Please read the following story and give your thoughts thanks.
Jake has a friend named Samantha, they met through mutual friends and decided to stay in touch. Their friendship grew and Samantha who is a born again believer, loves the Lord with all her heart, is in ministry and has shared the love of Jesus with Jake.
Funny thing; love, Samantha loves Jesus and Jake has fallen in love with her. He's kinda shy around her and it makes for an endearing sight for he doesn't know how to tell her and he always comes off as awkward. Then one day after many invitations he comes to church and goes into the prayer line to accept Jesus into His heart. After a while he makes other friends who encourage him in the faith but he only has eyes for Sam. He to tries to involve himself in the church. One day while hanging out together Jake works up the courage and kisses Sam. Taken aback she asks why did he do that? Because I like you. She smiles softly and looks at him. "Jake I like you too... but--"
"Then let's try to make something work between us!" he says boldly, Sam is full of regret, "Jake although I like you maybe a relationship isn't what we need right now, you're fairly new to the faith and you should take time to work on that relationship before you try one now."
Jake clearly upset rears back and starts pacing, "Are you serious?! You invited me so I came, I got saved and started involving myself and now we can't be together?"
Sam's eyes widens as realization and asks the questions she now already knows the answer too. "Jake did you come to church and accept Christ to be with me?"
He looks her square in the eye "Yes." and storms off angrily.
To be continued....
Thoughts? Comments?
I don't really want to ask direct questions here as to guide thinking but after reading give it some thought and tell me what do you think of such a situation?
I remember seeing a situation similar to this once. A girl at church (she was probably in her early 20s) started bringing her boyfriend to church. It seemed pretty obvious that he was there only because she asked him to come, but after a while, he got saved and their relationship quickly went from dating to engagement...which made me wonder if his salvation was "real" or just a way to move the relationship along. After they were married, he still seemed very apathetic towards church, and even quit coming for a while. Eventually, though, he really did accept Christ and became an active church member who contributed greatly to the congregation and was eager to witness to the unsaved.
All that to say, I don't agree with "missionary dating," which seems to be what this girl at my church was doing. However, in the story you related, it doesn't seem that this was the case...the guy and girl were just friends, and she cared enough about him to witness to him and get him to come to church...and wasn't willing to jump right into a relationship with him before he had a chance to mature in his faith. I think he did the wrong thing by coming to church and "getting saved" just to win a place in her heart, and I think she did the right thing in refusing to date him immediately following his supposed decision. I would also question the validity of his salvation decision; just because someone goes forward and says a prayer doesn't mean that the decision was sincere or that the person actually accepted Christ. The fact that he admitted that he did it just so they could date would be a big red flag.
My sister's husband liked her a lot in high school, but she was a little iffy about dating him, so she asked him to come to church. He probably only came at first for her, but he really got saved.
I'm not saying this works for everyone, but your story made me think of my sister and family. They have been married a number of years and are all growing in the Lord.
Since the time of the disciples of Jesus, we have seen the results of naivety in the minds of those, seeking to be either followers or witnesses for Christ. This will continue to happen as long as we continue to fail in counting up the cost of truly serving God.
Samantha clearly should not have been spending time with this guy, but rather should have had enough spiritual understanding and concern to connect him to the fellowship of brothers in Christ, if her real motive was only to lead him to the Lord. It appears that she deliberately ignored his building emotions for her, which caused him to come to Christ to be with her. Clearly this was wrong, and the Holy Spirit had to have warned her of this potential event the moment the two first met through the mutual friends.
I think she owes him an apology for the misuse of her femininity in the name of Christ. Clearly, she knew his emotions were headed in that direction. The Holy Spirit leads and guides in all truth, not just some.
Since this is a true story I would have to disagree she was totally oblivious to his feelings as he treated her no differently than any of his friends. It wasn't a matter of leading on anyone but a matter of wanting to be with someone so badly his motives for joining church was centred on her because she made no qualms about her friends knowing that she would never be involved with an unbeliever. Just wanted to clear that up. Comment away lol
"He's kinda shy around her and it makes for an endearing sight for he doesn't know how to tell her and he always comes off as awkward."
This is not the comment of someone who is oblivious to the emotions of another, but rather one who is discerning enough to recognize the internal struggles of another.
"Then one day after many invitations he comes to church and goes into the prayer line to accept Jesus into His heart. "
She clearly sees the guy is " love struck", :hearts: (it makes for an endearing sight) and so the best thing she could do, is keep give the guy " many invitations" to church? Yea right.
Again, a true Godly woman with pure motives would clearly have address the issue, and put distance between herself and him, the moment she started seeing his "awkward" behaviors which she states "always " showed themselves whenever the two were together. She would not have continued to lure the guy towards her, but rather the males of the church. She would have made it clear the moment God began to reveal to her where his emotions were headed.
In Proverbs 30:20 the bible reads: Such is the way of an adulterous woman; she eats, and wipes her mouth, and said, I have done no wickedness.
