imbalance. We are tripartite beings and any imbalance within very minute tolerances will generally effect a more turbulent manifestation of spiritual chaos. One such manifestation is pornography and with consideration to the foregoing any action taken must be very radical. A guy or a woman indulging in pornography is in for a very difficult ride when trying to enter into a personal monogamous( loving) relationship as opposed to the imaginary plaything in their imagination relationship. So difficult does this process become that many people simply give up on the reality of a monogamous loving relationship and prefer instead to indulge in the fantasy relationship. If you suspect that this is the case in any personal relationship then surely you would ask the question, and if you believe that you can be with this person and help them to grow through their fanciful notions then be prepared to institute radical change to your joint relationship...Consider environment and Food and the imbalances that are extant within our lives..........Our bitterness also plays a part...and our arrogance...

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shepherdess

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Christian Guys Please Respond to My Inquiry on Pornography
Posted : 7 Mar, 2014 08:58 PM

As a woman, I am so sad at how many have looked at her post and NOT replied.



And as for what one guy said about not seeing it in his eyes or whatever...you would be surprised! It is actually easy sometimes to tell if a man is into that...

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Christian Guys Please Respond to My Inquiry on Pornography
Posted : 8 Mar, 2014 05:33 AM

I don't think porn is healthy for any man (much of it is unrealistic and how could you be comfortable watching something where it's likely at least one person was coerced), however I do wonder why usage seems to have increased and whether that's related to how women's accepted roles have changed.



The OP mentions the one she lived with was lustful: what does that mean? That he was more interested in porn than normal sex, or that he wanted sex when she didn't? I won't defend porn usage but equally I won't let men's need for sex be demonized as immoral or abnormal either, which is how I read the post.

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dunravin

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Christian Guys Please Respond to My Inquiry on Pornography
Posted : 8 Mar, 2014 06:02 PM

Shepheardess ...There is no such thing as a mind reader...so you can have no accurate 'reading' of who is interested in pornography...there is no magical test...and just as many females are interested in the phenomenon of pornography as there are males...So, No you cannot "tell"...the only supposition that is in effect is your own and most people do not have evidence available to them to categorically determine whether another person has a penchant for watching pornography or not. This is simply assumptive behaviour...no facts ...no evidence...just an uncanny ability to "tell".

To ask a potential mate if they are interested in pornography demands a relationship already with boundaries and prejudices set in place...a relationship with a firm foundation of trust already established...And humans being humans, some body is probably going to not tell the truth...

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Christian Guys Please Respond to My Inquiry on Pornography
Posted : 15 Mar, 2014 08:19 PM

Ask him if he has any kind of addictions. Do it in a letter.

If he is honest with you, he will tell you.

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Christian Guys Please Respond to My Inquiry on Pornography
Posted : 16 Mar, 2014 12:21 AM

The only way you will know is if he watched porn is if you see him doing it or you take his word for it (ask him). "A bird whose mouth is closed cannot be fed."



I watch porn to learn what I might like in sex. I watch it to visualize having sex with an ideal woman (nobody in particular). Porn does not fuel me to just want to fornicate or commit adultery. It fuels me to want to have sex with only someone I am committed to. All men are not "dogs."

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LastLady

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Christian Guys Please Respond to My Inquiry on Pornography
Posted : 18 Mar, 2014 05:00 PM

Are you saying that watching pornography is not committing adultery?

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