Author Thread: Need some advice...
bcpianogal

View Profile
History
Need some advice...
Posted : 28 Dec, 2011 09:04 PM

OK guys, help me out here. (And this may be a little long...so try to read to the end!)

I'm on another free dating site in addition to this one. It's a secular site, and there are very few guys on there that I would even consider communicating with, but I occasionally reactivate my profile just in case someone new joins. That's what I did about a week ago.

After reactivating my profile, I looked through the list of matches and contacted those new guys who looked interesting. As always, there were two or three highly recommended matches that I chose not to contact for various reasons (usually because there was some obvious dealbreaker in the profile). Last night, though, I got a message from one of the guys that I chose to NOT contact. Normally, that wouldn't be a big deal, I'd just tell him that I'm not interested. But his message was pretty good...and when I reviewed his profile, it was very different from what I remembered. In fact, this profile was absolutely wonderful, and he clearly stated many things about himself that are exactly what I'm looking for in a guy. Hmm. OK, maybe my memory is bad?

I answered his message, and he wrote back almost immediately. His second message was quite lengthy (nothing wrong with that), but I had this nagging feeling that something was not quite right. Something that I couldn't put my finger on. He wanted to read my "journal entries" that the site requires/encourages, but for some reason couldn't access them. Fine. They are supposed to be for anyone to read, so I waited a few hours, then copied them into a message and sent them to him.

Again, he messaged me back within a few minutes. This time, he proceeded to go through my journal entries one point at a time and show how perfectly he fits with what I say I'm looking for in a guy. He agrees with absolutely everything I say, and is already talking about our first meeting and how wonderful everything is going to be for us because we seem to be perfect for each other.

Now my brain is screaming "Run the other way! Something isn't quite right here!" 1) I initially saw something in his profile that made me choose not to contact him. 2) That something wasn't there when I looked after he contacted me. 3) He's "too good to be true" in regards to what I'm looking for. I'm overly specific on this site, and yet he seems to fit every single, teeny tiny, insignificant detail. 4) He's already talking like I've agreed to meet him very soon, and he's even talking about long-term plans.



Am I being overly paranoid here? Or should I heed my gut reaction? I've never been in a situation like this before with an online match. Help!

Girls, feel free to weigh in on this issue as well.

Post Reply



View Profile
History
Need some advice...
Posted : 28 Dec, 2011 09:47 PM

I'm thinking that this guy read what you had posted, and edited his profile to match it, and that hes claiming to not be able to read the journal entry so that you think he couldn't have known about something you mentioned in it. Or maybe your paranoia is rubbing off on me lol

Post Reply



View Profile
History
Need some advice...
Posted : 28 Dec, 2011 09:54 PM

hello? go with your first instinct...

Post Reply



View Profile
History
Need some advice...
Posted : 29 Dec, 2011 03:54 AM

As much as I would like for you to meet a great guy, I think that he is either a scammer, or is trying too hard. NOBODY is a perfect match.



If you want to keep checking, asking him some questions without giving your answer first. That way he doesn't have any notes to compare. If he complains, ignore him.

Post Reply



View Profile
History
Need some advice...
Posted : 29 Dec, 2011 09:28 AM

I'd say go with your gut too. If there's any doubts, that's not a good sign. I mean going point by point through your journal? That's not really how it's done.

Post Reply

bcpianogal

View Profile
History
Need some advice...
Posted : 29 Dec, 2011 01:07 PM

Thanks guys. I'm going with my gut. If I have this many doubts in the first 24 hours of communication, it probably isn't going to get better!

Post Reply



View Profile
History
Need some advice...
Posted : 29 Dec, 2011 07:18 PM

I agree with the guys!

Post Reply



View Profile
History
Need some advice...
Posted : 29 Dec, 2011 07:26 PM

I wouldn't go running quite yet at the same time. Most likely, he is a scammer, but there is always the chance that your memory was wrong, his profile loaded wrong on your browswer etc.



One way to find out if you're a good match with him is this:

You start asking the questions. Ask him stuff that isn't on your profile, the intangibles you don't think about writing about. if he can answer those correctly, maybe he is worth talking to.



Or perhaps, try saying the opposite of what you would normally say and see if his opinion changes.



No matter what though, be careful. Doesn't sound right, but there's always that slight chance.

Post Reply



View Profile
History
Need some advice...
Posted : 30 Dec, 2011 02:36 AM

Don't break off communication just yet as you've only been speaking for a very short time and if he is fake then he'll slip up given time. Don't be pressured into meeting yet though - tell him quite bluntly to cool off on that expectation until some point way off in the future- his response could be revealing...

Post Reply



View Profile
History
Need some advice...
Posted : 30 Dec, 2011 04:43 AM

Sounds like you have no peace in this, my sister.

It is my experience that those who are quick to latch on to you are quick to latch on to the next target. A mature match will not push you, no matter how wonderfully attracted he may be to you.

Take it to the Lord. He knows who this guy is. :excited:

Post Reply



View Profile
History
Need some advice...
Posted : 30 Dec, 2011 05:37 AM

Hey Piano gal:



1Jn 4:1 Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits, whether they are from God; for many false prophets have gone forth into the world.

1Jn 4:2 By this know the Spirit of God: every spirit which confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God.

1Jn 4:3 And every spirit which does not confess that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is not from God; and this is the antichrist which you heard is coming, and now is already in the world.





Ask this guy a few Biblical questions such as these,yet do not give him any help.



Ask him WHo do you believe Yeshua / Jesus is ?



What is Biblical salvation.



There is only ONE way into the Kinship of GOD,which way is this.



Who is the Holy SPirit,and what is He like.



Is Yeshua / Jesus GOD.



Ask him for Biblical answers,giving chapter and verse answers,

as he might use Wikipedia



If he is unwilling to answer these,or is not able to Biblically answer these,

Then RUN,Forest RUN fast and far away..



Shalom

The Farmer

Post Reply

Page : 1 2