Today, I see many women in the church doing this very same thing, using their sexuality to entice men into the church, and then trying to proclaim their innocents to God after having done so. It is wrong for both males and females to behave in this manner.
"After a while he makes other friends who encourage him in the faith but he only has eyes for Sam."
Why "after" and not before? Why were there no "other friends" in the picture, to prevent him from developing only "eyes for Sam"?
Clearly, this was more than just hanging out, Sam's words reveal this. She was caught up in the attention she getting from this situation, and used it to make herself feel attractive, not taking into account the situation she was creating by allowing things to progress as far as they did.
Devotedlove, I think you are seeing exactly what you want to see in the situation, but no one else seems to be seeing it.
Personally, I think it could be very easy for someone to not recognize that a friend has a "crush" on her, especially if he can't or won't come right out and admit that. Awkwardness doesn't always equal "love struck." That "endearing sight" may have been obvious to other people but not to her. (And whether or not they should have pointed it out to her so that she could take care not to encourage the crush is not the question here.)
It sounds to me like Samantha cared enough about Jake's soul to invite him to church. Jake thought he could have a better chance of winning Sam's heart by going to church, walking down the isle, and getting involved in church...he was mistaken. She still cared only for his soul, and cared for him as a friend. From the little bit of info we were given in the first post, I don't see where she was trying to use her sexuality to get him to come to church. And I saw nothing that made me think that they were physically intimate or anything other than JUST FRIENDS in Samantha's eyes. It's not her fault that Jake let his own emotions run wild.
One more thing: We as Christians are commanded to witness. Sometimes that means mingling with non-believers. Sometimes that means getting to know them and earning their trust and respect.
And yes, I know it's pointless to argue with you, so have fun tearing this post apart as well.
My analysis was based upon the information kjd23k submitted as representative of Samantha's comments, who by the way is in ministry. That says a lot about her, and the situation. Most people I know who are involved in some type of church ministry are usually required to go through some type of Bible study and leadership training class, before being allowed to minister the word to others.
Most are never allowed to minister one on one, to the opposite sex, but rather in tandem partnership with others. It is unclear who these "mutual friends" were that introduce them, and why, but it was obviously for the two of them to become aware of each other.
At some point, I am sure the purpose was told to Samantha, who being involved in ministry, had much more control in the situation, than a person who does not know Christ, or is new to the faith.
So again, my reasoning is that she was in control of the situation, and should have turned that situation over to the fellowship of the brethren in the church, and let them witness to Jake, as this is the proper and fitting way for women to function in ministry, when confronted with dealing with the opposite sex.
But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the
As anyone who writes they either write from a first party, second party or third party perspective. this is from a third party perspective, I thank you bcpianogal for your wisdom and insigh tnot because i agree with you, into a very CLEAR cut situation but let me make it clear for the gentleman who is reading far too much into a situation that has been played out many times. Sometimes we use church politics to usurp our own common sense. I will state this again because this may not be clear THIS IS A TRUE STORY! I'm sorry but it kind of irks me to hear so much judgement on something that happens a lot in church.
Firstly I do not believe that you have to have special training to witness to people. I say this in the context that if I come to the Lord and I know someone who isn't saved, should I wait till I am trained by man before I run to them and say hey Jesus loves you and died for your sins? Sometimes I get so upset when we allow our intellect to override such simple faith and love for a lost soul. The men in the new testament gave the word, they baptized those who wanted to get saved and gave them the mandate Christ gave the church. There were no special classes, man came up with that one. We make witnessing so much about intellects trying to match that of the world and forget the leading of the Holy Spirit. Secondly "Samantha" is in dance ministry and only nineteen years old and is one of the most amazing prayer warriors I have ever seen, she has a powerful prophetic anointing on her life (and before you write something silly like why didn't God tell her, ask God, and whether this story was fact or fiction just judging that a woman would willingly use her sexuality to draw men, says two things to me; one, you have issues in that area and two, a true woman of God would never do that we are not manipulators waiting to trap a man. (Sigh)
Secondly when "Jake" came to church the other members reached out to him and because he has a naturally shy disposition accepted the fact that he may be more comfortable with the only person he really knew. People may have suspected but do you think it right for them to say something to her based on conjecture? To say ask and make him uncomfortable? I think it's a fair assessment to say that she had no clue I only found out ten years later that a close friend of mine had a crush on me! It happens.
She only realized that Jake liked her when he came on to her and she put a stop to it, she didn't lead him on he thought he had fulfilled the requirements by being saved because we are not supposed to be unequally yoked. When he left angry it was because she had rejected him. Not because she led him on and didn't fulfill his wishes. Many people do not have the strength to do that. You know what she told me afterwards, even as he professed his feelings, if his reason for accepting Christ was because he knew he needed Him, she would have still declined a relationship because she would want him to focus on his relationship with God because that is so much more important than a relationship between them. That if it was God's will it would happen (that's if she felt the same about him) What kind of woman does that sound like to you?
