Author	Thread: I know this might be daunting, but humor me.......
Hisjoymypeace View Profile History	I know this might be daunting, but humor me....... Posted : 8 Nov, 2013 07:32 AM RE8E recently posted a thread on the "Ask A Girl" section, referring to what our roles are in "pursing"..... My question is this fellas, what do you think your role is as first initiator/purser, in and during a courtship and then ultimately as the spiritual/head of your family and household......yeah I want to hear what your opinions are guys....from start to....well "beginning"(smile)lol!!!! Be blessed! Post Reply
nical61 View Profile History	I know this might be daunting, but humor me....... Posted : 8 Nov, 2013 10:34 AM hI, perhaps this might be considered a "modern" view but i never considered myself to be the spiritual head in my family surely it should be democratic , head in my mind indicates a leader i would not be comfortable assuming the lead role purely on the grounds of gender Regarding courtship i would be very happy being persued by a lady, but unfortunately for us men i think ladys are "hard wired" to expect men to do the pursuing. God Bless Neil Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	I know this might be daunting, but humor me....... Posted : 8 Nov, 2013 11:10 AM I don't think there is any precedent except "chauvinism" for the whole "first initiator/pursuer" idea. The biblical roles of marriage are only in effect after marriage. I'd say that the "first initiator" thing probably came about because women wanted to be assured that men were leaders before getting married, which is good, but that still has nothing to do with men having to make every first move. I think that, in general, women got a bit complacent with their own responsibilities. If the marriage is going to be a companionship and a partnership, then both have responsibilities to be active and exercising their powers of perception and leadership, especially in a christian home. BOTH the man and woman have responsibilities to be examples of Christ and be under HIS headship first, not under their spouse. I would want to see an active Christ-centered life in any woman that I would pursue, to see that she already has a leader and already is an ambassador for Him. I'm not interested in someone who is waiting for a man to set them free and give them purpose. Christ gives us all the freedom/purpose/authority that we need. As an ideal, and this goes for both guys and gals, I would want both genders to initiate a relationship if they see someone who they can admire and find attractive and respect, not just wait around to be noticed. Rejection might be painful, but once you get over that fear of being rejected, what does it hurt to make the first move if you feel like someone could be compatible? :peace::peace: Post Reply
sisygirl View Profile History	I know this might be daunting, but humor me....... Posted : 8 Nov, 2013 11:30 AM Maybe i'm missing something here about 'mans' role of leadership in their families. How can a man miss leadership spiritually, when the main existance of our being is 'spirit' What happened when Eve led through a simple fruit? Was it even her place to lead? Didn't she introduce foreign energies into their marriege through the snake? Wasn't their kids the first ones to kill one another? Look at the second Adam.... Christ, was He not capable of throwing himself down and therefore having angles sent down to ensure that He doesn't fall? They both knew He could, the devil knew just as Jesus knew... Though that was besides the point. The point was Not to take instructions from the devil.... Period!! So you're opening a window for which energies in the marriage by not taking your full time role of leadership? Why must there be limits anyway? Shouldn't a man be leading all the way since ordained by God from birth? Please don't feel attacked Sir or disrespected from my countless questions, I only need to understand what you mean by you not seeing yourself leading your family spiritual. Who should then? NB..... Don't be offended please, we just talking. Post Reply
sisygirl View Profile History	I know this might be daunting, but humor me....... Posted : 8 Nov, 2013 11:37 AM The above question is meant for Nical61 Post Reply
nical61 View Profile History	I know this might be daunting, but humor me....... Posted : 8 Nov, 2013 12:13 PM of course i am not offended , and i didnt explain my opinion clearly , what i should have said was in a family the husband and wife can surelly share the role of spiritual lead Post Reply
View Profile History	I know this might be daunting, but humor me....... Posted : 8 Nov, 2013 12:33 PM Nical, Surely the husband and wife CAN do so. However, this would require that the husband abdicates at least some part of his calling and responsibility before God. If one does not honor God by his obedience, then one should not expect God to honor him with a blessed marriage. Post Reply
Cat4Christ777 View Profile History	I know this might be daunting, but humor me....... Posted : 8 Nov, 2013 12:55 PM Nical, I bet you're trying not to sound like a chauvanist with your reply. However, if you read the Bible, it clearly states the man should be the head of the household, just as Christ is the Head of the Church (Ephesians 5:23). If a man does not want that role, he creates a weak marriage, one that will not withstand the test of time. Christianity has existed for over 2,000 years simply because of Christ's strong leadership. Then again, like a lot of the men here, you are probably not looking for marriage. In my opinion, if a man is truly Christian, he would be seeking marriage--the only place where true love can freely exist between a man and a woman. The Bible clearly states that, outside of marriage, sexual relations are a SIN. But I digress. Sorry for getting off topic, but all these things are inter-related for me. LOL! I don't have any 'boxes' or walls in my brain. ;-) Take care, --Cat Post Reply
nical61 View Profile History	I know this might be daunting, but humor me....... Posted : 8 Nov, 2013 02:21 PM Hi Cat i hope you are well, I was alittle hurt by your comments about me and my opinions, you presume too much, we lost my father to cancer when i was 5 my mother never remarried so of course she took the lead in all aspects of our lives and did a wondeful job too, so to me it is natural for a woman to take the lead or be a equal partner in spiritualy guiding a family. You stated that like "most men on here" i am probably not seeking a marriage partner i would be wasting my time and yours if i tried to convince you otherwise as you seem to have already formed your opinion of me. Be Happy Be Healthy Neil (not angry but a wee bit hurt) Post Reply
View Profile History	I know this might be daunting, but humor me....... Posted : 8 Nov, 2013 02:59 PM I think it would be to love our wives just as Christ loves the church like the Bible says to. Where does that leave us unmarried guys? I suppose it would be to think about your potential future wife who you don't know yet, and consider whether or not what your doing now is showing her that you love her to that extent. In other words, are there some things you do now that you would have to stop doing if you were married? Post Reply
Hisjoymypeace View Profile History	I know this might be daunting, but humor me....... Posted : 8 Nov, 2013 05:46 PM @nical61, Just to note man of God.......when referring to a man's role as "spiritual/head of household", I was not so much referring to the "literal" role of a male/husband/father role as I was the "man of God" who essentially because of his "personal relationship" with The Lord, would be directed in his choices and decisions by The Father on the daily workings within his home and the lives of his family. This was not necessarily dictated to gender, but I very much understood your response and I respect your candor in sharing with us the difficulties of your upbringing. Be blessed my brother and God's best to you on your return to CDFF! Post Reply

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